Advice from friends
It's funny how we all give relationship advice to each other...even if the person on the receiving end doesn't ask for it. I think it's the nature of being a human...and a friend.
The latest on the relationship front here is that my beau is quite a logical thinker. He's so logical, in fact, that he may actually be void of the capacity to feel anything. He actually turned the concept of love and happiness into a mathematical equation where "absolute happiness" is dependent on several "unknown variables." I guess you *could* simplify it that way...
To me though...as a hyper-emotional person...to me it just sounds like a way to logically explain how one could be totally freaked out by the concept of openness and vulnerability.
...as most men are.
I mean...forgive me for looking at this in stereotypes and gender roles but I feel like a lot of the time, I find myself being "such a girl" and the guy I'm dating to be "such a dude." I'm overly sensitive and emotional...I make decisions based on feelings and my heart typically speaks louder than my brain. I am a girl.
With this guy, he's so...stereotypically that guy...that he's just not even sure if he "feels" anything. It's hilarious though...all of my friends have chimed in. There are some who have urged me to run for the hills...get out before we waste more time. And there are some who make excuses and try to convince me that men just take a bit longer to develop feelings.
I see it this way...not that anyone has asked...
This "thing" has been going on for *almost* two months now.
It's superficially perfect.
He calls.
He invites me to do things.
He wants to see me.
He wants to be around me.
He engages me in conversation.
He asks my advice.
He wants me to help him buy new jeans.
He laughs.
He's kind.
Because of all of that...I kinda feel like it's ok to not have some sort of "defined" set of feelings. If he was being flaky or running away...not showing up...not calling...I would worry. But the fact that he's so...present...demonstrates to me that he's open to this whole thing. He enjoys my company and he's definitely not suffering.
It's ok that he wants to be on that quest for "absolute happiness" and I feel like I can accompany him for the time being. I don't feel like I've wasted any time and to give him the opportunity to know me better...and for me to know him...for us to get comfortable with each other...I feel like all of that does actually take time.
The REAL question here...is how *much* time?
I'll have to feel this one out and decide for myself.
For now...I'm happy to just be around him and to know that we're both trying to be open to the idea of vulnerability and companionship.
And that's ok.
The latest on the relationship front here is that my beau is quite a logical thinker. He's so logical, in fact, that he may actually be void of the capacity to feel anything. He actually turned the concept of love and happiness into a mathematical equation where "absolute happiness" is dependent on several "unknown variables." I guess you *could* simplify it that way...
To me though...as a hyper-emotional person...to me it just sounds like a way to logically explain how one could be totally freaked out by the concept of openness and vulnerability.
...as most men are.
I mean...forgive me for looking at this in stereotypes and gender roles but I feel like a lot of the time, I find myself being "such a girl" and the guy I'm dating to be "such a dude." I'm overly sensitive and emotional...I make decisions based on feelings and my heart typically speaks louder than my brain. I am a girl.
With this guy, he's so...stereotypically that guy...that he's just not even sure if he "feels" anything. It's hilarious though...all of my friends have chimed in. There are some who have urged me to run for the hills...get out before we waste more time. And there are some who make excuses and try to convince me that men just take a bit longer to develop feelings.
I see it this way...not that anyone has asked...
This "thing" has been going on for *almost* two months now.
It's superficially perfect.
He calls.
He invites me to do things.
He wants to see me.
He wants to be around me.
He engages me in conversation.
He asks my advice.
He wants me to help him buy new jeans.
He laughs.
He's kind.
Because of all of that...I kinda feel like it's ok to not have some sort of "defined" set of feelings. If he was being flaky or running away...not showing up...not calling...I would worry. But the fact that he's so...present...demonstrates to me that he's open to this whole thing. He enjoys my company and he's definitely not suffering.
It's ok that he wants to be on that quest for "absolute happiness" and I feel like I can accompany him for the time being. I don't feel like I've wasted any time and to give him the opportunity to know me better...and for me to know him...for us to get comfortable with each other...I feel like all of that does actually take time.
The REAL question here...is how *much* time?
I'll have to feel this one out and decide for myself.
For now...I'm happy to just be around him and to know that we're both trying to be open to the idea of vulnerability and companionship.
And that's ok.