Missing the Thrill

[kookbyshorts]

Ha! Worked out and did situps and am now all showered and happy. Also going to make a little green tonite by giving a massage. yaaay for endorphins and $$$. Also I havent kissed anyone in weeks and its starting to become a problem. Ayyyyyiiiieee. This is why I need to settle down, so I dont keep running into these obnoxious obstacles. But then again, I dont want to "settle" for something Im not really that into. But am I too picky? I've only truly really let myself like someone twice, ever. I mean, sure I've had crushes, but only ever twice have I felt that truly giddy-wonderful-exposed-terrifying feeling of knowing that Im gone and not being able to come back. There are drawbacks, of course, like getting slammed. Or just constantly being horrified at how out-of-control you are. Its a freefall, and I miss the thrill. I want the intensity agian, even if I do get shot down. (Or I say that now, wait until next time I'm curled in the fetal position crying because am a total reject and loser.)
Hmmmm. But for now I waaaant it. Why cant I have it? Because Im a bloodless vampire. I dont even have crush right now. Chuh, how lame is thaaat? I mean, I have a baby crush, but so not anything thats going to happen. Lamo. Guess its time to call up my Floozy in Crime and hit the town.