Boney Joan Returns!
Sometimes the 'Net is a great place. I received this email the other day from someone who'd found her way to my old Las Vegas Weekly column about the Boney Joan Rule:
Email from Diana from NYC:
Dear Frank,
I came across your amusing article about the Boney Joan rule by chance on the 'net.
Maybe you dislike Joan Baez's singing not because of your parents but - because she's the WORST SINGER EVER?
My two cents.
Truly, I have never heard such bad singing, ever. And I've heard a lot of singing. She doesn't sing the song - she sings her voice. Every goddam song it's the same thing: "listen to my gorgeous voice! Listen to my amazing vibrato!!"
Well her voice isn't gorgeous and her vibrato sounds like Tiny Tim on acid. I have no idea what anyone "heard" in this voice.
My suspicion is that she came along at the right time and the right place and had the right look. She was very beautiful when young women were sick of teasing and spraying their hair. In that her impact was exactly the same as Mary Travers, another bad singer. But the flowing blond natural hair was gorgeous.
Regards,
Diana from NYC
koganbot replied:
You made me smile.
Despite Joan's horrid singing, and despite her not writing many songs herself, she surely inspired a lot of women to get into music who might not have otherwise, was at the headwaters of the female singer-songwriter wave that hasn't yet subsided, including women with less impressive voices who sang a lot better. (Taylor Swift is my favorite singer at the moment, despite a lot of obvious weaknesses in her instrument, which weaknesses she turns to expressive effect; I don't know if she'd trace any of her musical ancestry back to Baez, but she should, Baez is in there, not in the sense of Taylor singing in anything like the style of Baez, but rather in conveying a type of femininity that was developed by Janis Ian and Judy Collins (whom I did like, and she kept changing her hair color, like a '60s Ashlee Simpson!) and Joni Mitchell and Laura Nyro and on from there.)
Also, some songs Baez sang were worth hearing on their own account. That record that my parents brought into the house was the first I heard "Banks Of The Ohio" and "Long Black Veil."
Diana from NYC replied in return:
Hi Frank,
Baez always had superb taste. Can't fault her there. The Anglo-American folk ballads she chose were hauntingly beautiful. While it may not be totally accurate that she "discovered" Dylan she sure gave him a huge boost and i think it's fair to say his career wouldn't have gone in quite the direction it did if she hadn't helped him.
Did she inspire loads of women to become singer-songwriters? I am not as sure as you, but I think it's a fair supposition.
I have a confession to make. I used to like Baez. I fell under her aura as an adolescent and for a short time acted like a mini-Joan, including lecturing people about non-violence. So, sometimes I think that my dislike of her is somewhat unfair. Then I give her another try, an honest try...and I end up in the same place: she sucks!
Listen to her butchering that gorgeous song, AND THE BAND PLAYED WALTZING MATILDA (on Youtube, replete with fake-a-zoid Oirish accent). Listen to her flabby gutless JOE HILL on the Woodstock DVD.
Bad, bad singing.
One thing I'd like to point out. I am not an opera singer but I have taken singing lessons. Baez's voice is nothing like a trained opera singer. The point of opera singing isn't to create an artificial instrument, but to free up the breathing mechanism, coordinate the muscles, and create a gorgeous big piping wind instrument capable of running the singing marathon known as a full length opera.
In this it is very like marathon running. Running is a totally natural movement. Running a marathon takes training. But the movement itself is completely natural. Same goes for opera singing. There are many pop singers who do all kinds of crazy shit with their voices into a microphone - this is unnatural. A great opera singer at full blast is completely natural.
What Baez did was unnatural. Her vibrato was forced and pinched. Her sound production was forced. If you consult the Woodstock DVD in which she sings JOE HILL you'll see what I mean. There are half a dozen instances where she does her patented glum stare and keep a note going a beat longer than it has to (distorting the song), through half-parted lips, just to show us what amazing breath control she has.
It's unbearably awful.
Regards,
Diana from NYC
PS
To give you examples of smooth, easy, unaffected (and unshowoff) singers whose music I don't necessarily listen to:
Tony Bennett
Bing Crosby
Like butter.
D
Email from Diana from NYC:
Dear Frank,
I came across your amusing article about the Boney Joan rule by chance on the 'net.
Maybe you dislike Joan Baez's singing not because of your parents but - because she's the WORST SINGER EVER?
My two cents.
Truly, I have never heard such bad singing, ever. And I've heard a lot of singing. She doesn't sing the song - she sings her voice. Every goddam song it's the same thing: "listen to my gorgeous voice! Listen to my amazing vibrato!!"
Well her voice isn't gorgeous and her vibrato sounds like Tiny Tim on acid. I have no idea what anyone "heard" in this voice.
My suspicion is that she came along at the right time and the right place and had the right look. She was very beautiful when young women were sick of teasing and spraying their hair. In that her impact was exactly the same as Mary Travers, another bad singer. But the flowing blond natural hair was gorgeous.
Regards,
Diana from NYC
koganbot replied:
You made me smile.
Despite Joan's horrid singing, and despite her not writing many songs herself, she surely inspired a lot of women to get into music who might not have otherwise, was at the headwaters of the female singer-songwriter wave that hasn't yet subsided, including women with less impressive voices who sang a lot better. (Taylor Swift is my favorite singer at the moment, despite a lot of obvious weaknesses in her instrument, which weaknesses she turns to expressive effect; I don't know if she'd trace any of her musical ancestry back to Baez, but she should, Baez is in there, not in the sense of Taylor singing in anything like the style of Baez, but rather in conveying a type of femininity that was developed by Janis Ian and Judy Collins (whom I did like, and she kept changing her hair color, like a '60s Ashlee Simpson!) and Joni Mitchell and Laura Nyro and on from there.)
Also, some songs Baez sang were worth hearing on their own account. That record that my parents brought into the house was the first I heard "Banks Of The Ohio" and "Long Black Veil."
Diana from NYC replied in return:
Hi Frank,
Baez always had superb taste. Can't fault her there. The Anglo-American folk ballads she chose were hauntingly beautiful. While it may not be totally accurate that she "discovered" Dylan she sure gave him a huge boost and i think it's fair to say his career wouldn't have gone in quite the direction it did if she hadn't helped him.
Did she inspire loads of women to become singer-songwriters? I am not as sure as you, but I think it's a fair supposition.
I have a confession to make. I used to like Baez. I fell under her aura as an adolescent and for a short time acted like a mini-Joan, including lecturing people about non-violence. So, sometimes I think that my dislike of her is somewhat unfair. Then I give her another try, an honest try...and I end up in the same place: she sucks!
Listen to her butchering that gorgeous song, AND THE BAND PLAYED WALTZING MATILDA (on Youtube, replete with fake-a-zoid Oirish accent). Listen to her flabby gutless JOE HILL on the Woodstock DVD.
Bad, bad singing.
One thing I'd like to point out. I am not an opera singer but I have taken singing lessons. Baez's voice is nothing like a trained opera singer. The point of opera singing isn't to create an artificial instrument, but to free up the breathing mechanism, coordinate the muscles, and create a gorgeous big piping wind instrument capable of running the singing marathon known as a full length opera.
In this it is very like marathon running. Running is a totally natural movement. Running a marathon takes training. But the movement itself is completely natural. Same goes for opera singing. There are many pop singers who do all kinds of crazy shit with their voices into a microphone - this is unnatural. A great opera singer at full blast is completely natural.
What Baez did was unnatural. Her vibrato was forced and pinched. Her sound production was forced. If you consult the Woodstock DVD in which she sings JOE HILL you'll see what I mean. There are half a dozen instances where she does her patented glum stare and keep a note going a beat longer than it has to (distorting the song), through half-parted lips, just to show us what amazing breath control she has.
It's unbearably awful.
Regards,
Diana from NYC
PS
To give you examples of smooth, easy, unaffected (and unshowoff) singers whose music I don't necessarily listen to:
Tony Bennett
Bing Crosby
Like butter.
D