Grace
Despite being a believer, I knew that I had a problem in my belief. I knew that in order to go deeper in with God, to really know and be touched by His love, I had to know this one thing that was missing: His grace. What is His grace? What did He exactly do for me at the cross? Why don't I feel as loved and touched by others about the truth of the cross? I had this struggle, maybe also because I grew up comfortably in a Christian home, supposing to know God "since the day I was born," but I didn't fully understand what grace meant.
God has been and always is a wonderful teacher. By His love and grace (yep), He has been teaching me what His grace meant this past few weeks. Part of His vessel is also my pastor who has started teaching grace recently. I found that grace has very much to do with how you look at yourself and other people. Grace was also poured down after the death of Jesus on the cross where we were no longer held in bondage of the law, but freed by grace. I didn't realise that I was in many areas, a lawful person. I was hard on others (more in my thoughts towards them), and I was also hard on myself.
There were Christians who lived in sin, and when I knew of their sinful ways and the way they lived their life, sometimes I get disgusted when I see them preach about God and worship lead. In short, I was quite/very judgmental, when it came to Christians. It was the same with me too, that I get quite disgusted with myself when I sin. But then I learned more revelational head-knowledge of grace, and started letting go of this lawful mindset, beginning first with being more easy on myself. As I let go of more, I became more rested in God's love, and began understanding more and more of what God's grace meant, and how He really viewed things. I couldn't experience it much before because I held onto the law, and didn't let go of my grip. While doing what is right does have its place, judgment and fear should not come into the picture.
I started resting in His finished work on the cross, and viewed myself as a person who was saved by grace, and also started viewing others not with judgmental eyes, but seeking to also give grace to others, not looking at their weaknesses, because God did not do the same with me. Now I find myself being more grateful for being able to feel and know of when God is with me, when His presence washes over me. This is His grace, this is Him gracing me with His presence and a lot of other things that I do not deserve. This is His love, that He chose to give us this grace that could only be done by sacrificing His son to die for us, and for His Holy Spirit to dwell in us. This is His love, this is His grace.
God has been and always is a wonderful teacher. By His love and grace (yep), He has been teaching me what His grace meant this past few weeks. Part of His vessel is also my pastor who has started teaching grace recently. I found that grace has very much to do with how you look at yourself and other people. Grace was also poured down after the death of Jesus on the cross where we were no longer held in bondage of the law, but freed by grace. I didn't realise that I was in many areas, a lawful person. I was hard on others (more in my thoughts towards them), and I was also hard on myself.
There were Christians who lived in sin, and when I knew of their sinful ways and the way they lived their life, sometimes I get disgusted when I see them preach about God and worship lead. In short, I was quite/very judgmental, when it came to Christians. It was the same with me too, that I get quite disgusted with myself when I sin. But then I learned more revelational head-knowledge of grace, and started letting go of this lawful mindset, beginning first with being more easy on myself. As I let go of more, I became more rested in God's love, and began understanding more and more of what God's grace meant, and how He really viewed things. I couldn't experience it much before because I held onto the law, and didn't let go of my grip. While doing what is right does have its place, judgment and fear should not come into the picture.
I started resting in His finished work on the cross, and viewed myself as a person who was saved by grace, and also started viewing others not with judgmental eyes, but seeking to also give grace to others, not looking at their weaknesses, because God did not do the same with me. Now I find myself being more grateful for being able to feel and know of when God is with me, when His presence washes over me. This is His grace, this is Him gracing me with His presence and a lot of other things that I do not deserve. This is His love, that He chose to give us this grace that could only be done by sacrificing His son to die for us, and for His Holy Spirit to dwell in us. This is His love, this is His grace.