(Untitled)

[koshiba_tetsuta]

I don't really think that I actually care about death. At this point, it wouldn't matter to me if I even died tomorrow. But at the same time, I'm not going to go seek death out and kill myself. I already feel like I've felt death so many times in my life. I've felt like I died, died inside, felt physical pain. Nothing can be worse than dying over

Comments

[koshiba_tetsuta]

I've met people who remember a past life. I've known of people that would remember really weird little details of the past that didn't even appear in history. So I guess thats the reason I don't doubt it. They have things such as past life therapy and I've seen people that would be like really scared of something that was based on a reason they died before. I'm not saying to "blame" anything on anything. Since well, it's the same as blaming things in this life, of the past.

If love was just a combination of weird little chemical things, all the pain I felt was stupid and meant nothing. I don't like the whole chemical thing really and maybe that because I'm really fucking annoyed by the chemical imbalance bipolar that makes me feel horrible shit for no reason at all. And staying with a person that treats you like shit, wanting to be with someone despite them being a bitch or an asshole, all the result of some silly little chemicals? I don't like to think that way. Because then for me, it's all for nothing.

I've seen auras and I believe every living thing has an aura and an energy. =x

Well, not everyone has experienced things I guess. I have, my mom has and alot of other people I've talked to have but I'm sure it's not the same for everyone. I remember talking to one of my mom's dates she brought home one night and as usual, we got on the kind of subject. He told me something he experienced when he was young also that had to do with his best friend dying. And of course, not EVERYTHING isn't just not imagination.

I'm going to make a blog site thing for me to type in instead of my Live journal. =P Live journal is really annoying to me so I thought I'd just get my own site. Tim offered to help me out too so yeah.

[acerob1]

Past life therapy uses hypnosis, right? Hypnosis has never been shown empirically to actually uncover memories. The idea of repressed memories is actually entirely theoretical, and the majority of memories that were uncovered through hypnosis and were then checked for accuracy were distorted, false, inaccurate, et cetera. It's generally the therapist that's creating the memories by guiding the patient, who is usually someone that believes in hypnosis and in past lives and is likely to put things in that context by themselves anyway.
Little details that don't appear in history aren't things that appear in history, and could be false, or are untestable anyway.
I could be wrong, I don't know for sure, but I don't believe in it.

I know you didn't say to blame anything on anything, but it sounded to me like you were getting ready to justify the way you feel now by saying something horrible must have happened to you in a past life. And I know that believing that really messed me up pretty well.

I don't think chemicals are silly. And I believe that meaning can be created out of meaningless things because humans are capable of creating meaning. I guess that's the difference. To me, the fact that you get really up or really down based on chemicals isn't silly or meaningless. When you're depressed, I wouldn't just say "Oh, it's those silly little chemicals again." I don't like hearing that you're feeling depressed, even if it is caused by a chemical imbalance. Depression is depression, no matter what causes it, chemical or spiritual.

I've never seen auras. I tried to learn how to once, but every method I found for teaching yourself to read auras used some trick with making your eyes unfocus or do other crazy things that only makes it -look- like everything has an aura. I used to be very empathic, and exceptionally good at identifying how people felt even when they weren't displaying it in conventional ways, but I've never seen that in the form of an aura. That just means that it's outside of my experience, though. I don't believe in it, but I guess it's a possibility. I've never heard of people who haven't heard of auras seeing them, though.

But... but... That means that you wouldn't show up on my friends page! I'm so lazy... I might not follow your blog.

[koshiba_tetsuta]

Eh, people will believe what they believe. =p

Oh. The only thing that had anything to do with the way I'm feeling now is the first entry. Which basically had to do with Ryan. =p This entire entry was just random things that I was thinking a little bit ago. I say alot of times that I must have done something so horrible in a past life or something. Because it SHOULD be that you do something bad, karma should kick you in the ass. But too many great people have absolute horrible shit happen to them and die a pitiful suffering existance and then you see horrible sick fucks having just great things keep happening to them.

I don't mean that chemicals are silly. I just don't want to think like that and I don't. My bipolar pisses me off though it's up down, up down up down etc etc for no reason at all. Plus I do/say mean horrible shit without meaning to and I lose control, things like that. Plus if love is chemicals maybe it could be "corrected" like bipolar, put a person on meds for "love sickness" ? =p

Oh well. LJ sucks though and I don't want to pay for it just to possible improve it some. Plus there are people like Ryan on my "friends of" page that I just want to delete but I can't. =/ Plus with my own site, I can do more than just a blog and I can IP block people and stuff. ^_^ More useful.

Oh! Yeah, I got it. Thanks. XD Sorry I hadn't said anything before. O.o; Just kinda slipped my mind with all the shit going on recently. x_x

[atomic645]

bah. yea. i had the same problems with LJ, when I broke up with my ex. Eventually, I begged her to take me off her "friend's of" thing, because I almost left LJ because of it. I hope you don't leave LJ entirely, though. ;_;

[koshiba_tetsuta]

I'm going to keep my LJ to read people's entries. But I'm not leaving LJ because of that. =P I just thought it'd be nice to have my own little site thing.

[acerob1]

True, true. ^^;

Hopefully they'll add a feature where you can force people off of your list. I have a few on mine that just aren't going away. *stabs them* And one of them would probably take me off if I asked him to, but then he'd remember that LJ exists, and I don't really want that to happen. That would be my brother. His posts frightened me. I really don't want more posts to exist.
Paying for LJ doesn't really improve it all that much. It does help a little, but yeah...

I understand... I just hope the cookies helped you feel a little better. Cookies are supposed to cure everything! Except diabetes. Cookies are bad for that. But you're welcome. ^_^ I hope you enjoy them. And write back! Because then we could be crazy penpals. I'm assuming we wouldn't be normal penpals, because one of us is me.