Two things that are on my mind
In my last post, I think I overreacted just a little bit... lol... Well anyway, this is what's on my mind:
I seriously think my stepmother needs to chill. She works as an eighth grade math and science teacher in a Chicago Publc School with some of the worst kids you can imagine. How fulfilling is it to go teach unmotivated children, when statistics are against them. When you look at your class and think in the back of your head, he's going to be addicted to a drug, she's going to be pregnant in two years, he's going to jail, and he's going to get shot. I understand she's stressed and coming to this house isn't that much of a haven. Yes, when your oldest son is addicted to marijuana and your daughter does nothing but watches tv and your other daughter is gaining weight like no tomorrow, it's pretty stressful. It doesn't help that my dad has a laissez-faire (sp?) attitude towards parenting. As a matter of fact, its none of my business how they raise their kids. And this is my personal opinion: I really wish my brother would do something other than smoke weed, he was so smart in middle school and he spent his four years in high school on nothing, what was the point of doing all four years when you didn't even get your diploma? I really wish he would show iniative in something else besides smoking... I really wish my sister went outside some, reciting every commercial on tv is not a charming characteristic. And my other little sister actually cried because I wouldn't give her a twinkie and told her to eat a peach instead. All she has to do is puff her face up and she gets what she wants, but I was spoiled when I lived w/ my mother, I know how that works and looking back on it, I was very annoying to my older siblings. I myself am not perfect, I shouldn't drink the way I do, I myself should be more active, but I lost some weight so there :P.
So where was I? Oh yeah, my stepmother... Good lord she yells about everything. Everything must be perfect. We all must read her mind so she may be happy. When I came home, I heard her yell about how the kitchen is not clean. So since right now I don't have a job, I made it my job to keep that kitchen clean, because quite frankly, I was tired of her voice since I was fourteen. Well, that worked out okay. I tell my sisters, "Hey clean your room. So when your mother comes home, she has nothing to yell at you for." My fifteen year old sister goes, "I will, after I watch this America's Next Top Model marathon" My eight year old sister says, "Mommy already told me to, I don't need you tell me." Did they do it? No. Did my stepmother come home and yelled at the top of her lungs? Yes.
The other day, my dad asked me to help him clean out his car, so I did. and there was a paper from my stepmothers class from her student. It looked like a piece of homework. So I say to dad, hey this looks like one of Denise's student's homework assignments. He says, don't throw that away, she might need it. So I put it in the driver's seat of the car she drives. She'll find it there. Well today, she sees it and says, "Who the fuck put this paper in my seat?" I told her I did and she asked me what reason did I have to do that. I said, you weren't home, that's your students homework, I didn't know what to do w/ it, did you want me to throw away your student's homework?" Then she bitches at me about something, but I tuned her out, because there was no reason to get upset at me... just chill.
The other thing on my mind is: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M GOING TO DO AFTER I GRADUATE... That is actually scaring me. I really want to do something in which I use my Japanese. I really want a good paying job, I do not want to have to struggle to make ends meet like my parents are. I don't know if I should apply for grad school and collect more debt, or go to work, pay off the debt now, and worry about grad school later. I don't know where I want to work. I can't see where I will be in the next five years. That's really scary. My family has been asking me what I'm doing after graduation, and I feel ashamed to tell them, I have no idea. I know what I don't want to do. I do not want to teach English in Japan nor do I want to translate legal documents.
woe is me :(
I seriously think my stepmother needs to chill. She works as an eighth grade math and science teacher in a Chicago Publc School with some of the worst kids you can imagine. How fulfilling is it to go teach unmotivated children, when statistics are against them. When you look at your class and think in the back of your head, he's going to be addicted to a drug, she's going to be pregnant in two years, he's going to jail, and he's going to get shot. I understand she's stressed and coming to this house isn't that much of a haven. Yes, when your oldest son is addicted to marijuana and your daughter does nothing but watches tv and your other daughter is gaining weight like no tomorrow, it's pretty stressful. It doesn't help that my dad has a laissez-faire (sp?) attitude towards parenting. As a matter of fact, its none of my business how they raise their kids. And this is my personal opinion: I really wish my brother would do something other than smoke weed, he was so smart in middle school and he spent his four years in high school on nothing, what was the point of doing all four years when you didn't even get your diploma? I really wish he would show iniative in something else besides smoking... I really wish my sister went outside some, reciting every commercial on tv is not a charming characteristic. And my other little sister actually cried because I wouldn't give her a twinkie and told her to eat a peach instead. All she has to do is puff her face up and she gets what she wants, but I was spoiled when I lived w/ my mother, I know how that works and looking back on it, I was very annoying to my older siblings. I myself am not perfect, I shouldn't drink the way I do, I myself should be more active, but I lost some weight so there :P.
So where was I? Oh yeah, my stepmother... Good lord she yells about everything. Everything must be perfect. We all must read her mind so she may be happy. When I came home, I heard her yell about how the kitchen is not clean. So since right now I don't have a job, I made it my job to keep that kitchen clean, because quite frankly, I was tired of her voice since I was fourteen. Well, that worked out okay. I tell my sisters, "Hey clean your room. So when your mother comes home, she has nothing to yell at you for." My fifteen year old sister goes, "I will, after I watch this America's Next Top Model marathon" My eight year old sister says, "Mommy already told me to, I don't need you tell me." Did they do it? No. Did my stepmother come home and yelled at the top of her lungs? Yes.
The other day, my dad asked me to help him clean out his car, so I did. and there was a paper from my stepmothers class from her student. It looked like a piece of homework. So I say to dad, hey this looks like one of Denise's student's homework assignments. He says, don't throw that away, she might need it. So I put it in the driver's seat of the car she drives. She'll find it there. Well today, she sees it and says, "Who the fuck put this paper in my seat?" I told her I did and she asked me what reason did I have to do that. I said, you weren't home, that's your students homework, I didn't know what to do w/ it, did you want me to throw away your student's homework?" Then she bitches at me about something, but I tuned her out, because there was no reason to get upset at me... just chill.
The other thing on my mind is: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M GOING TO DO AFTER I GRADUATE... That is actually scaring me. I really want to do something in which I use my Japanese. I really want a good paying job, I do not want to have to struggle to make ends meet like my parents are. I don't know if I should apply for grad school and collect more debt, or go to work, pay off the debt now, and worry about grad school later. I don't know where I want to work. I can't see where I will be in the next five years. That's really scary. My family has been asking me what I'm doing after graduation, and I feel ashamed to tell them, I have no idea. I know what I don't want to do. I do not want to teach English in Japan nor do I want to translate legal documents.
woe is me :(