Weather God Prayers
Hark-en you, filthy masses, and pray with me to the all mighty weather gods.
All powerful 'winds of change'... Send some warm weather that does not have white stuff attached to it. No longer does my snow blower wish to be used like a ten dollar whore. No longer does my back wish to break from thine shoveling. No longer does thin nose wish to be 'nipped' at by 'the Jack', nor my car yell at me for the strain on it's motor. No longer do I wish to hang up children's mitts to dry, nor mop salty floors un-courteous foot-prints. I beseech you, all power Weather Dude, make it fucking stop.
All powerful 'winds of change'... Send some warm weather that does not have white stuff attached to it. No longer does my snow blower wish to be used like a ten dollar whore. No longer does my back wish to break from thine shoveling. No longer does thin nose wish to be 'nipped' at by 'the Jack', nor my car yell at me for the strain on it's motor. No longer do I wish to hang up children's mitts to dry, nor mop salty floors un-courteous foot-prints. I beseech you, all power Weather Dude, make it fucking stop.