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Oct 06, 2008 13:37

My oldest brother apparently worked out Junk on his mandolin a few months back. Sounds beautiful. He's got a new octave mandolin that a friend made for him, and he's been playing a lot of Hendrix and Floyd stuff on it. The Hendrix stuff sounds especially awesome.

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My father told me the other day that Jim and Gordon Bonham won a contest here in Indy. I'm guessing a Blues-related contest. In any case, in February, they go to Memphis for the international portion? Here's hoping they win that, too.

Also, apparently my brothers performed for family a few weeks back at my mother's house (they haven't done this in ages and did it for my grandfather who's supposedly dying from cancer). Only one day after the fact does my mother mention this to me.

Mom: Jim and Phil came to the house and played for us yesterday. I haven't heard my boys play in years!

Me: (teeth grinding) Oh, really? I wish I could have been there. I haven't been with them in the same room (with the exception of Grandma's funeral) since high school (and now I'm old enough to join in, dammit).

Mom: I don't know why I didn't think to invite you! It slipped my mind!

Me: ... [facepalm.jpg]

My oldest nephew, Andrew (Phil's son), even played a song he'd learned. God dammit.

Why do people in my family forget that I am musically-inclined, too? Fuck, it's like days of old where Jim and Phil are the awesome ones, and I'm just the retarded little sister. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong to this family.

Sigh.

I miss doing things together. I still remember a tape of songs Phil and I made when I was little. I think Mom and Dad had just separated.

I wish I could have been good enough (or old enough) to go on stage with them.

Now I am, but I'm too old, too far away, and too scared that I'll never measure up. Yes, they are that damn good.

Of course, I suppose I shouldn't worry. Mr. Hyde told me time and again that I was good enough to get into Juilliard...but who knows if he was just saying that shit to be nice.

I miss singing.
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