In which I am useless
Wow. I was too nervous to check out any comments from last time (what, I can't help it! I posted WORK! Of course I went all cowardly) and now that I've finally drummed up the courage...
Wow. Thank you all so much! Eee, I feel all proud and happy now... Thank you!
Now I'm going to make you all seriously disappointed in me though. I, uh, I haven't been to college this week. I just couldn't. It's not like I just stayed in bed - I got up and got ready every day, actually, but I kept making it half way up the road and then running back. The one day I stood half a chance Imissed my bus, and had a major freak out. I'm sorry, guys. I ran out of pills, and at the end of last week there were people who obviously found out that I have depression and decided to test how far it would go of they messed with me. Joy. Then there were more money issues, more family arguments, and an article about Zoe in the local paper (which sparked all sorts of guilt issues and bad memories). I'm sorry. I should be able to cope better than this by now. I love that course, it's everything I could wish for right now. The tutors are lovely. But... Yeah. Being the outcast and local "entertainment"... I have close friends outside the course, and a couple of tentative friends on it, but...
Basically, I'm sorry. I feel like I've let you all down after you've been so supportive... I'm really sorry.
I'm going next week. I'll bribe myself, or get my parents to drive me so I can't turn and run home again. Either that or just focus on how unbelievably guilty I feel right now.
Sorry, everyone.
Uhh, on another note! I finally gave in regarding "Twilight". In places it still reminds me of fanfiction (reasonably well-written fanfiction, admittedly, but still enough to irritate me), and I'm still not a fangirl or anything, but I needed a gushy romantic story. What?! They make me feel better... Yes, yes, I know I'm daft and a bit pathetic. But what the hell.
And I've done nothing but ramble and apologise. Sorry, guys.
Love you lots, ok? I missed you... Sorry I didn't post or anything for so long, but... Yeah. It would have been even worse than this one, I think. Plus I was pretty nervous about reactions to my work, much as I know you're all too lovely to tell me even if it was rubbish.
Also, jenwryn? Congratulations, sweetheart, on all levels. *hugs* ♥
Wow. Thank you all so much! Eee, I feel all proud and happy now... Thank you!
Now I'm going to make you all seriously disappointed in me though. I, uh, I haven't been to college this week. I just couldn't. It's not like I just stayed in bed - I got up and got ready every day, actually, but I kept making it half way up the road and then running back. The one day I stood half a chance Imissed my bus, and had a major freak out. I'm sorry, guys. I ran out of pills, and at the end of last week there were people who obviously found out that I have depression and decided to test how far it would go of they messed with me. Joy. Then there were more money issues, more family arguments, and an article about Zoe in the local paper (which sparked all sorts of guilt issues and bad memories). I'm sorry. I should be able to cope better than this by now. I love that course, it's everything I could wish for right now. The tutors are lovely. But... Yeah. Being the outcast and local "entertainment"... I have close friends outside the course, and a couple of tentative friends on it, but...
Basically, I'm sorry. I feel like I've let you all down after you've been so supportive... I'm really sorry.
I'm going next week. I'll bribe myself, or get my parents to drive me so I can't turn and run home again. Either that or just focus on how unbelievably guilty I feel right now.
Sorry, everyone.
Uhh, on another note! I finally gave in regarding "Twilight". In places it still reminds me of fanfiction (reasonably well-written fanfiction, admittedly, but still enough to irritate me), and I'm still not a fangirl or anything, but I needed a gushy romantic story. What?! They make me feel better... Yes, yes, I know I'm daft and a bit pathetic. But what the hell.
And I've done nothing but ramble and apologise. Sorry, guys.
Love you lots, ok? I missed you... Sorry I didn't post or anything for so long, but... Yeah. It would have been even worse than this one, I think. Plus I was pretty nervous about reactions to my work, much as I know you're all too lovely to tell me even if it was rubbish.
Also, jenwryn? Congratulations, sweetheart, on all levels. *hugs* ♥