trapped
There was a time when in Youth Enrichment School where all of us were asked to raise up our hands on who has never been angry with God. I raised my hand then, but I can't if I was asked the same thing now. This phase that I'm in currently, is hard. It tackled my weaknesses, it shows me that I need to change. A critical choice is given that I must choose. To live, or not to live? You want to choose Christ, or side on with darkness?
Knowing that only in Christ do I gain life, I'm trying to get back on the road. Unlike the other times where I went away, where I turned back and walked, this has been my darkest time. Anger with God, apathetic towards life as a whole, finding it bothersome and troublesome to deal with. Why am I living? Sometimes I'd ask myself.
When it comes to a certain point in life, people would have to be serious with their faith, if they still believe. If it was the beginning of this year, I really shone in that area, but now having lost my love for God, being tired of life, being in a course that leaves very little room for needful rest, it's quite hard. I have to discipline myself to read His Word, because that is what can sustain me. I have to fight my feelings, as I'm in the habit of not spending time with Him for so long, in my personal life.
Life is sometimes very tough and hard. I don't know when I will ever get out of here, cause I'm in the midst of rejection-after-rejection of assignments in a particular class, that makes me stupidly think of why I chose this college anyway. But really, if I'd been given another choice, I wouldn't choose this path.
When I think of it now, who knows whether this is really God's plan or it's just the result of my own decision.
Knowing that only in Christ do I gain life, I'm trying to get back on the road. Unlike the other times where I went away, where I turned back and walked, this has been my darkest time. Anger with God, apathetic towards life as a whole, finding it bothersome and troublesome to deal with. Why am I living? Sometimes I'd ask myself.
When it comes to a certain point in life, people would have to be serious with their faith, if they still believe. If it was the beginning of this year, I really shone in that area, but now having lost my love for God, being tired of life, being in a course that leaves very little room for needful rest, it's quite hard. I have to discipline myself to read His Word, because that is what can sustain me. I have to fight my feelings, as I'm in the habit of not spending time with Him for so long, in my personal life.
Life is sometimes very tough and hard. I don't know when I will ever get out of here, cause I'm in the midst of rejection-after-rejection of assignments in a particular class, that makes me stupidly think of why I chose this college anyway. But really, if I'd been given another choice, I wouldn't choose this path.
When I think of it now, who knows whether this is really God's plan or it's just the result of my own decision.