(no subject)
I've got alot of other things on my mind. I really have fallen in love with this guy. I never did meet him in person until two months after we started talking on the phone and online.
I fell in love with his voice. The simple things in life is what means the most in the very end. The first date we had I nearly ran away but decided why not try aways? i mean he was there why shouldn't I just walk up there and go through it. I was certainly shocked at all his hair was gray/grey?? and that it was more gone than there. After a few weeks, I got used to it and acutally found it kinda' cute. I listed all those things that I love about him and I have no doubt I'd love to spend the rest of my life with him. But I've felt like that before with other guys but eventually one day I did something to Seth and that ruined it all. Yah it was like this: I don't ever want to spend the rest of my life with that guy.... Ouch Anyways no i have no doubt in my own mind that if given the opportunity, I'd spend the rest of my life with him. Even with all the problems and flaws we both have, if he got down on one knee and pulled out a box with a ring in it, I'd say yes, there would be no hesitation. None of this "I'll think about it" come on, the man just spent like 3 months salary on one small ring!!!
But you know I am ready if it comes down to it, to say goodbye and get my stuff from him that I loaned or left at his apartment. I'll just do that tonight and say hey can I meet you over by the mall and bring my scanner/printer and anything else I left there. I think that's what I'll do. I feel no peace in any decision I have now just really sad thats all and I don't want to do anything that will make it worse or that possibly he changed his mind.
~Jen