(no subject)
I know that I've said that John was the most wonderful guy for me to ever meet. We've hit a block. He wants to break up but as well he believes he could be really wrong and be missing out on what there is for him. He's lately focused on the negative things and wants a break up. However I am as usual confussed and very upset. I'm at work currently and not sure how I should feel. I'm praying for God to show me that this is the right choice for us, or that it's all wrong and we should just move on. It's been only three months and we're still trying to find out about each other. I've had to come out of my box alot in this relationship for even meeting him. I'm not really much of a new relationship person but there were small things that I noticed and that I wanted to stay together.
I got upset one night and wrote down all the things that bothered me about him and the things that I loved about him. Of course I had this list of all the things I didn't like about him. I kept it and then my mom suggested that I trash it in case I forgot and he came over. But last night I stayed up a little bit too late but just enough to sort of calm down and write things that I liked about him. This is because on Friday afternoon we're going to get together and write down five things we dis/like about each other. I think I could surpass the liek by like 35. There are about 40 things that I wrote down last night that I like about him. I think one of the funniest things is the way his head smells. He's balding a bit on the top and there isn't much there and it's going back to the smooth scalp thing that everyone had when they were a baby if they were born with no hair.
I just realized why I want to fight this so much but at the same time I'm ready to give up if there is no hope or that he just can't seem to bring himself to this. There is no chance for a friendship at all. I want all or nothing. I guess so I don't feel like I'm missing out on something that I could have or be reminded how it didn't work out between us. I think thats what bothers me the most.
When I listed all the things out, the good things, which are the harded things to list out, I fell in love with him all over again. My stomach doesn't feel really good and I don't feel so good right now. My stomach feels like it's all in nots and I am a bit too warm and I feel a bit sick. So never the less, I just want to go back home later today and go to sleep. My head hurts from crying last night and I can't really deal with my stomach. I just want to go back to sleep.
I do feel that if he leaves it'll be a bit more of an interesting treck for me to find that right guy. There were some things that God has showed em that makes it harder for me to fight for this. But all I can do is pray that God change the heart oft he one who needs it. I'm saying that I wnant his heart to change but even possibly for mine to change.
I guess that even in his flaws he's wonderful to me. I've never wanted to just walk into a boyfriend's house and fold his laundry or want to do his dishes with him. I've never felt more comfortable being with antoher than this. No matter how tacky he dresses sometimes or how particular he was about buying his couch, or how gray or how much he doesn't have any hair, I want it all.
So I guess that tomorrow when we get together for this little "choose five things that are good and bad" that I may not write down anything bad, and just leave it there... Like I take it all, but what is more important for me, that I could take it all.
~Jen
I got upset one night and wrote down all the things that bothered me about him and the things that I loved about him. Of course I had this list of all the things I didn't like about him. I kept it and then my mom suggested that I trash it in case I forgot and he came over. But last night I stayed up a little bit too late but just enough to sort of calm down and write things that I liked about him. This is because on Friday afternoon we're going to get together and write down five things we dis/like about each other. I think I could surpass the liek by like 35. There are about 40 things that I wrote down last night that I like about him. I think one of the funniest things is the way his head smells. He's balding a bit on the top and there isn't much there and it's going back to the smooth scalp thing that everyone had when they were a baby if they were born with no hair.
I just realized why I want to fight this so much but at the same time I'm ready to give up if there is no hope or that he just can't seem to bring himself to this. There is no chance for a friendship at all. I want all or nothing. I guess so I don't feel like I'm missing out on something that I could have or be reminded how it didn't work out between us. I think thats what bothers me the most.
When I listed all the things out, the good things, which are the harded things to list out, I fell in love with him all over again. My stomach doesn't feel really good and I don't feel so good right now. My stomach feels like it's all in nots and I am a bit too warm and I feel a bit sick. So never the less, I just want to go back home later today and go to sleep. My head hurts from crying last night and I can't really deal with my stomach. I just want to go back to sleep.
I do feel that if he leaves it'll be a bit more of an interesting treck for me to find that right guy. There were some things that God has showed em that makes it harder for me to fight for this. But all I can do is pray that God change the heart oft he one who needs it. I'm saying that I wnant his heart to change but even possibly for mine to change.
I guess that even in his flaws he's wonderful to me. I've never wanted to just walk into a boyfriend's house and fold his laundry or want to do his dishes with him. I've never felt more comfortable being with antoher than this. No matter how tacky he dresses sometimes or how particular he was about buying his couch, or how gray or how much he doesn't have any hair, I want it all.
So I guess that tomorrow when we get together for this little "choose five things that are good and bad" that I may not write down anything bad, and just leave it there... Like I take it all, but what is more important for me, that I could take it all.
~Jen