(no subject)
I'm still fucked at the moment.. I'm still trying to figure out if I even want to bother going out on my two days off... I'm sure I'll just try to meet someone while I'm there, and I'm getting sick of disappointment. I just want to bury myself in warcraft... and drink my Smirnoff.. cause everyone is busy with their own lives and I'm sick of mine. Maybe I wouldn't be so depressed if I had gotten a call.. Maybe I would have.. The guys at work tried to cheer me up by making stupid suggestions and whatnot. Granted it was amusing but, once again here I am.. alone and with no one to talk to... I just want a companion, fuck getting laid at this point. I just want to be able to be with someone who will keep me company... I miss Megan... She was good for me, she would let me get my misguided affections out of my system without any damage done. I'm pretty sure she doesn't know about my LJ.. in fact I think Jer and Derek are the only two that would be able to read it and talk to her, but what I'm saying doesn't matter. She's the type of girl I want... If there was another girl just like her but straight, and over 18 I would do anything to be with her. Melissa was the closest I have come to meeting a girl that I can enjoy myself with, that I've dated atleast... I can enjoy myself with Megan but she's with Ashley and that doesn't work out for me. Unfortunately I fucked things up bad with Melissa, and now she's busy with other things and seeing someone else... I hate being cursed in love. I don't care how much people say they've had worse relationships, or how young I am... I know that in the future I'm still going to fuck up my next relationship.. I'm admitting to the fact that I do want an long term relationship. I can't be casual, like I thought and it was stupid of me to try. Why do LJ's have to always be so depressing? Is it because this is where we go to tell about the things that we don't want to talk to anyone about.. Does it serve as that "little bird" that whispers in our friends ears, letting them know how we are and why we are upset? Or is this just a cheap form of therapy?
Why can only bees and hummingbirds fly back-wards? Are other flying animals and insects just scared?
Sometimes I wish I had real raccoon powers so I could turn to a statue and disappear..
Why can only bees and hummingbirds fly back-wards? Are other flying animals and insects just scared?
Sometimes I wish I had real raccoon powers so I could turn to a statue and disappear..