Intimate Embrace
Saturday, the day of Benjamin and Flora's wedding. :) It was a very meaningful day for them, while it was an exciting and also a stressful day for me. Excited for them, the ceremony, and the dinner, but stressed because of assignments. Set my alarm at 4AM but woke up at 6AM instead. Rushed my Perspective Studies 1 assignment while counting the time to see whether I can really fit in everything within these mere, 3 hours. And by God's grace (which I prayed for every 1sec), I managed to finish the assignment on time!
Now that was settled, I jumped into my dad's car right after class ended and ate my lunch in the car. Then I was dropped off at church for choir practice. After that, got changed and had an hour or so to have a drink with Charity, Daniel Sim, and my 2nd bro, plus Julius and Fergarsen awhile later. I was almost dead tired that I kept quiet almost the whole time because my brain could not process the scenes and conversations which were playing out before my eyes. Even when I want to be talkative like I usually am (at most times), I.just.couldn't.
Okay, then on with the ceremony, which was really a time of hearing God's word and praising Him. And the time where the bride walks down from the aisle was just done in one of the most interesting and different ways I've seen. There was no meaningful song playing in the background, but there was the bridegroom playing his guitar while serenading to the bride. Woot!
Dinner was good! Though at the same time I became a bit more dead tired. Then my dad spontaneously told me that he has a tumour in his saliva gland. He said 80% of these cases aren't serious, and I didn't think much about it. I mean, I thought, Okay, he was going to get the operation done on Tuesday, then he'll be fine. But then my imagination came in and imagined how it would turn out if the operation doesn't work out? I think it was because I was tired and couldn't handle myself properly, plus with jealousy and disappointed-in-myself moments during the day, that I became a bit emotional and started having tears in my eyes.
Then my dad said that I didn't need to cry and rubbed my back. So he was considerate and thought it was the right time to leave the dinner. Everyone was also about to leave.
When I got home, I just told God that I'll trust Him no matter what happens, that I'll pray for healing together with other people, but may nothing hinder His will. Let His will be done. As I sat on the floor and cried on my bed, I felt a type of God's presence that I've never felt before; His embrace. It was like a gentle and yet firm cloth that had quite some weight on it that laid on my back. It was truly an intimate moment between God and me. Truly it was. I thank that crying night for making a way for me to experience God in a deeper way. :)
For the other stuff that happened, I guess I'll keep a watch out for my tiredness, cause it makes me quiet. Knowledge of self + 1. XD But I am still a bit disappointed in myself for letting so many diamond chances for me to talk (intentionally kept vague). It was entirely my fault, nevertheless, I'll leave it to God to lead to where this is heading. Maybe something is gradually happening and changing, just that I don't see it?
Now that was settled, I jumped into my dad's car right after class ended and ate my lunch in the car. Then I was dropped off at church for choir practice. After that, got changed and had an hour or so to have a drink with Charity, Daniel Sim, and my 2nd bro, plus Julius and Fergarsen awhile later. I was almost dead tired that I kept quiet almost the whole time because my brain could not process the scenes and conversations which were playing out before my eyes. Even when I want to be talkative like I usually am (at most times), I.just.couldn't.
Okay, then on with the ceremony, which was really a time of hearing God's word and praising Him. And the time where the bride walks down from the aisle was just done in one of the most interesting and different ways I've seen. There was no meaningful song playing in the background, but there was the bridegroom playing his guitar while serenading to the bride. Woot!
Dinner was good! Though at the same time I became a bit more dead tired. Then my dad spontaneously told me that he has a tumour in his saliva gland. He said 80% of these cases aren't serious, and I didn't think much about it. I mean, I thought, Okay, he was going to get the operation done on Tuesday, then he'll be fine. But then my imagination came in and imagined how it would turn out if the operation doesn't work out? I think it was because I was tired and couldn't handle myself properly, plus with jealousy and disappointed-in-myself moments during the day, that I became a bit emotional and started having tears in my eyes.
Then my dad said that I didn't need to cry and rubbed my back. So he was considerate and thought it was the right time to leave the dinner. Everyone was also about to leave.
When I got home, I just told God that I'll trust Him no matter what happens, that I'll pray for healing together with other people, but may nothing hinder His will. Let His will be done. As I sat on the floor and cried on my bed, I felt a type of God's presence that I've never felt before; His embrace. It was like a gentle and yet firm cloth that had quite some weight on it that laid on my back. It was truly an intimate moment between God and me. Truly it was. I thank that crying night for making a way for me to experience God in a deeper way. :)
For the other stuff that happened, I guess I'll keep a watch out for my tiredness, cause it makes me quiet. Knowledge of self + 1. XD But I am still a bit disappointed in myself for letting so many diamond chances for me to talk (intentionally kept vague). It was entirely my fault, nevertheless, I'll leave it to God to lead to where this is heading. Maybe something is gradually happening and changing, just that I don't see it?