Love or Lust?
"Your eyes are as deep, as the sky is vast."
Should I believe it? Did he mean it?
I want with my whole heart to believe it. I want him to have meant it. I think he meant it very much.
This weekend was great. Seeing the Holt's(mostly Benj)was insane. I don't know how else to describe it. Friday we were sitting across the stadium from each other but I could feel his eyes upon me. So many times I would look over only to find him staring not at the speaker, but at me. You can't imagine how great that made me feel. Well, maybe a few of you can. When Benj and I weren't together, we were on the phone. Prior to this weekend(Tuesday-Thusday), we talked to each other until we fell asleep. I woke up Friday morning with the phone still open, I suppose he woke up before me and had hung up. Saturday we went to their(the Holt's house). They just moved in to a house, so there's only his amp sitting in his room. We spent probably 2 hours in his room in silence, except for the songs he would randomly play and our own laughter. It was wonderful. I felt so close to him at that point in time. The beautiful silence was ruined by the footsteps of his dad coming upstairs yelling: "You two better not be fucking under my roof..." Laughter exploded all through the house as the next line came: "...for God sake's GO OUTSIDE!" It was hilarious.
The rest of the weekend went the same, flirting constantly, finding ways to inadvertantly(big word of the day) touch each other.
I'm not going to go on to tell you every thing that happend this weekend, because: 1)it would bore you because him doing stupid cute stuff to try and impress me is meaningful to me and not to anyone who will read this; 2)and some of you will hear about it from me anyway.
I'm seeing him again tonight, the Muny, "Singin' in the Rain"(how proper considering its fucking raining elephants and hippopotanus'). It should be fun. It always is when I'm with him. Until next time....
"My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me, so won't you will me, so I'll die happy? My heart is yours to fill or burst, to break or bury, or wear as jewelery; whichever you prefer."
I hope he doesn't break my heart, for who will be there to catch me?