Deidara and Itachi's Excellent Hangover

Mar 04, 2008 16:25

Who: Itachi, Deidara
When: Tuesday morning following their excellent adventure
What: Their excellent shitfaced adventure ended with them in a rather compromising position- and now they woke up. Do the math.
Where: Deidara's apartment
Warnings: Hangovers, vomit, swearing, lots of vomit and copious use of the word "faggot" (51 to be exact), as well as a completely random mention of cake that was entirely Skype's fault.
AIM or LJ? AIM. We be kickin' it old school, yo.
Open? It is finished.

art of exploding: Deidara awoke to an unfamilar but somehow comfortable weight sprawled all over him as well as the familiar promises of what was going to be the hangover of the century. "Nnn..." he tried to shift around abit, to find that most of his limbs were kind of pressed down unto the bed. Opening his eyes and blinking blearily, it didn't take him that long to realize there was someone else there. Okay, someone was on him. And... was that Itachi? Yes, it was- but was he blonde? Yes, he was. ...heh, he looked like such a fag when he was blonde. Whatever. Far too tired and bleary to register that Itachi on his bed was something to be pissed off about, he closed his eyes again. Why'd he wake up so fast? He was still tired.
sarbito: Itachi opened his eyes, overcome by a subtle nausea that got worse every second he remained awake. He felt the person under him shifting. Hey- person under him? That wasn't normal. And where was he anyway? This wasn't his bedroom. Looking down, he realized it was... Deidara. At least, he thought it was Deidara. Something was wrong with his hair. It wasn't the right color. It look kind of like... his hair, actually. Huh. Imagine that. So, judging by all of this... this was a dream, right? It had to be. Itachi took a moment to sit in silent horror, trying to force himself to wake up.
art of exploding: The constant headache and nauseating feeling welling from his gut was intensifying with every passing second, and Deidara found he couldn't quite fall asleep. He opened his eyes and tried to get up- but again, of course, he found his body to be weighed down against the matress. "Damnit, 'Tachi," he mummured. "Get the hell off me, un..." ...wait a minute. "Itachi? ...ITACHI, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING GET OFF ME NOW YOU FUCKING FAGGOT!"
sarbito: Well, Itachi was awake NOW. And certain that this wasn't a dream. "HEY FUCK YOU FAGGOT! I don't even know how I got here! You must've... drugged me or something!" He clammored out of bed, then found that standing up did not help his nausea go away. In fact... "Ugh. Where's the bathroom...?"
art of exploding: He pretty much leapt upright the moment he could and instantly started swearing his mouth off. "You fucking bastard, what the hell are you doing here- you must've drugged me- and what is with that hair anyway, you fag?" He staggered and collapsed against the wall, and shook his head furiously- which resulted in an intensified headache. God, ow- what did Itachi do to him? "No way, bitch, my house, un... I'm going in first." He stumbled out of the room and to the bathroom across the hall, making use of any and all furniture as support on the way.
sarbito: He stumbled after Deidara, quite intent on continuing their conversation. "Why would I drug you and take you back to your own house, you retarded faggot?! And what do you mean, my hair?! What's wrong with your h---" Then Itachi saw it. His hair in his peripheral vision. It... was blonde. And frizzing from the chemical havoc that had been wreaked upon it. He made a sound like a scream had gotten caught in his throat. "My--- hair... WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR?!?!?!" This was, of course, Deidara's fault. Just thinking of his hair on top of everything else.... he shoved Deidara out of the way to pay his own dues to the porcelain god.
art of exploding: "Fuck off," he declared, staggering his way forward and trying to shove Itachi out of the way again. "Maybe you locked yourself out of your apartment like a fucking idiot or something- and why the hell would I drug you?" He sniggered for a moment when he heard Itachi explode over the condition of his hair, and glanced up- but he caught sight of his own reflection in the mirror. His hair. His once beautifully blonde hair... was now black. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT DID I DO- WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY HAIR- fucking hell-" he lurched forward towards the basin, griping the sink to balance himself and holding on for dear life.
sarbito: After emptying the contents of his stomach, he raises his head from to toilet to say "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOUR HAIR! Why would I want to---" Itachi's protests were cut short by another colorful parade of vomit. You know, maybe Deidara was right about something. He didn't have his keys on him. Maybe that faggot had hid his keys to get him to spend the night and seduce him.... wow. What a faggot. "I'm LEAVING!"
art of exploding: "Then fucking LEAVE!" God, that bastard... urgh. Deidara threw up yet again... what the hell did Itachi do? Drug? Poison? Force-feed booze until his liver was crying for dear mercy? Well it fucking felt like a hangover... damnit. He leaned forward again- and black hair fell into face. God, his hair was black- what kind of shit was this? Did Itachi have some kind of a hair-colour trading fetish or some shit? Man, that was fucked up. So Itachi had drugged him and for some reason ended up in his own apartment room- and he did not want to think about what could have happened. He just wanted him out of the house. Now.
sarbito: Itachi rose from the toilet, and started to make his way to the door when he realized two things: a) the light from the window was seriously assaulting his eyes, and b) walking was the opposite of what he wanted to be doing at that moment. He made it to the adjacent kitchen area, where he could safely throw up in the sink. In between heaving he muttered "Nevermind."
art of exploding: Deidara couldn't exactly see Itachi from where he was, and he assumed that the bastard had left the house- he wasn't about to go check, oh no, he wasn't going to leave the sink for some time- and moving? Screw moving. He could just live here- he never wanted to move again. He muttered incomprehensible sentences between each multicoloured yawn, mostly random swear words and things about how Itachi was a faggot. After awhile he turned around for abit to lean against the sink while having access to the toilet, and saw Itachi leaning over the kitchen sink. "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO FUCK OFF? Damnit, un, get the hell away from the kit-" Urgh.
sarbito: "I'm--" Wait for it. "--working on it. FUCK YOU!" Itachi leaned over the sink to wretch some more. Feeling like he was done--- for the moment, anyway, he laid down on the kitchen floor, pressing his face against the tile. Soooo cold... Itachi closed his eyes and started to drift off. Maybe that faggot would go away. Nevermind the fact that it was his own house.
art of exploding: Deidara on the other hand wasn't quite done yet. "YOU'D LIKE THAT, HN, FAGGOT- ugh..." and again a rain of vomit chunks fell into the toilet. He turned around again, not quite done with yelling at Itachi, and saw him sprawled across the floor. "What the fu- DON'T YOU FALL ASLEEP YOU FUCKING FAGGOT, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!" And he turned around to vomit. Again.
sarbito: Deidara's shrill voice offended Itachi's ears. Why was he still here? Couldn't he see Itachi was trying to sleep? Whatever. He sat up lazily, and shot a look of... something, possibly something that was supposed to be intimidating, towards that bathroom door. "Shut up or I'll..." He looked around the apartment. What could he do? Then he saw it. Bingo. "... I'll kill your faggot bird."
art of exploding: That look didn't come across as intimidating at all. Infact, it came across as... okay, whatever, ignoring that now. Despite overwhelming nausea still swimming around in his gut there apparently wasn't anything left to vomit, and he just wanted to collapse on the floor- but no, he needed to go over there and get Itachi out of his house. Did he just threaten to kill that damn bird? "Go ahead, faggot!" He didn't know why he didn't do it himself. Honestly. Fucking parrot.
sarbito: Itachi frowned. Kind of. Okay, so that wasn't going to work. Time for a new plan. "I'll break your faggot art... shit!" He moved back to lean against the fridge. He didn't know exactly HOW he'd break Deidara's art, seeing how most of it was meant to be broken. But... whatever. He'd think it out later.
art of exploding: He wasn't going to give in to any of that. No way. That fucking bird had woken up and was starting to squawk and flap about in her cage- Tobi always kept the door loose, she'd better not get out, Deidara was in no mmod for that now. "You don't even know where it is, un..." Faggot. If that bastard did anything to his art... he staggered out the bathroom, leaning against the wall.
sarbito: "I'll find it," Itachi replied, running a hand through his- ugh, totally destroyed- hair and wiping some sweat off of his face. "You only live in a two bedroom apartment. It's not fucking HARD..." At Loli's squawking, his expression became a grimace. Maybe he'd kill the bird anyway.
art of exploding: Loli was just repeating "hello, hello" over and over again and that infernal noise was making his head hurt more than it already did. He would kill that damn thing now- if he could just get to the cage... but first, Itachi. "You can barely walk, faggot... hn." He staggered forward again, shooting Itachi what he hoped was a threatening glare. ...seriously though, if Itachi found his art... some of it might blow up in the guy's face. Heh, that might be worth it.
sarbito: Itachi muttered what sounded like a 'fuck you' while rising to his feet. He walked at a wavering gait, at first looking around for Deidara's art... but then he saw the couch. Fuck that. He made his way to the couch and then flung himself across it. "I'll leave innaminute."
art of exploding: Hey- damnit! That was his couch. He walked towards it- or tried to, more like, catching himself on all the furniture on the way- and found that he had no damn energy to shove Itachi off it and out the door. Damnit. He mummured something that also sounded suspiciously like "fuck you"- thank God that couch set had come with a nice chair. He collapsed onto it- and saw that Loli had gotten out of the cage, and was perched on the back of the couch. Fucking bird...
sarbito: Itachi was trying to drift off to sleep again, when he realized the bird was... was that... what the hell. "Make it stop singing..." he sighed under his breath. It even sounded like that stupid pina colada song.
art of exploding: ...wait. That song. It was the stupid Pina Colada song. What the hell, where had the bird learned it? And suddenly he remembered something. He had been singing it. Not too long ago. There were people there... there was Itachi. Itachi. ...he had been singing this fucking song with Itachi. Oh god. Deidara couldn't quite remember how or why... but Itachi had picked the song. Yes he had. Fag. Ughh. "Damnit, 'Tachi, y' fag... why'd you pick that damn song... fucking bird, shut the hell up!"
sarbito: Itachi grabbed the pillow from under his head and tossed iit half-heartedly towards the bird. It misses, but still caused Loli to fly to the other the other end of the room. And sing from there. The memories of the night before were coming back in a painful blur. "I dunno... I couldn't read the fuckin' titles..."
art of exploding: "You couldn't even read the words, hn..." he mummured- he grabbed his head with his hand and massaged his forehead. Ow... and not like that singing made it any better. The bird was too damn far away to hit now, and Deidara was far too smashed to even consider getting up. he felt the need to add an insult to his statement. "...you blind faggot." So he did.
sarbito: "Yeah, well...." Itachi trailed off, forgetting was offensive rebuttal he was going to throw at Deidara. It was the fucking bird's fault. "... you're a blind faggot too." That'd work.
art of exploding: "...un." He couldn't even be bothered to think of a defense- Itachi hadn't, anyway. Blind faggot. He briefly considered throwing the pillow behind him at Itachi- but nah, it'd take too much effort... and it was soft. "Damn... what the fuck happened?"
sarbito: Itachi shook his head slightly. As much as he could with his face pressed against the couch. "I dunno... we... ended up at a bar...?" He held up a clump of his hair in his hand "And did this at some point. And... uh... drank too much. I guess."
art of exploding: "No shit," Deidara muttered, burying his face into the pillow. Man, how much did they drink? And how did they end up going out in the first place? Most of the time whenever he took his fill of booze he'd just wander around the apartment in a drunken daze, not go out with some random faggot. They... dyed their hair and went to a bar. That much he could remember. "Hn... why the hell did we... why did we go out in the first place? Ugh."
sarbito: "I don't know... it was your idea." Itachi couldn't remember if it actually was his idea or not, but he sure as hell wasn't taking responsibility for it.
art of exploding: "No it wasn't, hn." Deidara tried to kick Itachi from where he was, but it probably came off more as nudging him in the head with his foot. Ugh. "Y'know what? ...I want some cake."
sarbito: Itachi let him nudge him in the head with his foot. "So go to the store and get some cake, y' goddamn faggot." He then buried his face in the sofa.
art of exploding: "Fuck you, hn," Deidara mumbled. Somehow his head didn't hurt as much anymore- did it stop singing? Yes, it did. And now it was saying something else altogether, that he decided was worth keeping the bird around.

" 'Tachi is a fag! 'Tachi is a fag!"
sarbito: Itachi groaned. God that bird has horrible. He was going to kill it. Kill it so badly. But instead, he decided to sleep. And kill the bird later.
art of exploding: Deidara sniggered slightly. The bird did have some use, after all. Heh. He tried to kick Itachi again- but apparently the guy had fallen asleep. Whatever. He was tired anyway. He felt the need to continue insulting him, but he decided the bird would do that. Deidara buried his head back into the pillow and eventually drifted asleep to the wonderful sounds of a bird repeatedly declaring Itachi's fag status.

art of exploding: OMG TEH END

itachi, deidara

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