Breathing
Breathing. I highly recommend it.
Breathe and count to 10 or something.
I get all worked up about a lot of things and I've found that lately, if I breathe...it helps bring it down a notch.
I sat in therapy today and discussed how difficult it is for me to accept my current reality as...well...reality. Like...things are going so well in several different aspects of my life...so I, of course, assume that it will all crash down around me very soon. I'm trying to think positive and realize that I do deserve some good in my life. Not that I've had this horrible awful life that has never been good...but I should take more time to recognize the good things and appreciate them.
I called my ex today. Not LE. Another ex. The ex that is still very much a part of my life. I'm so lucky to have him in my life...we're honest with each other and we know each other. He knows me so well...it's like looking into a mirror sometimes. So I asked him if we were good when we were together. I'm curious to know how he looks back on that period of intensity. We have all this love and respect for each other...it has always been there and it always will.
Things are different now for us. Obviously. I think the Atlantic Ocean between us helps us stay grounded. We won't be together. We're not meant to be together. But we really love each other and want to be in each other's life. I think this is a unique kind of ex-relationship.
So he tells me that we bickered. We didn't fight. We had these few major issues that eventually caused our demise but as a whole...we were good. I forget what that feels like. I mean...obviously I'm capable of being in a happy and healthy relationship...here is an example of that. He assured me that I'm not a fighter...that I like to be right...but I am compassionate and caring. I made him happy.
"How could you ever think we were unhappy?" he asked. "How could you ever think that we were miserable?"
"I guess it's just been so long since I had that...that I don't remember," I replied.
"You really believe that someone only loves you if it's dramatic and turbulent?" he asked.
"Well...I was hoping that you'd help me remember that that's not the case," I said.
"That's not the case."
So I need to focus on that. And remember it. And breathe.
Being comfortable and calm with someone is a good thing.
And I am capable of happy and healthy relationships.
And I am lovable and kind.
And I deserve good things every once in a while.
Breathe and count to 10 or something.
I get all worked up about a lot of things and I've found that lately, if I breathe...it helps bring it down a notch.
I sat in therapy today and discussed how difficult it is for me to accept my current reality as...well...reality. Like...things are going so well in several different aspects of my life...so I, of course, assume that it will all crash down around me very soon. I'm trying to think positive and realize that I do deserve some good in my life. Not that I've had this horrible awful life that has never been good...but I should take more time to recognize the good things and appreciate them.
I called my ex today. Not LE. Another ex. The ex that is still very much a part of my life. I'm so lucky to have him in my life...we're honest with each other and we know each other. He knows me so well...it's like looking into a mirror sometimes. So I asked him if we were good when we were together. I'm curious to know how he looks back on that period of intensity. We have all this love and respect for each other...it has always been there and it always will.
Things are different now for us. Obviously. I think the Atlantic Ocean between us helps us stay grounded. We won't be together. We're not meant to be together. But we really love each other and want to be in each other's life. I think this is a unique kind of ex-relationship.
So he tells me that we bickered. We didn't fight. We had these few major issues that eventually caused our demise but as a whole...we were good. I forget what that feels like. I mean...obviously I'm capable of being in a happy and healthy relationship...here is an example of that. He assured me that I'm not a fighter...that I like to be right...but I am compassionate and caring. I made him happy.
"How could you ever think we were unhappy?" he asked. "How could you ever think that we were miserable?"
"I guess it's just been so long since I had that...that I don't remember," I replied.
"You really believe that someone only loves you if it's dramatic and turbulent?" he asked.
"Well...I was hoping that you'd help me remember that that's not the case," I said.
"That's not the case."
So I need to focus on that. And remember it. And breathe.
Being comfortable and calm with someone is a good thing.
And I am capable of happy and healthy relationships.
And I am lovable and kind.
And I deserve good things every once in a while.