Deidara and Itachi's Excellent Adventure
Who: Deidara and Itachi
When: Monday night, immediately following the accompanying chat.
What: Itachi and Deidara taking themselves on a shitfaced adventure, leading to nowhere and nothing good. :P And somehow without actually paying for anything.
Where: Apartment to the street to hair salon to skeevy gay bar and back again!
Warnings: They're both... incredibly gay. The gay bar is so campy. And they both consume so much alcohol is miraculous that the log didn't end with "And then they died of alcohol poisoning."
AIM or LJ? AIM!
Open? No ho, this shit is done.
sarbito: Itachi walked down the stairs. When I say walked down the stairs, what I really mean is he basically threw himself down the stairs and clung to the railing for dear life. Why god, why was this apartment building without an elevator? At the bottom of the stairs, he tried to steady himself and regain his balance. The bright light of the lobby hurt his eyes, so he protectively held his hand over them while looking around for Deidara. "Deidarrraaa? Are you around?" His words were slurred.
art of exploding: Deidara's apartment, fortunately, had an elevator- as well as multiple people in it giving him odd looks and squeezing themselves into the opposite corner. He gave them all the finger- at least he thought he did, he wasn't too sure if it was the right finger- and staggered out the lift on the wrong floor. He stumbled down the stairs- thank god Itachi's apartment was so nearby- and into the lobby. His hair was a mess, sticking out at odd angles, and he squinted through the strands in his face upon hearing his name being called. "'Tachi? That you, hn?" he called out in a drunken slurr, staggering forward clumsily. Why was the floor spinning?
sarbito: Upon seeing Deidara--- at least, what he thought looked like Deidara, how many drunk blondes who knew his name could there possibly be?, Itachi stumbled towards Deidara and threw his arm around his shoulders, like they were old pals. He also shifted most of his weight onto Deidara, which was probably not the best of ideas. "Yeah, 's me. Are ya ready t' go get some glasseses?" he asked, the smell of alcohol emanating from his breath.
art of exploding: Deidara buckled slightly under the sudden added weight, stumbling backwards to support himself against a nearby pillar. "You're heavy," he giggled, throwing his own arm around Itachi's shoulders. With a deep breath he took in the smell of Itachi's drunken breath, stumbling slightly in response- now adding his own breath to the mix. He could almost taste the vodka in the air around them- and reacted to this realization by sticking his tongue out. "Ho' yeah... glaasses..." he muttered. "Glasseses!" he declared, his face brightening. "Yeah, les get some!" He took an awkward step forward and leaned his weight back onto Itachi. Where were they going again? To buy glasses. ...where was that? Hic.
sarbito: Itachi shook his head, and started, dear god, was that giggling? Yes, yes it was. "No'm not. You're jus' weakish." His hair fell in his face, obscuring his both drunken and almost legally blind vision. He tried to move the hair out of the way, but mostly just succeeded in smacking himself in the face. ""Do you... uh.. do y'know where the glasseses shop is...?" Itachi was sure it was... somewhere. Somewhere in Japan.
art of exploding: Hehe. Itachi smacked himself. With his hair. Deidara couldn't help but giggle again- anyone who even vaguely knew the two of them would have been completely horrified at the sight. And also would have stopped to take pictures for blackmail material. He scoffed indignantly on hearing Itachi's question- or at least as indignantly as he could, blind drunk as he was. He had no idea where it was, but he wasn't about to admit it to Itachi. "Caus' I do, un," he said. "It's..." he looked around them, blinking blearily, squinting to see through the drunken fog with his good eye. Somehow the right side of the street looked clearer- logically, he thought, the clearer side should sell glasses. Right? Right. "Thattaway." He staggered forward, nearly tripping over his foot but catching himself around Itachi's shoulder.
sarbito: Itachi staggered forward with Deidara, totally not expecting to be used as a support rail. He squinted towards the right, as if squinting hard enough would make it clearer. "I dunno... that sidea th' street keeps movin'..." Despite saying this, he moved forward anyway. First Itachi took a moment to struggle struggle with the lobby door--- push and pull were apparently not the same thing. After solving the mystery of the door and dragging Deidara out with him, he started walking in the complete opposite of a straight line down the street. It would be amazing luck if they didn't veer off into the road and get hit by a passing car.
art of exploding: Hn, stupid door. Deidara limped forward- somehow his right foot felt numb- giving what he thought was an intimidating glare to a passerby on the street. From here, the other side of the street was clearer, but he wasn't about to admit he was wrong. "Shuddup, " he said, in a drawn-out drunken slur. He didn't quite notice that they were meandering around the road- he thought he was walking forward, and the buildings in the distance were kind of getting closer, as much as he could see. He constantly found himself using Itachi as a support, bumping their heads together multiple times as he staggered- somehow his feet couldn't seem to find proper fotting on the ground. How could it? The damn ground kept on moving... it was the ground's fault."You're like... blind, anyway. Hn." Hehe. That was a good one.
sarbito: "Stop hittin' me wit' your head," Itachi muttered in a slur. "I can see fine." Even in Itachi's drunken stupor, he was able to deny any and everything. It was quite the talent. At the end of the block, he halted to a stop and pointed at a store across the street. "'s that it...?" It was, in fact, a hair salon, and not anywhere remotely close to the actual eyewear shop. He he thought he saw a face painted in the window. A face... with eyes. That had to mean something, right?
art of exploding: The face painted onto the store display looked completely fuzzy to Deidara- the eyes were blurry... the person had blurry eyes. Like they did. "No you can't, un," he argued- it was pretty much reflex, counter everything Itachi tries so hard to deny. "Yeh... has t'be," he mummured, nodding to himself and feeling quite pleased. Of course he'd remembered where the store was. Not like that idiot Itachi. He staggered towards it, completely ignoring the rather important problem of actually crossing the street when they could barely walk in a straight line. He managed to vaguely make out the words "SALON" in bright neon above the store door, but he figured it was a typo. Or something. Yeah.
sarbito: A car slammed on the brakes and blared the horn as Deidara made it out onto the street. Itachi yanked him back, yelling "You goddamn idiot! Look what ya did! You're gonna get killed!" The booze in his system had given him an usual amount of concern. Under normal circumstance, he probably would've watched Deidara stagger across the street, and then chuckle as he went bouncing off someone's windshield. Tonight, however, he was repeatedly slamming the pedestrian crossing button for the both of them. That is, until it broke. When the blur across the street changed from orange to green, Itachi dragged Deidara across the street at a lazy, meandering pace, not letting up on his grip of the blonde man's forearm.
art of exploding: He blinked blearily as he was tugged backwards, staring at the car as it drove on past them. "Whatever. Thanks, hn." Did he just thank Itachi? Why yes, he did- then again, Itachi just saved his life. He allowed Itachi to drag him across the street, acting pretty much like a dead weight and using his free hand to grab at Itachi's shoulders. When they got to the other side of the street, though, he dragged Itachi towards the store instead. "Lets go, un." There was no struggling with autmoatic doors, but there was plenty of staring from the people inside. He pulled Itachi with him over to the counter, where a rather bewildered woman looked quite uncertain as to what to do. "Hi," was all that Deidara announced, slamming his hand on the counter as though he had said something of importance.
sarbito: Itachi leaned over the counter, and, with what he thought look of seriousness and purpose that actually looked more like he was about to throw up, declared "We... want glasses. Showus'em."
art of exploding: "Yes, hn," Deidara agreed, trying to put on an intimidating expression that probably came across as the typical blank look of a drunken man.
The woman at the counter blinked, unsure of what to make of the situation- she would have turned them down, clearly drunk as they were, but somehow she felt like there would be some trouble if she did. Also... did they ask for glasses? "I'm... sorry, sir?" she asked politely, stepping backward slightly from the smell of alcohol-laden breath. "Ah... of course, sirs. But first, would you like anything done with your hair?"
sarbito: "Huh... 's there somethin' wrong wit' our hair, 'dara?" Itachi looked over at Deidara. Well... something was wrong with HIS hair, anyway. What the hell happened there? Did Deidara cut his hair with a lawnmower or what? But Itachi was convinced he had supermodel hair. All sleek and shiny and... in his face.
art of exploding: "I dun think so, 'Tachi," he mummured- he knew his hair was in perfect condition, but Itachi's was... weird. All greasy and lumped and apparently refusing to stay out of the guy's eyes. "You think thar's something wrong with our hair, lady?" He leaned forward, in an attempt to be threatening, although it hardly came off as such.
"Oh- no, no, nothing wrong with it," she corrected herself hurriedly- these men didn't look like people they should get on the wrong side of, at any rate. "I just meant- since you're here- maybe you'd like a haircut? A wash? Maybe dye it a new colour?" She hoped they would just say no and stagger on out of the store.
sarbito: Itachi tilted his head thoughtfully. "Huh... we could trade hair colors!" He banged his fist on the counter, like this was the best idea he'd ever had. Blondes were supposed to have more fun.
art of exploding: "That we could!" Deidara declared. He always thought Itachi's hair looked sleek and sexy, and somehow his hair just couldn't quite look that way. It had to do with the colour. It all made sense now.
These men really were blind drunk- but she was far too intimidated to refuse. "Ah, of course, sirs... our attendants will see to you." She gestured over to two free attendants- who instantly looked scared out of their minds.
sarbito: "Cool!" Itachi exclaimed, going over to the attendant he claimed as his own. He was even excited enough to slap said attendant on the back. The attendant looked like she wanted to cry.
art of exploding: Deidara walked over to the other attendant, and gave her a bright thumbs up. Clearly barely avoiding a fainting spell, she had him lie down on the chair and got to work- they needed their hair washed before anything could be done with it- and used surplus ammounts of shampoo to overpower the powerful drunken stench. It was some time later when Deidara found himself blinking blearily at the mirror in drunken stupor- it actually took him some time to realize that his hair was in fact, black. "Un," he muttered. He looked damn good.
sarbito: Itachi's hair, since he was going blonde, required bleaching. Lots of bleaching. At least Itachi was good at sitting still under the heating helmet, even though he seemed convinced it contained aliens trying to steal his brain. When the long ordeal was finally over (and it did take a long time, bleaching is an excruciatingly long process) he looked in the mirror, amazed. His hair was the same color as a nilla wafer. "Oooo.... " He held up a stand to the light, watching it shine.
art of exploding: Deidara staggered over, hiccuping slightly on his way, clapping a hand on Itachi's shoulder when he got there. Woah, Itachi's hair was... blonde. Very blonde. It looked weird. "Y' looked better before," he said matter-of-factly- as matter-of-factly as he could, with such a heavily drunken slur. He looked better with dark hair. At least it wasn't clumped on his face anymore. Somehow Itachi's hair looked very shiny- there was a certain sheen to it, under the light. "Ya hair's shiny," he said, reaching out and grabbing a strand. "Soft." Hehe. Itachi's hair was soft. The guy was such a fag.
sarbito: Itachi pouted. He was convinced that he was beautiful. Like that chick who slept with the president of America a long time ago. What was her name? Marylin Manson or something. "So did you." He jerked away from Deidara's hand, his drunkeness making his motion exaggerated. "Yours looks greasy." Like they dipped his head in shoe polish, he thought inwardly. Itachi reached out and similarly touched a strand of Deidara's hair. "But 'snot." He observed.
art of exploding: Deidara grabbed Itachi's hand and pushed it down, snorting. " 'Course it's not greasy, un," he said indignantly. "It's looks nice." He was quite convinced that it did look nice- maybe not better than it was before, but not worse either. Just a change. "Looks like your hair, hn," he commented. It looked alot like what Itachi's used to be- except longer, of course. Pausing to check himself in the mirror, started towards the door, dragging Itachi behind him by the hand. "Need vodka," he declared, forgetting entirely that leaving a store usually happened after you paid. Oh well.
sarbito: Itachi felt vaguely offended. "My hair'snot greasy!" Itachi stumbled over the doorway. "Mmmm vodka... where can we go t' get some?" He looked around, like vodka was going to magically fall out of the sky.
art of exploding: He looked around- and apparently Deidara's vodka senses were tingling, because he correctly identified a bar out of the row of shops down the street. "There," he announced, and stumbled on towards it, dragging Itachi behind him. What he failed to notice, of course, was that that it was a karaoke bar, identified thus by large neon letters hanging above the entrance. Pity they never got those glasses.
sarbito: Luckily, this time there were no cars coming, allowing them to run across the street in a drunken stupor freely. "Cool! You found it like... magic or somethin'. You're soooo smart, 'dara." Itachi slurred out. He had no idea what that neon sign was about--- maybe it said something like "Free Vodka"? That'd be nice. He stood in front of the building and fumbled with the door.
art of exploding: "Yes I am, un," he replied, sounding quite pleased himself. He watched as Itachi struggled with the door, then shoved him aside impatiently. "Damnit, 'Tachi. Let me..." he struggled as well, but eventually discovered that they were, in fact, supposed to pull the door. Oh. He pulled Itachi inside. "We need vodka!" he declared at large.
sarbito: "Yeah! Vodka!" He echoed. The other patrons seemed to ignore them, transfixed on someone singing a particularly horrendous rendition of Unbreak My Heart. As he looked around inside, Itachi realized that... there was a stage. And people were on it. Singing badly. This could only mean one thing. "Hey! Hey!" He tugged on Deidara's sleeve. "We're in a kara---karapoke--karaogee bar!"
art of exploding: He blinked. "Whazzat?" he mummured, turning around when he felt Itachi tugging at his sleeve- and he watched the people on stage for a moment, in drunken indifference, then shrugged and staggered on towards the bar. " Still a bar, un," he said. "Vodka." He paused when he got there, looking around- and suddenly realized something. "Hey- 'Tachi," he said, jabbing at Itachi's shoulders. "Wes surrounded by fags."
sarbito: "People, uh, singin' n' stuff." Itachi shrugged. He made his way to the counter and leaned against it, oblivious to a big burly man in leather checking out his ass behind him. "Haha, then ya must feel like you're at home.."
art of exploding: "Ya like it here, don't cha?" Deidara sniggered, pulling himself onto a barstool and demanding vodka from the man behind it. He turned back to Itachi, catching sight of the leather-clad man behind him, and shook his head sadly, a grin on his face. "You're so damn loose, faggot. Un. Letting some guy check out your ass. Heheh."
sarbito: Itachi furrowed his brow. "'sokay I guess. Ya like it more." Itachi slowly turned, saw the man leering at him, and staggered back, trying to use Deidara as a shield between him and his not so secret admirer. "Make 'im stop! 'm not gay!!!" He whined.
art of exploding: "You like it more, hn," Deidara argued back- laughing as Itachi retreated behind himself from the huge man. He sent the guy a what he thought was a sharp glare anyway- that'd be enough- and retrieved the just-delivered vodka, handing a glass to Itachi. " 'e likes you, hn. Maybe ya should go sing him a song or somethin'."
sarbito: Itachi winced. "Don't wanna sing a song wit' him." He downed the vodka, savoring the burn that traveled down his throat and the destruction of what remained of his liver. "But if you wanted to sing somethin' or somethin', it'd be okay..."
art of exploding: Deidara took a drink, looked at what remained of his liquor, and destroyed it in one shot. "Mm, vodka," he mummured, and demanded refills. Screw the fact that his wallet probably wasn't with him, they needed vodka. Deidara blinked at Itachi's comment, then shrugged. "Yeh, sure," he mummured with a slight hiccup. "Y' gotta pick a song, tho. Un."
sarbito: "Yeah okay." Itachi knew that he had a credit card in his jacket pocket. Maybe. Was this the right jacket? Did it have pockets? This and other helpful information currently escaped Itachi. He went over to look at the song selection, and was struck with a horrific realization. He couldn't read any of the song titles! Man, they really shouldn't have forgotten to get those glasses at that eyewear store/hair salon... with a sigh, he closed his eyes, let his finger find a selection, and then signed them up. How bad could it be? There were only so many songs in a karaoke bar. ... Right?
art of exploding: Deidara staggered up to him after a minute or so, and saw that Itachi had already signed them up. He squinted at the song title- he couldn't quite make out what it was. The first word began with an E, and there was a part in brackets that looked like it said "the pinata song". What the fuck, the pinata song? Did Itachi listen to faggy kids music or something? "Nice song, un," he muttered- it was intended to have sounded sarcastic, but it probably didn't come out that way. Whatever, if Itachi wanted to sing about rainbow-coloured donkeys with candy inside, then fine.
sarbito: Itachi shrugged, not wanting to admit he had no idea what he actually picked. He had more pride than that. "Yeah. Thanks. It's, uh, a good song." he crossed his arms. If it was a really gay song, he would be so ashamed. Hopefully they'd both forget this ever happened by morning. Hopefully.
art of exploding: So he really did like this song? Deidara frowned and squinted at it harder with his one good eye- and finally amanged to read it; Escape (The Pina Colada Song). ...wait, what? He recognized that title! That was some fucked up romance song about a couple that cheated on each other... with each other. Or something. What the hell was Itachi thinking? His eyes narrowed- of course, Itachi probably just thought he wouldn't dare to sing it. ""I'mma get s'more vodka first, un," he mummured. "Ya want some?" Well, he'd show him. Even if the song was faggy. Hn.
sarbito: Itachi gave a brief nod. "More vodka'd be great." He noticed Deidara's expression and was filled with dread. It WAS a faggy song, wasn't it? Oh man. He was never going to live this down. He definitely needed more vodka, that was for sure.
art of exploding: Deidara headed back to the bar, and ordered up vodka- lots of it. Hell, if he was even going to get through this, he needed to be way more drunk than he was at the moment, even if he was still staggering and the floor was made out of nauseating spinny lines. He downed his share quickly, waiting for Itachi to finish. "We'd be up soon, hn." He tried to stand up but found his knees buckling again. But damn, he needed more vodka.
sarbito: Itachi managed a thumbs up to Deidara before chugging his vodka. He chuckled. "Heheh... y' would be up inna gay bar." He was convinced he was pure comedic genius. If only their turn would come up already. And if only the creepy burly man would stop making puppy eyes at him.
art of exploding: Deidara pulled himself back onto the barstool and frowned- he was even more dizzy than before now, and he only vaguely recognized that Itachi had just insulted him. "No, y' are, hn," he muttered- he caught sight of the huge leather-clad man again, and sniggered slightly. Why was the table moving like that? It made it very difficult to hold on to. He looked back at Itachi- and his eyes wandered a little. He sniggered. "Ya damn are, un. Lookat that." He broke out into a small gigglefit.
sarbito: Itachi's face, already flushed from being intoxicated, turned more red. He reflexively put his hand over his goods. "Am not."
Just then, like a magical beacon from the gods, their names were called to go up. Itachi put his now empty vodka glass down, grabbed Deidara by the wrist, and started staggering towards the stage.
art of exploding: He was still giggling even as he was pulled onto the stage- he tried to stand when they got there, but failed, and threw an arm around Itachi for support. The crowd was looking up at them quite expectantly, and Deidara couldn't help but observe that they were all guys, mostly couples. Hehe, fags. They were introduced, the crowd cheered politely, and the music began to play- Deidara squinted at the screen during the intro. Even with his one good eye, he couldn't make out most of the lyrics- heh, Itachi was so screwed. He had heard the song more than a few times, it was a fucking earworm- he knew most of the lyrics. They should be the right ones. Should. Hn.
sarbito: As the music started, Itachi realized that at least he had heard this song a couple times before. It was a song he'd rather forget, but he remembered it. Which was good, because he sure as hell couldn't make out anything on the screen. He really should've considered that before signing them up for karaoke, but... oh well. Too late now. He let Deidara handle the first verse, planning to come in at the chorus. Wherever it was. When they started talking about the pina coladas. Hey, a pina colada wouldn't be half bad right now...
art of exploding: The first line came, and Deidara noticed at once that Itachi wasn't singing anything. He couldn't read the screen, could he? Hah! ...no, wait, it was a challenge. He had to sing the verse. Yes. He could kind of remember it, anyway, even if he started a line late and a drunken slur was still evident in his voice.
"We'd been together too long
like a worn-out recording
Of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleepin'
I read th' paper in bed
An' in the personal columns
There was this letter ah read..."
sarbito: Itachi started in on the chorus, amazingly off-key and slurring words like nobody's business.
" If y' like Piña Coladaaaaaas
And gettin' caught in the raiiiiiiin
If you're not into yogaaaa
If ya have halfa brain
If ya like makin' love at midniiiiiiiiight
In the dunes on th' Cape
Then I'm the love that ya looked foooor
Write t' meeeee and escape "
art of exploding: Deidara was vaguely aware of pitch, or at least that Itachi wasn't quite on it, and he was somewhat able to match his as they both sang the chorus. He stumbled a little as he leaned down to try and make out the words, none too familiar with the second verse.
"I didn' think about m' lady
I know that sounds kinda mean
But me and th' old lady
Have fallen into the same ol dull routine..."
He squinted- somehow he couldn't quite read past that. Itachi had better sing it. In the meanwhile, he settled for this.
"La la la la la la laaaa,
La la la la la laa..."
sarbito: Itachi froze, realizing Deidara expected him to finish the line. But... he had nothing. He froze. The second verse was different, too! It had something about champagne. Which was almost as good as a pina colada. He realized the rest of Deidara's verse had passed him by, so he picked back up on the chorus. The one with the champagne.
" Yeah I like pina coladas an' gettin' caught in the rain
I'm not much into health food, I'm into champagne
I gotta meet you by tomorrow n' cut through all this red tape
Come to a bar called O'Malleys where we'll plan to escape"
Itachi honestly had no idea how the rest of the song went. Or that it was so damn long. The part with the pina coladas needed to come back. It was easier to remember.
art of exploding: Deidara was quite aware that they had completely made fools of themselves, and was glad that there was no one in the audience he recognized. Most of his embarassment was numbed through the powers of drunken numbness, though, and at least Itachi knew the chorus, Besides, he was quite certain at least some of the crowd was singing along. Laughing at them, maybe, but whatever. He knew this verse well. It was the fucked up one.
"So I waited with high hopes
An' she walked in th' place
I knew her smile in an' instant
I knew the curve of 'er face
It was mah own lovely laaaady
And she said, "oh it's you!"
and then we laughed for a moment
And I said, "I never knew..."
One last chorus, and that was it. Somehow he belted it out like no ones business- and the crowd below appeared to be enjoying it. Fags.
"That you like pina colaaadaaaas...!"
sarbito: Itachi sang along with the chorus and its repeat, finally getting really into it. He did a little dance on the stage, mostly involving thrusting. The audience seemed to find it very attractive, judging by the thong or two that went flying his way. As the music faded out, he took a bow. Like he had just did the whole thing all by himself and didn't only sing the chorus. What an asshole.
art of exploding: Deidara did his own dance, mostly involving his hips, and got a thong to the face. He spun it on his finger for awhile, to a few whoops from the audience, and took his bow as the song ended- far too drunk to even bother realizing that Itachi was quite happy to take credit for singing more than just the chorus. Still staggering, he grabbed Itachi by the shoulder in an uncharacteristically friendly gesture, a bold grin on his face. He said only one word: "Vodka."
sarbito: Itachi's face lit up like the fourth of July, and he grabbed Deidara by the opposite shoulder, mirroring him. "Vodka! Although... y'know.... I kinda wanna Pina Colada now..."
art of exploding: "Then we'll get some, hn," Deidara declared, grabbing Itachi's forearm and dragging him off the stage towards the bar. Apparently a few mysterious strangers within the audience had ordered up a pina colada for them- that's what the barkeep told them. Even left their names and some room numbers, whatever they were for. Deidara didn't quite care, he just wanted to down something. He pulled himself onto the barstool and noticed that it as a single glass. With two straws. ...hn.
sarbito: Itachi was too drunk to care about how queer they would look sipping out of the same drink. Everyone else there was doing it anyway, right? Right. So whatever. He took a seat at the bar, took his straw, and downed a good portion of the pina colada of love. Noting that the counter felt comfortably cold, he put his head down against it. "'m gettin' tired... 's there a couch or somethin'..?"
art of exploding: He was thirty and pretty much just leaned in and drank everything that was left, stretching a little when Itachi mentioned he was tired- damn, he was getting tired, too. He stood upright, balancing himself on the counter, and looked at Itachi with his head resting on it- you know how damn weird Itachi looked like blonde? Under the light, his hair was glowing. He reached out and prodded Itachi's head- yep, hair was soft to the touch- and yawned. " Me too, un... we should head back." He reached into his pocket and found that he had thankfully brought his keys, and twirled them absent-mindedly, waiting for Itachi. "Get up." He tugged on Itachi's shoulder.
sarbito: "Mmkay." Itachi muttered under his breath, looking up at Deidara with bleary eyes. He forced himself out of his chair with much commotion, and reached into his right pocket. Frowning, he checked the left. He moved from his pants pockets to his jacket pockets, still with no results. At least the credit card was there. "I... uh... I don't have m'keys..." He said it almost like he had to say this out loud to confirm it to himself. He knew he'd locked it. He did it, reflexively, knowing all the skeevy people in the building who'd try to steal his stuff. Maybe he could've picked the lock sober--- it wouldn'tve been the first time, but in this condition he would've had better luck throwing himself at the door until it collapsed open. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground-- the ever-moving ground-- frowning. He didn't want to ask it.
art of exploding: "Y' locked yourself out?" He blinked. "Idiot...hn." Stupid world. Why must it keep on spinning? There was a clear solution, but hell if he was going to offer. He staggered towards the door with great effort- and it took a long time, for he didn't exactly go in a straight line. "You'll have t' sleep in y' corridor then." He nearly buckled under his drunken stupor but caught himself on the door, and struggled with it for some time. Damnit, door- why won't you open? Hn. Stupid door. Stupid spinning world.
sarbito: Itachi shoved himself at the door, forcing it open. He stumbled back a few steps once reaching the outside world, but quickly regained balance. Or whatever ounce of it he had left that made him still able to walk. With a sigh, he spat it out. "Jus' let me stay at your place t'night. I'll sleep on th' couch."
art of exploding: He couldn't help but smirk to himself on hearing the question. "Hn. You fag." But whatever, not like he was going to turn it down- alcohol had robbed him of any reason to, really. Thank god Tobi was an early sleeper and would probably be fast asleep by now... they just had to hope for that damn bird. "C'mon," he muttered, making to move off, but instant tripping over himself- he wasn't very coordinated, when drunk. He refused to say "yeah, sure", but that would be enough for the faggot.
sarbito: Itachi muttered something incomprehensible, probably just another rebuttal to being a faggot, as usual. He followed after Deidara, trying to keep up with his pace but ending up slightly behind. "At least y' got an elephator."
art of exploding: "Your apartmen' building sucks," Deidara agreed. Why the hell was Itachi lagging so far behind? He was tired, damnit, and he wanted to sleep. Like, now. It wasn't that far anyway. Deidara turned around and grabbed Itachi by the wrist, pretty much dragging him all the way into the elevator. His head was already throbbing with the beginnings of a headache, and he had little patience to wait for anything that would get in the way of him and his sleep.
sarbito: "Ya." Itachi didn't make any protest against being dragged. It meant less effort had to be made on his end to move. He leaned against the elevator wall, pressing his face against it. It, like the counter, had a comforting coldness. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the metallic wall and was surprised to see that he was blonde. He'd somehow already forgotten that part of the evening, despite his hair still hanging around in his face. "We could sleep here..."
art of exploding: "No, hn." He wasn't sleeping in a fucking elevator. "We's gonna sleep in m' room." Still pulling Itachi behind him, he made his way to his apartment door the moment the lift door slid open ad struggled a little with the keys and the lock. Damnit, why'd keys have to be so small and metallic and jingly? After a minute or two of not-so-quiet swearing he finally pushed the door open. If he weren't quite so drunk he would have noticed that Tobi had moved around the furniture yet again, but whatever. The door to his room was still in the same place. He went over to it and fumbled with the doorknob. Damnit, he hated doors.
sarbito: Itachi was too shitfaced to notice the "we" and "sleeping in my room" put together. He walked into the apartment and gave it a quick look around. "Nice. 's... clean an' stuff." At least, it looked clean with the lights off.
art of exploding: Deidara was too shitfaced to notice it, either, and he didn't quite care- Loli woke up and started singing strange songs that that damn thing had to have learned from Tobi, and he just wanted to get the door between himself and that bird as soon as possible so as to save his ears the torture. He finally got the door open and pulled Itachi in, slamming it behind them. "Fucking bird, hn... night," he muttered mostly to himself, and threw himself backwards onto the bed. He pretty much fell asleep before his head hit the pillow, and he wasn't quite aware that he had pulled Itachi down with him. More accurately, on him.
sarbito: The whole thing happened in such a blur that Itachi wasn't sure exactly WHAT had just happened. He just knew that now... he was in bed... and was on top of something warm. Eh, whatever. He went to sleep and decided not to bother keeping his mind awake any longer to think about it.
When: Monday night, immediately following the accompanying chat.
What: Itachi and Deidara taking themselves on a shitfaced adventure, leading to nowhere and nothing good. :P And somehow without actually paying for anything.
Where: Apartment to the street to hair salon to skeevy gay bar and back again!
Warnings: They're both... incredibly gay. The gay bar is so campy. And they both consume so much alcohol is miraculous that the log didn't end with "And then they died of alcohol poisoning."
AIM or LJ? AIM!
Open? No ho, this shit is done.
sarbito: Itachi walked down the stairs. When I say walked down the stairs, what I really mean is he basically threw himself down the stairs and clung to the railing for dear life. Why god, why was this apartment building without an elevator? At the bottom of the stairs, he tried to steady himself and regain his balance. The bright light of the lobby hurt his eyes, so he protectively held his hand over them while looking around for Deidara. "Deidarrraaa? Are you around?" His words were slurred.
art of exploding: Deidara's apartment, fortunately, had an elevator- as well as multiple people in it giving him odd looks and squeezing themselves into the opposite corner. He gave them all the finger- at least he thought he did, he wasn't too sure if it was the right finger- and staggered out the lift on the wrong floor. He stumbled down the stairs- thank god Itachi's apartment was so nearby- and into the lobby. His hair was a mess, sticking out at odd angles, and he squinted through the strands in his face upon hearing his name being called. "'Tachi? That you, hn?" he called out in a drunken slurr, staggering forward clumsily. Why was the floor spinning?
sarbito: Upon seeing Deidara--- at least, what he thought looked like Deidara, how many drunk blondes who knew his name could there possibly be?, Itachi stumbled towards Deidara and threw his arm around his shoulders, like they were old pals. He also shifted most of his weight onto Deidara, which was probably not the best of ideas. "Yeah, 's me. Are ya ready t' go get some glasseses?" he asked, the smell of alcohol emanating from his breath.
art of exploding: Deidara buckled slightly under the sudden added weight, stumbling backwards to support himself against a nearby pillar. "You're heavy," he giggled, throwing his own arm around Itachi's shoulders. With a deep breath he took in the smell of Itachi's drunken breath, stumbling slightly in response- now adding his own breath to the mix. He could almost taste the vodka in the air around them- and reacted to this realization by sticking his tongue out. "Ho' yeah... glaasses..." he muttered. "Glasseses!" he declared, his face brightening. "Yeah, les get some!" He took an awkward step forward and leaned his weight back onto Itachi. Where were they going again? To buy glasses. ...where was that? Hic.
sarbito: Itachi shook his head, and started, dear god, was that giggling? Yes, yes it was. "No'm not. You're jus' weakish." His hair fell in his face, obscuring his both drunken and almost legally blind vision. He tried to move the hair out of the way, but mostly just succeeded in smacking himself in the face. ""Do you... uh.. do y'know where the glasseses shop is...?" Itachi was sure it was... somewhere. Somewhere in Japan.
art of exploding: Hehe. Itachi smacked himself. With his hair. Deidara couldn't help but giggle again- anyone who even vaguely knew the two of them would have been completely horrified at the sight. And also would have stopped to take pictures for blackmail material. He scoffed indignantly on hearing Itachi's question- or at least as indignantly as he could, blind drunk as he was. He had no idea where it was, but he wasn't about to admit it to Itachi. "Caus' I do, un," he said. "It's..." he looked around them, blinking blearily, squinting to see through the drunken fog with his good eye. Somehow the right side of the street looked clearer- logically, he thought, the clearer side should sell glasses. Right? Right. "Thattaway." He staggered forward, nearly tripping over his foot but catching himself around Itachi's shoulder.
sarbito: Itachi staggered forward with Deidara, totally not expecting to be used as a support rail. He squinted towards the right, as if squinting hard enough would make it clearer. "I dunno... that sidea th' street keeps movin'..." Despite saying this, he moved forward anyway. First Itachi took a moment to struggle struggle with the lobby door--- push and pull were apparently not the same thing. After solving the mystery of the door and dragging Deidara out with him, he started walking in the complete opposite of a straight line down the street. It would be amazing luck if they didn't veer off into the road and get hit by a passing car.
art of exploding: Hn, stupid door. Deidara limped forward- somehow his right foot felt numb- giving what he thought was an intimidating glare to a passerby on the street. From here, the other side of the street was clearer, but he wasn't about to admit he was wrong. "Shuddup, " he said, in a drawn-out drunken slur. He didn't quite notice that they were meandering around the road- he thought he was walking forward, and the buildings in the distance were kind of getting closer, as much as he could see. He constantly found himself using Itachi as a support, bumping their heads together multiple times as he staggered- somehow his feet couldn't seem to find proper fotting on the ground. How could it? The damn ground kept on moving... it was the ground's fault."You're like... blind, anyway. Hn." Hehe. That was a good one.
sarbito: "Stop hittin' me wit' your head," Itachi muttered in a slur. "I can see fine." Even in Itachi's drunken stupor, he was able to deny any and everything. It was quite the talent. At the end of the block, he halted to a stop and pointed at a store across the street. "'s that it...?" It was, in fact, a hair salon, and not anywhere remotely close to the actual eyewear shop. He he thought he saw a face painted in the window. A face... with eyes. That had to mean something, right?
art of exploding: The face painted onto the store display looked completely fuzzy to Deidara- the eyes were blurry... the person had blurry eyes. Like they did. "No you can't, un," he argued- it was pretty much reflex, counter everything Itachi tries so hard to deny. "Yeh... has t'be," he mummured, nodding to himself and feeling quite pleased. Of course he'd remembered where the store was. Not like that idiot Itachi. He staggered towards it, completely ignoring the rather important problem of actually crossing the street when they could barely walk in a straight line. He managed to vaguely make out the words "SALON" in bright neon above the store door, but he figured it was a typo. Or something. Yeah.
sarbito: A car slammed on the brakes and blared the horn as Deidara made it out onto the street. Itachi yanked him back, yelling "You goddamn idiot! Look what ya did! You're gonna get killed!" The booze in his system had given him an usual amount of concern. Under normal circumstance, he probably would've watched Deidara stagger across the street, and then chuckle as he went bouncing off someone's windshield. Tonight, however, he was repeatedly slamming the pedestrian crossing button for the both of them. That is, until it broke. When the blur across the street changed from orange to green, Itachi dragged Deidara across the street at a lazy, meandering pace, not letting up on his grip of the blonde man's forearm.
art of exploding: He blinked blearily as he was tugged backwards, staring at the car as it drove on past them. "Whatever. Thanks, hn." Did he just thank Itachi? Why yes, he did- then again, Itachi just saved his life. He allowed Itachi to drag him across the street, acting pretty much like a dead weight and using his free hand to grab at Itachi's shoulders. When they got to the other side of the street, though, he dragged Itachi towards the store instead. "Lets go, un." There was no struggling with autmoatic doors, but there was plenty of staring from the people inside. He pulled Itachi with him over to the counter, where a rather bewildered woman looked quite uncertain as to what to do. "Hi," was all that Deidara announced, slamming his hand on the counter as though he had said something of importance.
sarbito: Itachi leaned over the counter, and, with what he thought look of seriousness and purpose that actually looked more like he was about to throw up, declared "We... want glasses. Showus'em."
art of exploding: "Yes, hn," Deidara agreed, trying to put on an intimidating expression that probably came across as the typical blank look of a drunken man.
The woman at the counter blinked, unsure of what to make of the situation- she would have turned them down, clearly drunk as they were, but somehow she felt like there would be some trouble if she did. Also... did they ask for glasses? "I'm... sorry, sir?" she asked politely, stepping backward slightly from the smell of alcohol-laden breath. "Ah... of course, sirs. But first, would you like anything done with your hair?"
sarbito: "Huh... 's there somethin' wrong wit' our hair, 'dara?" Itachi looked over at Deidara. Well... something was wrong with HIS hair, anyway. What the hell happened there? Did Deidara cut his hair with a lawnmower or what? But Itachi was convinced he had supermodel hair. All sleek and shiny and... in his face.
art of exploding: "I dun think so, 'Tachi," he mummured- he knew his hair was in perfect condition, but Itachi's was... weird. All greasy and lumped and apparently refusing to stay out of the guy's eyes. "You think thar's something wrong with our hair, lady?" He leaned forward, in an attempt to be threatening, although it hardly came off as such.
"Oh- no, no, nothing wrong with it," she corrected herself hurriedly- these men didn't look like people they should get on the wrong side of, at any rate. "I just meant- since you're here- maybe you'd like a haircut? A wash? Maybe dye it a new colour?" She hoped they would just say no and stagger on out of the store.
sarbito: Itachi tilted his head thoughtfully. "Huh... we could trade hair colors!" He banged his fist on the counter, like this was the best idea he'd ever had. Blondes were supposed to have more fun.
art of exploding: "That we could!" Deidara declared. He always thought Itachi's hair looked sleek and sexy, and somehow his hair just couldn't quite look that way. It had to do with the colour. It all made sense now.
These men really were blind drunk- but she was far too intimidated to refuse. "Ah, of course, sirs... our attendants will see to you." She gestured over to two free attendants- who instantly looked scared out of their minds.
sarbito: "Cool!" Itachi exclaimed, going over to the attendant he claimed as his own. He was even excited enough to slap said attendant on the back. The attendant looked like she wanted to cry.
art of exploding: Deidara walked over to the other attendant, and gave her a bright thumbs up. Clearly barely avoiding a fainting spell, she had him lie down on the chair and got to work- they needed their hair washed before anything could be done with it- and used surplus ammounts of shampoo to overpower the powerful drunken stench. It was some time later when Deidara found himself blinking blearily at the mirror in drunken stupor- it actually took him some time to realize that his hair was in fact, black. "Un," he muttered. He looked damn good.
sarbito: Itachi's hair, since he was going blonde, required bleaching. Lots of bleaching. At least Itachi was good at sitting still under the heating helmet, even though he seemed convinced it contained aliens trying to steal his brain. When the long ordeal was finally over (and it did take a long time, bleaching is an excruciatingly long process) he looked in the mirror, amazed. His hair was the same color as a nilla wafer. "Oooo.... " He held up a stand to the light, watching it shine.
art of exploding: Deidara staggered over, hiccuping slightly on his way, clapping a hand on Itachi's shoulder when he got there. Woah, Itachi's hair was... blonde. Very blonde. It looked weird. "Y' looked better before," he said matter-of-factly- as matter-of-factly as he could, with such a heavily drunken slur. He looked better with dark hair. At least it wasn't clumped on his face anymore. Somehow Itachi's hair looked very shiny- there was a certain sheen to it, under the light. "Ya hair's shiny," he said, reaching out and grabbing a strand. "Soft." Hehe. Itachi's hair was soft. The guy was such a fag.
sarbito: Itachi pouted. He was convinced that he was beautiful. Like that chick who slept with the president of America a long time ago. What was her name? Marylin Manson or something. "So did you." He jerked away from Deidara's hand, his drunkeness making his motion exaggerated. "Yours looks greasy." Like they dipped his head in shoe polish, he thought inwardly. Itachi reached out and similarly touched a strand of Deidara's hair. "But 'snot." He observed.
art of exploding: Deidara grabbed Itachi's hand and pushed it down, snorting. " 'Course it's not greasy, un," he said indignantly. "It's looks nice." He was quite convinced that it did look nice- maybe not better than it was before, but not worse either. Just a change. "Looks like your hair, hn," he commented. It looked alot like what Itachi's used to be- except longer, of course. Pausing to check himself in the mirror, started towards the door, dragging Itachi behind him by the hand. "Need vodka," he declared, forgetting entirely that leaving a store usually happened after you paid. Oh well.
sarbito: Itachi felt vaguely offended. "My hair'snot greasy!" Itachi stumbled over the doorway. "Mmmm vodka... where can we go t' get some?" He looked around, like vodka was going to magically fall out of the sky.
art of exploding: He looked around- and apparently Deidara's vodka senses were tingling, because he correctly identified a bar out of the row of shops down the street. "There," he announced, and stumbled on towards it, dragging Itachi behind him. What he failed to notice, of course, was that that it was a karaoke bar, identified thus by large neon letters hanging above the entrance. Pity they never got those glasses.
sarbito: Luckily, this time there were no cars coming, allowing them to run across the street in a drunken stupor freely. "Cool! You found it like... magic or somethin'. You're soooo smart, 'dara." Itachi slurred out. He had no idea what that neon sign was about--- maybe it said something like "Free Vodka"? That'd be nice. He stood in front of the building and fumbled with the door.
art of exploding: "Yes I am, un," he replied, sounding quite pleased himself. He watched as Itachi struggled with the door, then shoved him aside impatiently. "Damnit, 'Tachi. Let me..." he struggled as well, but eventually discovered that they were, in fact, supposed to pull the door. Oh. He pulled Itachi inside. "We need vodka!" he declared at large.
sarbito: "Yeah! Vodka!" He echoed. The other patrons seemed to ignore them, transfixed on someone singing a particularly horrendous rendition of Unbreak My Heart. As he looked around inside, Itachi realized that... there was a stage. And people were on it. Singing badly. This could only mean one thing. "Hey! Hey!" He tugged on Deidara's sleeve. "We're in a kara---karapoke--karaogee bar!"
art of exploding: He blinked. "Whazzat?" he mummured, turning around when he felt Itachi tugging at his sleeve- and he watched the people on stage for a moment, in drunken indifference, then shrugged and staggered on towards the bar. " Still a bar, un," he said. "Vodka." He paused when he got there, looking around- and suddenly realized something. "Hey- 'Tachi," he said, jabbing at Itachi's shoulders. "Wes surrounded by fags."
sarbito: "People, uh, singin' n' stuff." Itachi shrugged. He made his way to the counter and leaned against it, oblivious to a big burly man in leather checking out his ass behind him. "Haha, then ya must feel like you're at home.."
art of exploding: "Ya like it here, don't cha?" Deidara sniggered, pulling himself onto a barstool and demanding vodka from the man behind it. He turned back to Itachi, catching sight of the leather-clad man behind him, and shook his head sadly, a grin on his face. "You're so damn loose, faggot. Un. Letting some guy check out your ass. Heheh."
sarbito: Itachi furrowed his brow. "'sokay I guess. Ya like it more." Itachi slowly turned, saw the man leering at him, and staggered back, trying to use Deidara as a shield between him and his not so secret admirer. "Make 'im stop! 'm not gay!!!" He whined.
art of exploding: "You like it more, hn," Deidara argued back- laughing as Itachi retreated behind himself from the huge man. He sent the guy a what he thought was a sharp glare anyway- that'd be enough- and retrieved the just-delivered vodka, handing a glass to Itachi. " 'e likes you, hn. Maybe ya should go sing him a song or somethin'."
sarbito: Itachi winced. "Don't wanna sing a song wit' him." He downed the vodka, savoring the burn that traveled down his throat and the destruction of what remained of his liver. "But if you wanted to sing somethin' or somethin', it'd be okay..."
art of exploding: Deidara took a drink, looked at what remained of his liquor, and destroyed it in one shot. "Mm, vodka," he mummured, and demanded refills. Screw the fact that his wallet probably wasn't with him, they needed vodka. Deidara blinked at Itachi's comment, then shrugged. "Yeh, sure," he mummured with a slight hiccup. "Y' gotta pick a song, tho. Un."
sarbito: "Yeah okay." Itachi knew that he had a credit card in his jacket pocket. Maybe. Was this the right jacket? Did it have pockets? This and other helpful information currently escaped Itachi. He went over to look at the song selection, and was struck with a horrific realization. He couldn't read any of the song titles! Man, they really shouldn't have forgotten to get those glasses at that eyewear store/hair salon... with a sigh, he closed his eyes, let his finger find a selection, and then signed them up. How bad could it be? There were only so many songs in a karaoke bar. ... Right?
art of exploding: Deidara staggered up to him after a minute or so, and saw that Itachi had already signed them up. He squinted at the song title- he couldn't quite make out what it was. The first word began with an E, and there was a part in brackets that looked like it said "the pinata song". What the fuck, the pinata song? Did Itachi listen to faggy kids music or something? "Nice song, un," he muttered- it was intended to have sounded sarcastic, but it probably didn't come out that way. Whatever, if Itachi wanted to sing about rainbow-coloured donkeys with candy inside, then fine.
sarbito: Itachi shrugged, not wanting to admit he had no idea what he actually picked. He had more pride than that. "Yeah. Thanks. It's, uh, a good song." he crossed his arms. If it was a really gay song, he would be so ashamed. Hopefully they'd both forget this ever happened by morning. Hopefully.
art of exploding: So he really did like this song? Deidara frowned and squinted at it harder with his one good eye- and finally amanged to read it; Escape (The Pina Colada Song). ...wait, what? He recognized that title! That was some fucked up romance song about a couple that cheated on each other... with each other. Or something. What the hell was Itachi thinking? His eyes narrowed- of course, Itachi probably just thought he wouldn't dare to sing it. ""I'mma get s'more vodka first, un," he mummured. "Ya want some?" Well, he'd show him. Even if the song was faggy. Hn.
sarbito: Itachi gave a brief nod. "More vodka'd be great." He noticed Deidara's expression and was filled with dread. It WAS a faggy song, wasn't it? Oh man. He was never going to live this down. He definitely needed more vodka, that was for sure.
art of exploding: Deidara headed back to the bar, and ordered up vodka- lots of it. Hell, if he was even going to get through this, he needed to be way more drunk than he was at the moment, even if he was still staggering and the floor was made out of nauseating spinny lines. He downed his share quickly, waiting for Itachi to finish. "We'd be up soon, hn." He tried to stand up but found his knees buckling again. But damn, he needed more vodka.
sarbito: Itachi managed a thumbs up to Deidara before chugging his vodka. He chuckled. "Heheh... y' would be up inna gay bar." He was convinced he was pure comedic genius. If only their turn would come up already. And if only the creepy burly man would stop making puppy eyes at him.
art of exploding: Deidara pulled himself back onto the barstool and frowned- he was even more dizzy than before now, and he only vaguely recognized that Itachi had just insulted him. "No, y' are, hn," he muttered- he caught sight of the huge leather-clad man again, and sniggered slightly. Why was the table moving like that? It made it very difficult to hold on to. He looked back at Itachi- and his eyes wandered a little. He sniggered. "Ya damn are, un. Lookat that." He broke out into a small gigglefit.
sarbito: Itachi's face, already flushed from being intoxicated, turned more red. He reflexively put his hand over his goods. "Am not."
Just then, like a magical beacon from the gods, their names were called to go up. Itachi put his now empty vodka glass down, grabbed Deidara by the wrist, and started staggering towards the stage.
art of exploding: He was still giggling even as he was pulled onto the stage- he tried to stand when they got there, but failed, and threw an arm around Itachi for support. The crowd was looking up at them quite expectantly, and Deidara couldn't help but observe that they were all guys, mostly couples. Hehe, fags. They were introduced, the crowd cheered politely, and the music began to play- Deidara squinted at the screen during the intro. Even with his one good eye, he couldn't make out most of the lyrics- heh, Itachi was so screwed. He had heard the song more than a few times, it was a fucking earworm- he knew most of the lyrics. They should be the right ones. Should. Hn.
sarbito: As the music started, Itachi realized that at least he had heard this song a couple times before. It was a song he'd rather forget, but he remembered it. Which was good, because he sure as hell couldn't make out anything on the screen. He really should've considered that before signing them up for karaoke, but... oh well. Too late now. He let Deidara handle the first verse, planning to come in at the chorus. Wherever it was. When they started talking about the pina coladas. Hey, a pina colada wouldn't be half bad right now...
art of exploding: The first line came, and Deidara noticed at once that Itachi wasn't singing anything. He couldn't read the screen, could he? Hah! ...no, wait, it was a challenge. He had to sing the verse. Yes. He could kind of remember it, anyway, even if he started a line late and a drunken slur was still evident in his voice.
"We'd been together too long
like a worn-out recording
Of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleepin'
I read th' paper in bed
An' in the personal columns
There was this letter ah read..."
sarbito: Itachi started in on the chorus, amazingly off-key and slurring words like nobody's business.
" If y' like Piña Coladaaaaaas
And gettin' caught in the raiiiiiiin
If you're not into yogaaaa
If ya have halfa brain
If ya like makin' love at midniiiiiiiiight
In the dunes on th' Cape
Then I'm the love that ya looked foooor
Write t' meeeee and escape "
art of exploding: Deidara was vaguely aware of pitch, or at least that Itachi wasn't quite on it, and he was somewhat able to match his as they both sang the chorus. He stumbled a little as he leaned down to try and make out the words, none too familiar with the second verse.
"I didn' think about m' lady
I know that sounds kinda mean
But me and th' old lady
Have fallen into the same ol dull routine..."
He squinted- somehow he couldn't quite read past that. Itachi had better sing it. In the meanwhile, he settled for this.
"La la la la la la laaaa,
La la la la la laa..."
sarbito: Itachi froze, realizing Deidara expected him to finish the line. But... he had nothing. He froze. The second verse was different, too! It had something about champagne. Which was almost as good as a pina colada. He realized the rest of Deidara's verse had passed him by, so he picked back up on the chorus. The one with the champagne.
" Yeah I like pina coladas an' gettin' caught in the rain
I'm not much into health food, I'm into champagne
I gotta meet you by tomorrow n' cut through all this red tape
Come to a bar called O'Malleys where we'll plan to escape"
Itachi honestly had no idea how the rest of the song went. Or that it was so damn long. The part with the pina coladas needed to come back. It was easier to remember.
art of exploding: Deidara was quite aware that they had completely made fools of themselves, and was glad that there was no one in the audience he recognized. Most of his embarassment was numbed through the powers of drunken numbness, though, and at least Itachi knew the chorus, Besides, he was quite certain at least some of the crowd was singing along. Laughing at them, maybe, but whatever. He knew this verse well. It was the fucked up one.
"So I waited with high hopes
An' she walked in th' place
I knew her smile in an' instant
I knew the curve of 'er face
It was mah own lovely laaaady
And she said, "oh it's you!"
and then we laughed for a moment
And I said, "I never knew..."
One last chorus, and that was it. Somehow he belted it out like no ones business- and the crowd below appeared to be enjoying it. Fags.
"That you like pina colaaadaaaas...!"
sarbito: Itachi sang along with the chorus and its repeat, finally getting really into it. He did a little dance on the stage, mostly involving thrusting. The audience seemed to find it very attractive, judging by the thong or two that went flying his way. As the music faded out, he took a bow. Like he had just did the whole thing all by himself and didn't only sing the chorus. What an asshole.
art of exploding: Deidara did his own dance, mostly involving his hips, and got a thong to the face. He spun it on his finger for awhile, to a few whoops from the audience, and took his bow as the song ended- far too drunk to even bother realizing that Itachi was quite happy to take credit for singing more than just the chorus. Still staggering, he grabbed Itachi by the shoulder in an uncharacteristically friendly gesture, a bold grin on his face. He said only one word: "Vodka."
sarbito: Itachi's face lit up like the fourth of July, and he grabbed Deidara by the opposite shoulder, mirroring him. "Vodka! Although... y'know.... I kinda wanna Pina Colada now..."
art of exploding: "Then we'll get some, hn," Deidara declared, grabbing Itachi's forearm and dragging him off the stage towards the bar. Apparently a few mysterious strangers within the audience had ordered up a pina colada for them- that's what the barkeep told them. Even left their names and some room numbers, whatever they were for. Deidara didn't quite care, he just wanted to down something. He pulled himself onto the barstool and noticed that it as a single glass. With two straws. ...hn.
sarbito: Itachi was too drunk to care about how queer they would look sipping out of the same drink. Everyone else there was doing it anyway, right? Right. So whatever. He took a seat at the bar, took his straw, and downed a good portion of the pina colada of love. Noting that the counter felt comfortably cold, he put his head down against it. "'m gettin' tired... 's there a couch or somethin'..?"
art of exploding: He was thirty and pretty much just leaned in and drank everything that was left, stretching a little when Itachi mentioned he was tired- damn, he was getting tired, too. He stood upright, balancing himself on the counter, and looked at Itachi with his head resting on it- you know how damn weird Itachi looked like blonde? Under the light, his hair was glowing. He reached out and prodded Itachi's head- yep, hair was soft to the touch- and yawned. " Me too, un... we should head back." He reached into his pocket and found that he had thankfully brought his keys, and twirled them absent-mindedly, waiting for Itachi. "Get up." He tugged on Itachi's shoulder.
sarbito: "Mmkay." Itachi muttered under his breath, looking up at Deidara with bleary eyes. He forced himself out of his chair with much commotion, and reached into his right pocket. Frowning, he checked the left. He moved from his pants pockets to his jacket pockets, still with no results. At least the credit card was there. "I... uh... I don't have m'keys..." He said it almost like he had to say this out loud to confirm it to himself. He knew he'd locked it. He did it, reflexively, knowing all the skeevy people in the building who'd try to steal his stuff. Maybe he could've picked the lock sober--- it wouldn'tve been the first time, but in this condition he would've had better luck throwing himself at the door until it collapsed open. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground-- the ever-moving ground-- frowning. He didn't want to ask it.
art of exploding: "Y' locked yourself out?" He blinked. "Idiot...hn." Stupid world. Why must it keep on spinning? There was a clear solution, but hell if he was going to offer. He staggered towards the door with great effort- and it took a long time, for he didn't exactly go in a straight line. "You'll have t' sleep in y' corridor then." He nearly buckled under his drunken stupor but caught himself on the door, and struggled with it for some time. Damnit, door- why won't you open? Hn. Stupid door. Stupid spinning world.
sarbito: Itachi shoved himself at the door, forcing it open. He stumbled back a few steps once reaching the outside world, but quickly regained balance. Or whatever ounce of it he had left that made him still able to walk. With a sigh, he spat it out. "Jus' let me stay at your place t'night. I'll sleep on th' couch."
art of exploding: He couldn't help but smirk to himself on hearing the question. "Hn. You fag." But whatever, not like he was going to turn it down- alcohol had robbed him of any reason to, really. Thank god Tobi was an early sleeper and would probably be fast asleep by now... they just had to hope for that damn bird. "C'mon," he muttered, making to move off, but instant tripping over himself- he wasn't very coordinated, when drunk. He refused to say "yeah, sure", but that would be enough for the faggot.
sarbito: Itachi muttered something incomprehensible, probably just another rebuttal to being a faggot, as usual. He followed after Deidara, trying to keep up with his pace but ending up slightly behind. "At least y' got an elephator."
art of exploding: "Your apartmen' building sucks," Deidara agreed. Why the hell was Itachi lagging so far behind? He was tired, damnit, and he wanted to sleep. Like, now. It wasn't that far anyway. Deidara turned around and grabbed Itachi by the wrist, pretty much dragging him all the way into the elevator. His head was already throbbing with the beginnings of a headache, and he had little patience to wait for anything that would get in the way of him and his sleep.
sarbito: "Ya." Itachi didn't make any protest against being dragged. It meant less effort had to be made on his end to move. He leaned against the elevator wall, pressing his face against it. It, like the counter, had a comforting coldness. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the metallic wall and was surprised to see that he was blonde. He'd somehow already forgotten that part of the evening, despite his hair still hanging around in his face. "We could sleep here..."
art of exploding: "No, hn." He wasn't sleeping in a fucking elevator. "We's gonna sleep in m' room." Still pulling Itachi behind him, he made his way to his apartment door the moment the lift door slid open ad struggled a little with the keys and the lock. Damnit, why'd keys have to be so small and metallic and jingly? After a minute or two of not-so-quiet swearing he finally pushed the door open. If he weren't quite so drunk he would have noticed that Tobi had moved around the furniture yet again, but whatever. The door to his room was still in the same place. He went over to it and fumbled with the doorknob. Damnit, he hated doors.
sarbito: Itachi was too shitfaced to notice the "we" and "sleeping in my room" put together. He walked into the apartment and gave it a quick look around. "Nice. 's... clean an' stuff." At least, it looked clean with the lights off.
art of exploding: Deidara was too shitfaced to notice it, either, and he didn't quite care- Loli woke up and started singing strange songs that that damn thing had to have learned from Tobi, and he just wanted to get the door between himself and that bird as soon as possible so as to save his ears the torture. He finally got the door open and pulled Itachi in, slamming it behind them. "Fucking bird, hn... night," he muttered mostly to himself, and threw himself backwards onto the bed. He pretty much fell asleep before his head hit the pillow, and he wasn't quite aware that he had pulled Itachi down with him. More accurately, on him.
sarbito: The whole thing happened in such a blur that Itachi wasn't sure exactly WHAT had just happened. He just knew that now... he was in bed... and was on top of something warm. Eh, whatever. He went to sleep and decided not to bother keeping his mind awake any longer to think about it.