[Fic] You Eighteen Yet? [2/6]
You Eighteen Yet?
Second Time: 17 and a Half
» Fandom: Star Trek (STXI Universe)
» Chapter Rating: T
» Classification(s): Humor, Romance, Action/Adventure
» Warnings: Language, Sexual Situations
» Pairing(s): Bones/Chekov
» Summary: Five times Bones asked the kid how old he was, and the one time he didn't have to. Cute and/or sexy times with the good doctor and his bit of Russian jailbait. Will contain mentions of other parings.
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Second Time: 17 and a Half
You didn't need to be on shore leave to get wasted, especially when your damn good Chief Engineering Officer operated his own still in an unused storeroom on Deck 27.
You also didn't need to be on shore leave to get poisoned by alien substances, when your damn stupid Chief Engineering Officer invited you and a select group of friends to sample a batch of experimental extraterrestrial-berry-derived hooch.
They lay pretty much where they'd dropped, a sad heap of soldiers fallen in the battle against sobriety. When he slit his eyes open, they felt sand-blasted, and he gritted out a pained "M'thrf'ckr!" in a voice two octaves lower than usual. It tasted like an entire army had marched through his mouth, and enemy fire had taken out his higher brain functions. One arm was MIA. He couldn't so much as twitch his fingers under a mysterious warm weight flush against his left side.
For a second, he wasn't sure what had woken him up. There were sodden snores from all sides, and a rough grumble he recognized as one Jim Kirk returning to consciousness. "Th' fuck?" the captain asked thickly.
Then the knock came again.
"Nnnnnnn," Jim moaned in protest. "G'way."
The door slid open. In his current condition Bones couldn't see their visitor, but he was left no illusions about their identity when a cool, subtly disapproving voice said, "Captain. You are required on the bridge."
From his position facedown in the carpet next to Bones's feet, Jim groaned pitifully. "Oh God, Spock, I will give you a million trillion dollars to just disappear."
"I am in no need of supplemental income, nor do I believe your salary high enough to afford such a sum. Captain, you must get up. Beta Shift started approximately thirty-seven minutes ago."
Slowly moving his head, which felt like it might come unhinged at any moment, Bones looked down and saw that the warm body pressed into his side belonged to Pavel Chekhov. He'd wrapped Bones's arm around himself and appropriated it as a pillow; as Bones watched, the Russian sighed and snuggled harder into his sleeve, hands curled to his mouth like a child.
"And how old are you?" Bones rumbled, without malice.
Without opening his eyes, Chekhov mumbled, "Seventeen and a half, daragaya. Pochemu?"
Bones ruffled his hair, because its wasn't like anyone was looking. On the other side of Chekhov, Sulu was still asleep and drooling. He gave an irritated little huff as the volume of Jim and Spock's argument increased.
There was a sudden protesting yelp from Jim, and a few whimpered curses. Scotty's choking-cattle snore stalled out with a guttural, "Hhhwhazzat?" Bones carefully propped himself up on an elbow and was treated to the bizarre sight of an utterly stone-faced Spock carrying his pathetically whining captain princess-style out the door.
For a few blessed moments, silence reigned.
Then, "But where has ma booze all gone?"
Summoning heroic strength from unknown reserves, Bones raised a booted foot and kicked the engineering officer squarely in the ass.
Author Note:
The real first chapter!