ann/claire lane, imagine me and you, pg (a teeny tiny bit of cussing)
Claire Lane has taken up residence in Pawnee, Indiana for exactly seven weeks. Two weeks after settling into this strange little town, she is hired as a temporary deputy director at the Parks and Recreation branch of the local government. Two days into the job, she meets Ann Perkins via enthusiastic introduction from Leslie Knope (this is Ann Perkins, beautiful part time nurse, full time best friend and most wonderful woodland creature in the world!). A week following their meeting and several Leslie planned welcoming parties later; a strange tugging ache begins to occur near her chest every time Ann gives her a cheery wave accompanied by a habitually awkward smile.
Claire’s not exactly stupid, so she figures it out after seven weeks, three days and a lot of blatant innuendo from Leslie and Donna.
Turns out she might totally be in love with Ann Perkins, go figure.
The thing is, Claire gauges from long talks with Leslie that always seem to evolve around Ann (Leslie has no qualms talking about anything under the sun, to the point where Claire is sure Leslie thinks Ann is the sun, pun intended) that Ann is into dudes. In fact, she’s probably dated every eligible bachelor in the government, from Andy (who Claire has already taken a great liking to) to overly optimistic Chris - not so much.
Ann however, has been giving her signals that her feelings might be reciprocated.
And shit, it’s messing with her head, especially since Leslie keeps encouraging her to ask her best friend out and, what does that even mean?
From behind her desk, Leslie shakes her head and looks into the lens. Leaning forward on her elbows and into the camera, she whispers.
“Claire is totally into Ann, the whole department knows. I’ve been trying to get everybody to hint it to Ann, like a government wide game of charades. Oh! That’s a good idea, hang on.” She scrambles for a pen, opens her padfolio and jots something down then looks up again.
“Beautiful Ann is completely unaware when it comes to almost as beautiful Claire. I guess the magnitude of their combined beauty distracts Ann from the fact that Claire likes her so much.”
Leslie shrugs, a light, suggestive gleam coming into her eyes. The producer is almost tempted to call Ann and tell her to run away, because she knows all too well where this is leading. Leslie has an idea.
“I have an idea.” She tells the camera, a wicked smile on her lips. “I’m going to help Ann Perkins and Claire Lane find happiness!”
“Why are we doing this to ourselves?” Leslie asks as she pushes her container of barely touched salad further away. “Salad sucks.”
Ann gives her a look, the one Leslie has categorized as “loving with a hint of endearment and a splash of I love you”.
“I love you too, beautiful Ann.” She says without waiting for Ann to say it first, taking a sip of her milkshake - extra sugar.
“Huh?”
“Ann, I need your help.”
“Shoot.”
Leslie clears her throat, a habit of hers when reciting a script or speech, one she’s rewritten six times and sent to Ron for editing twice, with no response on either occasion. “I’m planning an outing for everybody at that fancy restaurant on First Street this Saturday, can you come? Please Ann? And drive Claire? She’s not good with the roads yet and I have to pick up my fantastic boyfriend Ben and his roommates and my coworkers, Andy and April, who are married, and living with my boyfriend Ben and their three legged dog Champion.”
Ann glosses over her weirdly specific phrasing and replies nonchalantly. “Sure, we were actually going to hang out and watch a movie at my place anyway. We’ll just watch it early and head over.”
“Movie date!” Leslie blurts out and Ann looks at her with an eyebrow raised. Leslie brushes it off with a chuckle. “You know Ann, like a movie, then a… date with your coworkers. A movie. Date. You know Ann, a movie date.”
Seated in the chair placed specifically for her at the corner of Leslie’s desk (which serves a dual purpose, as it is now also Claire’s desk), Ann speaks to the camera.
“Claire is really cool. Yeah, she’s English, which is really interesting because she’s always drinking tea. I haven’t met anyone in Pawnee who drinks tea except for Chris but Claire’s tea doesn’t taste like sewer water.” A wispy laugh, which fades away into a serious frown.
“This one time she offered some to Ron and he opened his window and threw it into Kyle. Poor Kyle got some nasty burns I had to treat and Andy laughed so hard that he knocked himself into his desk and got another concussion.” She shakes her head, as if the memories themselves were hazardous to her mental health.
“English tea is delicious but lethal if not treated with respect, that’s what Claire said.”
She pauses to smile quietly to herself. A full thirty seconds pass before she suddenly realizes the camera is still on her.
“So yes, she’s great, why do you ask?”
Claire knocks on Ann’s door at 4 pm sharp. When the door swings open, she raises the bottle of wine in her hand while Ann raises her bag of popcorn. They’re both giggling by the time the glasses are poured and the popcorn is popped.
“What are we watching?” Claire asks from her spot on the couch. Ann is in the kitchen finishing up some washing.
“Imagine me and you.”
“What?” Claire is taken aback for a moment, before reality steals her back.
“Imagine me and you. It’s got that actress Ben is really into, the one from Game of Thrones.”
“The girl you say has my eyebrows?”
“She totally does!” Ann replies as she walks into the living room with a bowl and sets it onto the coffee table. “You guys are identical. I swear this Lena character is your doppelganger.”
Claire makes a face. “Stop creeping me out and start the movie Perkins.” She teases, nudging Ann’s shoulder with her own. Ann smiles and presses play. Perkins, huh. It’s weird how comfortable she gets being around Claire.
When they’d first met, Ann had naturally gravitated towards the newfound face of the Parks department, almost like she did with Leslie all those years ago. She’d felt relaxed right away, never was there the distinct fear of boring her, of being up to standards, of being too demure or too outrageous. She always felt like just enough with Claire, enough to be a little rude, enough to be a little awkward, and enough to be a little more Ann.
“Thanks, by the way.” She doesn’t turn away from the screen, where Piper Perabo is walking down the aisle.
Claire takes a short breath and looks at Ann from the corner of her eye. Maybe it’s the sudden lack of oxygen in the room and in her brain but she makes a split decision, decides she might as well jump the shark, if Ann is the one supplying her equipment. She takes the remote and clicks off the tv.
“What?”
Claire turns her whole body to the right. Her thin arms reach out to settle on Ann’s shoulders, forcing them to face each other. “Ann, this might be out of line but do you like me?”
“Yeah… what’s going on?”
“Good, because I like you too, but I don’t know if it’s the way you like me.”
Ann’s eyebrows knit in confusion and her mouth hangs open for a moment before snapping shut. “What?”
“I like you Ann, in the biblical way.”
She almost wants to laugh at the joke, but the way Claire’s features have tensed unnerves her, like she is looking at a different person. The only part of Claire she recognizes fully now is the uneasy smile, the one that’s pleading for her to say yes while simultaneously ready to make it all a joke, for her sake, for Ann’s convenience, for her.
And that’s probably what pushes her over the top, let’s her remember the weeks of sexual frustration and trying so very hard not to believe you’ve fallen in love with your new friend. Fallen for the girl with the great smile and easy demeanor and only the second person in the world you’ve ever felt like you didn’t need to compromise yourself with.
That’s probably why she grabs her wrists and pushes herself against Claire, let’s go and wraps her arms around her. That’s probably why she’s so grateful when Claire relaxes against her, hugs her back and tucks her forehead into the nook of her shoulder.
That’s probably why she says: “I like you too, exactly the way you like me.”
Leslie knocks on Ann’s door at exactly ten pm, three hours after their supposed meeting time at the restaurant. Worried, Leslie slips her extra key into the hole and cautiously slides the doors open, whispering to a silent house. “Ann? Claire?”
When her eyes adjust, she spots them cuddled up on the couch under a giant blanket. Her face immediately shoots up to the camera, a bright smile even in the dark. “Yay Ann!” She stage-whispers before slowly edging out of the house and shutting the door.
On the porch, she grins. “Operation soaring blue jay is a success!”
Claire Lane has taken up residence in Pawnee, Indiana for exactly seven weeks. Two weeks after settling into this strange little town, she is hired as a temporary deputy director at the Parks and Recreation branch of the local government. Two days into the job, she meets Ann Perkins via enthusiastic introduction from Leslie Knope (this is Ann Perkins, beautiful part time nurse, full time best friend and most wonderful woodland creature in the world!). A week following their meeting and several Leslie planned welcoming parties later; a strange tugging ache begins to occur near her chest every time Ann gives her a cheery wave accompanied by a habitually awkward smile.
Claire’s not exactly stupid, so she figures it out after seven weeks, three days and a lot of blatant innuendo from Leslie and Donna.
Turns out she might totally be in love with Ann Perkins, go figure.
The thing is, Claire gauges from long talks with Leslie that always seem to evolve around Ann (Leslie has no qualms talking about anything under the sun, to the point where Claire is sure Leslie thinks Ann is the sun, pun intended) that Ann is into dudes. In fact, she’s probably dated every eligible bachelor in the government, from Andy (who Claire has already taken a great liking to) to overly optimistic Chris - not so much.
Ann however, has been giving her signals that her feelings might be reciprocated.
And shit, it’s messing with her head, especially since Leslie keeps encouraging her to ask her best friend out and, what does that even mean?
From behind her desk, Leslie shakes her head and looks into the lens. Leaning forward on her elbows and into the camera, she whispers.
“Claire is totally into Ann, the whole department knows. I’ve been trying to get everybody to hint it to Ann, like a government wide game of charades. Oh! That’s a good idea, hang on.” She scrambles for a pen, opens her padfolio and jots something down then looks up again.
“Beautiful Ann is completely unaware when it comes to almost as beautiful Claire. I guess the magnitude of their combined beauty distracts Ann from the fact that Claire likes her so much.”
Leslie shrugs, a light, suggestive gleam coming into her eyes. The producer is almost tempted to call Ann and tell her to run away, because she knows all too well where this is leading. Leslie has an idea.
“I have an idea.” She tells the camera, a wicked smile on her lips. “I’m going to help Ann Perkins and Claire Lane find happiness!”
“Why are we doing this to ourselves?” Leslie asks as she pushes her container of barely touched salad further away. “Salad sucks.”
Ann gives her a look, the one Leslie has categorized as “loving with a hint of endearment and a splash of I love you”.
“I love you too, beautiful Ann.” She says without waiting for Ann to say it first, taking a sip of her milkshake - extra sugar.
“Huh?”
“Ann, I need your help.”
“Shoot.”
Leslie clears her throat, a habit of hers when reciting a script or speech, one she’s rewritten six times and sent to Ron for editing twice, with no response on either occasion. “I’m planning an outing for everybody at that fancy restaurant on First Street this Saturday, can you come? Please Ann? And drive Claire? She’s not good with the roads yet and I have to pick up my fantastic boyfriend Ben and his roommates and my coworkers, Andy and April, who are married, and living with my boyfriend Ben and their three legged dog Champion.”
Ann glosses over her weirdly specific phrasing and replies nonchalantly. “Sure, we were actually going to hang out and watch a movie at my place anyway. We’ll just watch it early and head over.”
“Movie date!” Leslie blurts out and Ann looks at her with an eyebrow raised. Leslie brushes it off with a chuckle. “You know Ann, like a movie, then a… date with your coworkers. A movie. Date. You know Ann, a movie date.”
“Right.”
Reply
“Claire is really cool. Yeah, she’s English, which is really interesting because she’s always drinking tea. I haven’t met anyone in Pawnee who drinks tea except for Chris but Claire’s tea doesn’t taste like sewer water.” A wispy laugh, which fades away into a serious frown.
“This one time she offered some to Ron and he opened his window and threw it into Kyle. Poor Kyle got some nasty burns I had to treat and Andy laughed so hard that he knocked himself into his desk and got another concussion.” She shakes her head, as if the memories themselves were hazardous to her mental health.
“English tea is delicious but lethal if not treated with respect, that’s what Claire said.”
She pauses to smile quietly to herself. A full thirty seconds pass before she suddenly realizes the camera is still on her.
“So yes, she’s great, why do you ask?”
Claire knocks on Ann’s door at 4 pm sharp. When the door swings open, she raises the bottle of wine in her hand while Ann raises her bag of popcorn. They’re both giggling by the time the glasses are poured and the popcorn is popped.
“What are we watching?” Claire asks from her spot on the couch. Ann is in the kitchen finishing up some washing.
“Imagine me and you.”
“What?” Claire is taken aback for a moment, before reality steals her back.
“Imagine me and you. It’s got that actress Ben is really into, the one from Game of Thrones.”
“The girl you say has my eyebrows?”
“She totally does!” Ann replies as she walks into the living room with a bowl and sets it onto the coffee table. “You guys are identical. I swear this Lena character is your doppelganger.”
Claire makes a face. “Stop creeping me out and start the movie Perkins.” She teases, nudging Ann’s shoulder with her own. Ann smiles and presses play. Perkins, huh. It’s weird how comfortable she gets being around Claire.
When they’d first met, Ann had naturally gravitated towards the newfound face of the Parks department, almost like she did with Leslie all those years ago. She’d felt relaxed right away, never was there the distinct fear of boring her, of being up to standards, of being too demure or too outrageous. She always felt like just enough with Claire, enough to be a little rude, enough to be a little awkward, and enough to be a little more Ann.
“Thanks, by the way.” She doesn’t turn away from the screen, where Piper Perabo is walking down the aisle.
Claire looks at her. “For what?”
“Coming to Pawnee, I guess.”
Reply
“What?”
Claire turns her whole body to the right. Her thin arms reach out to settle on Ann’s shoulders, forcing them to face each other. “Ann, this might be out of line but do you like me?”
“Yeah… what’s going on?”
“Good, because I like you too, but I don’t know if it’s the way you like me.”
Ann’s eyebrows knit in confusion and her mouth hangs open for a moment before snapping shut. “What?”
“I like you Ann, in the biblical way.”
She almost wants to laugh at the joke, but the way Claire’s features have tensed unnerves her, like she is looking at a different person. The only part of Claire she recognizes fully now is the uneasy smile, the one that’s pleading for her to say yes while simultaneously ready to make it all a joke, for her sake, for Ann’s convenience, for her.
And that’s probably what pushes her over the top, let’s her remember the weeks of sexual frustration and trying so very hard not to believe you’ve fallen in love with your new friend. Fallen for the girl with the great smile and easy demeanor and only the second person in the world you’ve ever felt like you didn’t need to compromise yourself with.
That’s probably why she grabs her wrists and pushes herself against Claire, let’s go and wraps her arms around her. That’s probably why she’s so grateful when Claire relaxes against her, hugs her back and tucks her forehead into the nook of her shoulder.
That’s probably why she says: “I like you too, exactly the way you like me.”
Leslie knocks on Ann’s door at exactly ten pm, three hours after their supposed meeting time at the restaurant. Worried, Leslie slips her extra key into the hole and cautiously slides the doors open, whispering to a silent house. “Ann? Claire?”
When her eyes adjust, she spots them cuddled up on the couch under a giant blanket. Her face immediately shoots up to the camera, a bright smile even in the dark. “Yay Ann!” She stage-whispers before slowly edging out of the house and shutting the door.
On the porch, she grins. “Operation soaring blue jay is a success!”
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment