I rant, rave, chafe @ strictures & have an excuse to use my new P*ssed Off & Pugnacious icon
A pet peeve about onerous rules on LJ. I was excited because I finally get to use my new P*ssed Off and Pugnacious Icon in earnest.
The problem is, after I finished ranting, I wasn't that cranky anymore and then mellowdee made me laugh with her John-Sheppard-esque habit of naming things Steve.
Nonetheless, I cannot pass up the opportunity to use the Extremely Winsome P*ssed Off and Pugnacious Icon Nemo icon created by bennet_7.
A while back, I joined a really great Stargate Atlantis community called lostcityfound. It's a wonderful community for het and gen, SGA fic and a haven for those of us who don't want to wade through endless Sheppard/McKay. Don't get me wrong, ship and let ship but there are so many communities for that pairing out there that it's nice to have a comm that has Other Stuff.
The rules of the community are here. They are somewhat draconian but I always believe that every moderator has the right to set their own rules and guidelines for a community. You can even say that everyone has to post using pink comic sans serif font if you want - it's all voluntary and opt in. If people don't want to comply, they can leave at any time.
That being said, I have a strong dislike for a lot of the meta-fields that are required in many communities. At the time I joined the community, the meta-fields were being enforced quite loosely. I've already mentioned before that I find the disclaimer language that is often imposed somewhat annoying simply because it is completely without any enforceability or protective value.
Recently, I posted a John/Elizabeth story called Paper Aeroplanes and now my small tale of peevish rebellion begins.
This is what I posted in the link to my story:
Subject heading: Ficlet: Paper Aeroplanes (G) (John/Elizabeth)
Title: Paper Aeroplanes
Characters: John/Elizabeth
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis, all characters, and all images are © Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc., the SciFi Channel, and Acme Shark.
Notes: Set some time after 'The Real World.' A little scribble that appeared in my head during the cab ride to work this morning (jostling its way in between thoughts of asset contributions and SASAC approvals). It is tiny, but the cab ride is only 10 minutes long after all ;)
Many thanks to kiaforrest for all her help :)
Also, John/Sheppard-centric thoughts on the episode The Real World plus a small tag are here.
I had read the rules of the community when joining, but like I said adherence to the meta-fields rule had not, until then been strictly enforced.
Nonetheless, despite being a stubborn Midnight Cow, I compromised by actually putting in a legally correct (albeit still toothless and totally worthless disclaimer) even though I still maintain that they are totally retarded.
Alas, my compliance to the spirit of the law and not the letter of the law made me fall foul of The 12 Commandments and so I was asked (very politely by the way) to correct my post and complete the following meta fields that were now going to be enforced strictly:
Title:
Author:
Author's e-mail/website: (e-mail is not required to post fic, but recommended)
Summary:
Type / Pairings: (spell out the character names to avoid confusion, please)
Main characters:
Rating:
Warnings:
Spoilers: (if applicable)
Beta:
Disclaimer: (please protect us all by mentioning that you don't own these characters)
Author's Notes:
Feedback:
Some of you may remember that the other day I was feeling extremely WTF about what I termed Icon Insanity and the growing ridiculousness and lengthiness of some of the 'rules' that some icon makers are purporting to impose because people can use their icons..... I already shake my head at the insanely long and complex friends policies I see (please leave a blood sample and your passport).
The mistake was probably reading the meta-field slap over the paw before I had finished imbibing in my double shot, grande skim cappuccino from Starbucks.
Warning to the world - do not speak to koala before her morning coffee, the chances of encountering Evil Koala are high..
This particular comm is just one example of several. It just happened to be the one to catch my eye while I was in a de-caffeinated condition, having a mild case of angry pills and felt like venting my spleen over a subject that has been stewing in my head for a some time now.
Title: [Comment from me: Fine. ]
Author: [Comment from me: I posted it. The assumption is that I wrote it. If I am posting on someone else's behalf, presumably I would say so because the 'LJ Shaming' sanction on livejournal is quite strong]
Author's e-mail/website: (e-mail is not required to post fic, but recommended) [Comment from me: Unnecessary, if people want to leave feedback, comments are sufficient. If I want people to see my website, my livejournal profile page will contain a link. My email is also on my livejournal profile page. Not everyone wants to be emailed]
Summary: [Comment from me: All right. It's reasonable. I don't really like posting summaries for stories, but it's not an unreasonable requirement. I'm not very good at writing summaries. If people want to read or not, I'd rather they just took their chances instead of basing it on the summary. Nonetheless, I'll usually try to give some kind of description so that people can get a feel for the sort of story that it is rather than a summary as such]
Type / Pairings: (spell out the character names to avoid confusion, please) [Comment from me: Fine. I always put this in the subject line and I also have a 'characters' field. Also, given that the community is for predominantly het and gen fic, I think it is probably safe to assume that it is not a slash fic, although if there was going to be a secondary slash pairing, presumably I would put that in my notes].
Main characters: [Comment from me: OK this seems redundant, because under 'characters', I will normally write the main pairing and any key characters that appear]
Rating: [Comment from me: Fine. I put this in, although I usually already put this in the subject line]
Warnings: [Comment from me: I put my warnings in my notes. ]
Spoilers: (if applicable) [Comment from me: I put my spoiler warnings in my notes and I always state which episode upon which the fic is based - one can logically draw the conclusion that there will be spoilers up to an including that episode]
Beta: [Comment from me: Lately, I have realised that I am coming to dislike the word beta. It is not an irrational seething loathing and hatred such as I have for 'word' (ie. I agree), 'flist', 'friending', 'defriending', 'unfriending', 'concrit me', feedback me' but in any case, my notes always include a thank you to whoever was the unfortunate reviewer/editor/guineapig of my fic.]
Disclaimer: (please protect us all by mentioning that you don't own these characters) [Comment from me: I've mentioned before that disclaimers on fan fic are totally, totally worthless. It's like me stealing your car and saying: 'Hey there - I know I'm stealing your car, it's not my car, it's your car. *group hug group hug* *la la la*'. Nonetheless, when posting to a comm these days I will try to comply with this requirement even though I'm rolling my eyes as I do so :P ]
Author's Notes: [Comment from me: This is where I usually put most of the information that I think people need to know.]
Feedback: [Comment from me: Ummm. Presumably this is where I write: 'Yes please', 'no thanks', 'only good feedback', 'feedback makes me write more', 'yes sir yes sir three bags full', 'yes but only if it's written in ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics or complex Chinese characters in 8 point Book Antiqua font while facing North by North West and holding a hawk and a handsaw?']
I know why rules are necessary, but the above guidelines for meta-field completion, evoke in me feelings of frustration that until recently were reserved solely for the Not Quite the Bridge of Khazad-Dûm - yes, O 'tis a dangerous thing to read such things before having imbibed in my double shot, grande skim cappuccino ... O yes indeed it is.
I just want to get across the bloody road, ok? As long as the substance of the information is provided - what does it matter what the format is?
Rational Koala pondered the above stipulations. Yes. Sometimes people are careless. Sometimes they forget to include salient warnings and information unless prompted. I don't want to read a fic in which I'm not warned that there is a rape, there is a character death, there's an original character, there are spoilers - but that's why the user information for a community is so important. The rules remind people to make sure that they include the information that is required.
Jurisprudes out there can criticise me and say:
"What would our society be if everyone was like you and decided to take the law into his/her own paws and interpret what he/she thinks is the spirit and intention of the law rather than complying with its substance.
It would be anarchy.
It would be a Hobbesian society where the life of man was solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.
Bad koala!
How swiftly you have forgotten les théories du contrat social as expounded by the great philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau!
Die! Die! Die you evil pod person! (we mean you koala, not the Great JJR!) *stab stab stab!*"
Fair point. I suppose I sort of agree. That's the Law, though. It's very different from a voluntary, opt-in community that is supposed to be providing me with enjoyment and entertainment.
I am a firm believer of the concept: "if you go into someone else's house you play by their rules".
Peevish, rebellious koala doesn't really feel like playing by those rules. If I posted to the above community again, I would feel obliged to follow those rules.
Given that I find the rules excessive and onerous, notwithstanding how much I like the community - I have unsubscribed and will rely on sga_newsletter and my lovable friends list to keep me up to date with good fic recommendations.
I know I sound disgruntled, out of sorts and more than a little irrational, but you have to give people a little bit of leeway and flexibility and try to trust that that people with a half a brain are going to give warnings about character death, spoilers.
I'm not a 2 year old.
I'm old damnit.
Just for comparison, I looked at the rules for cedrichermione, a comm run by the sweet and lovable mellowdee (John Sheppard's soulmate ;).
The rules are here:
» Rules!
1. ALL spoilers and images over 500px in width MUST behind an LJ-CUT -- TUTORIAL HERE. Make the LJ-cut your best friend ever.
2. ANY adult fic/art recs should always have a clear warning of so.
3. NO flaming/bashing of users, HP characters, other ships, your mom, etc. Peace and love.
4. NO promotion of any kind unless it directly relates to Cedric and/or Hermione. If you aren't sure, just ask! Never hurts.
5. NO stealing the layout or graphics. All coding and graphics by mellowdee. Credited accordingly if not.
To the best of my knowledge, we have never had any problems at that community.
Okay, let's look to BSG fandom which is usually a hotbed poutiness, dissent, angst, melodramatic my ship is bigger than your ship ravings. Here we have hidden_elysium, moderated by shadowserenity who rules with a velvet glove not an iron fist.
The rules are here:
Rules (a few and all simple):
Posting:
Fanfiction
From time to time, I have seen shadowserenity go into mod mode but she is always polite, her rules are to enhance the enjoyment of all - spoilers, warnings and lj-cuts. She has no arbitrary rules about formatting.
beyond_insane, of which the very moderate ancarett is a co-moderator has a lot of rules, but the rules for fan fiction are simple:
1. If posting fanfiction, it must be under an LJ cut.
2. All stories must focus on Lee, Kara or Kara/Lee.
3. The following information must be provided for all stories posted. Title, author, rating, summary, spoilers and a disclaimer (before the cut).
Notice something in common about all of the above?
Substance over form. As long as you make sure you get the requisite information in the details above the cut, you have discharged your obligations.
I've said it before until I am Blue in the face. I am not a writer, I have no training as a writer. I never studied creative writing. I do not have a creative bone in my pathetic body. Even though I love reading, I didn't study lit in uni, choosing philosophy and political science as my minors because I knew that while I'd always read for fun, I needed the 'compulsive force' of exams and essays to compel me to study something I might not necessary 'do' in my spare time (ergo the political science and philosophy).
I scribble fan fic for my own gratification because I need closure. When I see, read, hear things, I dream/imagine/see missing scenes, moments, conversations and images in my head and they're so compelling that I cannot help but to write them down even if no one else ever reads them except me. Some of my favourite, favourite fics that I have written have received no feedback at all or have never been shown to anyone else - and yet I am still happy with them because I wrote what I wanted to 'see' and thus was able to fool myself into thinking that it took place. :)
In the past, my scribbles stayed locked up on my hard drive in word documents that were password protected or scrawled in diaries. These days I share some of the fic because it's obvious to me that there are other people who seem to be imagining the same missing scenes that I do. I know that I've often been spared the hassle of scribbling a fic just because someone else out there has already imagined the scene and written it out for me.
I don't hold any hard feelings towards the above community. Hell, if I ran a comm I'd probably be the most Evil Overlord out there, storming around with a black cloak (that bears an uncanny resemblance to an elven cloak), my own Evil Theme Music blaring through haunting pan pipes ... but I regard 'matters online' as being for almost unadulterated fun, self-gratification, relaxation and self-expression. The moment it feels not so fun anymore, the moment it starts to smack of being onerous and restrictive, then I will back away, paws held up in the air warily ...
In the 'old days', I used to chat on mailing lists and discussion fora for Robin McKinley, Due South, Jane Austen, Georgette Heyer, musicals etc. Then I discovered usenet - a profoundly fascinating and scary world filled with obsessiveness and interesting conversation. I would 'talk' a lot.
When I first started out on LJ, my own journal was purely for writing my own thoughts and I'd go and 'chat' in communities. As time passed, I began to use communities purely as a means to obtain and pass on information and these days I do almost zero discussion/chatting in communities. I retreated to my own journal and the journals of those on my friends list where topics are more flexible, de facto 'communities' form more organically and are less organised.
Organised comms still have a function, but I just realised when typing this post that I have retreated away from communities more and more. My forays into fandom are becoming increasingly cautious and and I'm wary - all opinions are posted here not there. There are a whole bunch of reasons.
Maybe I'm becoming the LJ equivalent of a hermit. Perhaps one day I (and my Stupid Thoughts) will retreat to some cave in a high, rocky, lonely mountain beside the lake at the end of the world. Only the most intrepid of explorers will be able to find me because they really don't want to deal with the hassle of rolling spiky Indiana Jones Boulders of Death (randomness), dangerous crevasses (posts where the word count almost exceeds the LJ limit), risk being crushed by a landslide (giant pic spam with too many images) and the risk of permanent insanity (any exposure for any period of time to Evil Koala).
To take this sad and lonely story to its logical end, what if it ends with some hardy hero deciding to put me out of my misery by poisoning me with hemlock. *choke*
I came to the end of this post and realised that i have managed to read 3,000 + words on - nothing :)
Gawd.
*shakes head in disbelief*
*covers eyes with paws and staggers off*
The problem is, after I finished ranting, I wasn't that cranky anymore and then mellowdee made me laugh with her John-Sheppard-esque habit of naming things Steve.
Nonetheless, I cannot pass up the opportunity to use the Extremely Winsome P*ssed Off and Pugnacious Icon Nemo icon created by bennet_7.
A while back, I joined a really great Stargate Atlantis community called lostcityfound. It's a wonderful community for het and gen, SGA fic and a haven for those of us who don't want to wade through endless Sheppard/McKay. Don't get me wrong, ship and let ship but there are so many communities for that pairing out there that it's nice to have a comm that has Other Stuff.
The rules of the community are here. They are somewhat draconian but I always believe that every moderator has the right to set their own rules and guidelines for a community. You can even say that everyone has to post using pink comic sans serif font if you want - it's all voluntary and opt in. If people don't want to comply, they can leave at any time.
That being said, I have a strong dislike for a lot of the meta-fields that are required in many communities. At the time I joined the community, the meta-fields were being enforced quite loosely. I've already mentioned before that I find the disclaimer language that is often imposed somewhat annoying simply because it is completely without any enforceability or protective value.
Recently, I posted a John/Elizabeth story called Paper Aeroplanes and now my small tale of peevish rebellion begins.
This is what I posted in the link to my story:
Subject heading: Ficlet: Paper Aeroplanes (G) (John/Elizabeth)
Title: Paper Aeroplanes
Characters: John/Elizabeth
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis, all characters, and all images are © Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc., the SciFi Channel, and Acme Shark.
Notes: Set some time after 'The Real World.' A little scribble that appeared in my head during the cab ride to work this morning (jostling its way in between thoughts of asset contributions and SASAC approvals). It is tiny, but the cab ride is only 10 minutes long after all ;)
Many thanks to kiaforrest for all her help :)
Also, John/Sheppard-centric thoughts on the episode The Real World plus a small tag are here.
I had read the rules of the community when joining, but like I said adherence to the meta-fields rule had not, until then been strictly enforced.
Nonetheless, despite being a stubborn Midnight Cow, I compromised by actually putting in a legally correct (albeit still toothless and totally worthless disclaimer) even though I still maintain that they are totally retarded.
Alas, my compliance to the spirit of the law and not the letter of the law made me fall foul of The 12 Commandments and so I was asked (very politely by the way) to correct my post and complete the following meta fields that were now going to be enforced strictly:
Title:
Author:
Author's e-mail/website: (e-mail is not required to post fic, but recommended)
Summary:
Type / Pairings: (spell out the character names to avoid confusion, please)
Main characters:
Rating:
Warnings:
Spoilers: (if applicable)
Beta:
Disclaimer: (please protect us all by mentioning that you don't own these characters)
Author's Notes:
Feedback:
Some of you may remember that the other day I was feeling extremely WTF about what I termed Icon Insanity and the growing ridiculousness and lengthiness of some of the 'rules' that some icon makers are purporting to impose because people can use their icons..... I already shake my head at the insanely long and complex friends policies I see (please leave a blood sample and your passport).
The mistake was probably reading the meta-field slap over the paw before I had finished imbibing in my double shot, grande skim cappuccino from Starbucks.
Warning to the world - do not speak to koala before her morning coffee, the chances of encountering Evil Koala are high..
This particular comm is just one example of several. It just happened to be the one to catch my eye while I was in a de-caffeinated condition, having a mild case of angry pills and felt like venting my spleen over a subject that has been stewing in my head for a some time now.
Title: [Comment from me: Fine. ]
Author: [Comment from me: I posted it. The assumption is that I wrote it. If I am posting on someone else's behalf, presumably I would say so because the 'LJ Shaming' sanction on livejournal is quite strong]
Author's e-mail/website: (e-mail is not required to post fic, but recommended) [Comment from me: Unnecessary, if people want to leave feedback, comments are sufficient. If I want people to see my website, my livejournal profile page will contain a link. My email is also on my livejournal profile page. Not everyone wants to be emailed]
Summary: [Comment from me: All right. It's reasonable. I don't really like posting summaries for stories, but it's not an unreasonable requirement. I'm not very good at writing summaries. If people want to read or not, I'd rather they just took their chances instead of basing it on the summary. Nonetheless, I'll usually try to give some kind of description so that people can get a feel for the sort of story that it is rather than a summary as such]
Type / Pairings: (spell out the character names to avoid confusion, please) [Comment from me: Fine. I always put this in the subject line and I also have a 'characters' field. Also, given that the community is for predominantly het and gen fic, I think it is probably safe to assume that it is not a slash fic, although if there was going to be a secondary slash pairing, presumably I would put that in my notes].
Main characters: [Comment from me: OK this seems redundant, because under 'characters', I will normally write the main pairing and any key characters that appear]
Rating: [Comment from me: Fine. I put this in, although I usually already put this in the subject line]
Warnings: [Comment from me: I put my warnings in my notes. ]
Spoilers: (if applicable) [Comment from me: I put my spoiler warnings in my notes and I always state which episode upon which the fic is based - one can logically draw the conclusion that there will be spoilers up to an including that episode]
Beta: [Comment from me: Lately, I have realised that I am coming to dislike the word beta. It is not an irrational seething loathing and hatred such as I have for 'word' (ie. I agree), 'flist', 'friending', 'defriending', 'unfriending', 'concrit me', feedback me' but in any case, my notes always include a thank you to whoever was the unfortunate reviewer/editor/guineapig of my fic.]
Disclaimer: (please protect us all by mentioning that you don't own these characters) [Comment from me: I've mentioned before that disclaimers on fan fic are totally, totally worthless. It's like me stealing your car and saying: 'Hey there - I know I'm stealing your car, it's not my car, it's your car. *group hug group hug* *la la la*'. Nonetheless, when posting to a comm these days I will try to comply with this requirement even though I'm rolling my eyes as I do so :P ]
Author's Notes: [Comment from me: This is where I usually put most of the information that I think people need to know.]
Feedback: [Comment from me: Ummm. Presumably this is where I write: 'Yes please', 'no thanks', 'only good feedback', 'feedback makes me write more', 'yes sir yes sir three bags full', 'yes but only if it's written in ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics or complex Chinese characters in 8 point Book Antiqua font while facing North by North West and holding a hawk and a handsaw?']
I know why rules are necessary, but the above guidelines for meta-field completion, evoke in me feelings of frustration that until recently were reserved solely for the Not Quite the Bridge of Khazad-Dûm - yes, O 'tis a dangerous thing to read such things before having imbibed in my double shot, grande skim cappuccino ... O yes indeed it is.
I just want to get across the bloody road, ok? As long as the substance of the information is provided - what does it matter what the format is?
Rational Koala pondered the above stipulations. Yes. Sometimes people are careless. Sometimes they forget to include salient warnings and information unless prompted. I don't want to read a fic in which I'm not warned that there is a rape, there is a character death, there's an original character, there are spoilers - but that's why the user information for a community is so important. The rules remind people to make sure that they include the information that is required.
Jurisprudes out there can criticise me and say:
"What would our society be if everyone was like you and decided to take the law into his/her own paws and interpret what he/she thinks is the spirit and intention of the law rather than complying with its substance.
It would be anarchy.
It would be a Hobbesian society where the life of man was solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.
Bad koala!
How swiftly you have forgotten les théories du contrat social as expounded by the great philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau!
Die! Die! Die you evil pod person! (we mean you koala, not the Great JJR!) *stab stab stab!*"
Fair point. I suppose I sort of agree. That's the Law, though. It's very different from a voluntary, opt-in community that is supposed to be providing me with enjoyment and entertainment.
I am a firm believer of the concept: "if you go into someone else's house you play by their rules".
Peevish, rebellious koala doesn't really feel like playing by those rules. If I posted to the above community again, I would feel obliged to follow those rules.
Given that I find the rules excessive and onerous, notwithstanding how much I like the community - I have unsubscribed and will rely on sga_newsletter and my lovable friends list to keep me up to date with good fic recommendations.
I know I sound disgruntled, out of sorts and more than a little irrational, but you have to give people a little bit of leeway and flexibility and try to trust that that people with a half a brain are going to give warnings about character death, spoilers.
I'm not a 2 year old.
I'm old damnit.
Just for comparison, I looked at the rules for cedrichermione, a comm run by the sweet and lovable mellowdee (John Sheppard's soulmate ;).
The rules are here:
» Rules!
1. ALL spoilers and images over 500px in width MUST behind an LJ-CUT -- TUTORIAL HERE. Make the LJ-cut your best friend ever.
2. ANY adult fic/art recs should always have a clear warning of so.
3. NO flaming/bashing of users, HP characters, other ships, your mom, etc. Peace and love.
4. NO promotion of any kind unless it directly relates to Cedric and/or Hermione. If you aren't sure, just ask! Never hurts.
5. NO stealing the layout or graphics. All coding and graphics by mellowdee. Credited accordingly if not.
To the best of my knowledge, we have never had any problems at that community.
Okay, let's look to BSG fandom which is usually a hotbed poutiness, dissent, angst, melodramatic my ship is bigger than your ship ravings. Here we have hidden_elysium, moderated by shadowserenity who rules with a velvet glove not an iron fist.
The rules are here:
Rules (a few and all simple):
Posting:
- No rants or flaming others. Be respectful. Can't we just all get along?
- Discussion posts longer than 15 lines must go under the now infamous lj cut.
- Episode discussion is lovely and encouraged.
- All spoilers should be clearly labelled and placed under an lj cut.
- You may post spoilers and speculation that isn't Helo or Boomer related.
- Do not post someone else's work and then claim it as your own. That goes for both fanfiction and fan art/multimedia.
Fanfiction
- They must be on topic. Meaning, they've all got to feature, at least, Boomer or Helo.
- Character pieces aren't just fun for everyone, they go here too (just Helo and Boomer by themselves).
- Fics of other characters and pairings that don't involve Boomer or Helo don't belong here, sadly enough.
- Other Helo or Boomer pairings (i.e. Apollo/Sharon, Helo/Starbuck, Tyrol/Sharon, Six/Helo) are welcome.
- Fanfics should be under lj cuts. That goes for drabbles, too.
- All fanfics should have: title, author, rating, spoilers/timeline, a disclaimer, a summary.
- Run your fiction through a spellchecker before posting.
- Helo/Boomer art is coveted and welcome.
- Just Helo or just Boomer is fine, as well.
- Anything else, not *so* much.
- Any kind of fan art is fine (wallpapers, mood themes, whatever).
- And that said fanart? Should go under an LJ cut. If they're icons, two or three teasers are fine.
- Specify whether users are permitted to "adopt" your artwork. Posting guidelines (i.e. whether you want people to comment and claim or give specific credit to you) is advisable.
From time to time, I have seen shadowserenity go into mod mode but she is always polite, her rules are to enhance the enjoyment of all - spoilers, warnings and lj-cuts. She has no arbitrary rules about formatting.
beyond_insane, of which the very moderate ancarett is a co-moderator has a lot of rules, but the rules for fan fiction are simple:
1. If posting fanfiction, it must be under an LJ cut.
2. All stories must focus on Lee, Kara or Kara/Lee.
3. The following information must be provided for all stories posted. Title, author, rating, summary, spoilers and a disclaimer (before the cut).
Notice something in common about all of the above?
Substance over form. As long as you make sure you get the requisite information in the details above the cut, you have discharged your obligations.
I've said it before until I am Blue in the face. I am not a writer, I have no training as a writer. I never studied creative writing. I do not have a creative bone in my pathetic body. Even though I love reading, I didn't study lit in uni, choosing philosophy and political science as my minors because I knew that while I'd always read for fun, I needed the 'compulsive force' of exams and essays to compel me to study something I might not necessary 'do' in my spare time (ergo the political science and philosophy).
I scribble fan fic for my own gratification because I need closure. When I see, read, hear things, I dream/imagine/see missing scenes, moments, conversations and images in my head and they're so compelling that I cannot help but to write them down even if no one else ever reads them except me. Some of my favourite, favourite fics that I have written have received no feedback at all or have never been shown to anyone else - and yet I am still happy with them because I wrote what I wanted to 'see' and thus was able to fool myself into thinking that it took place. :)
In the past, my scribbles stayed locked up on my hard drive in word documents that were password protected or scrawled in diaries. These days I share some of the fic because it's obvious to me that there are other people who seem to be imagining the same missing scenes that I do. I know that I've often been spared the hassle of scribbling a fic just because someone else out there has already imagined the scene and written it out for me.
I don't hold any hard feelings towards the above community. Hell, if I ran a comm I'd probably be the most Evil Overlord out there, storming around with a black cloak (that bears an uncanny resemblance to an elven cloak), my own Evil Theme Music blaring through haunting pan pipes ... but I regard 'matters online' as being for almost unadulterated fun, self-gratification, relaxation and self-expression. The moment it feels not so fun anymore, the moment it starts to smack of being onerous and restrictive, then I will back away, paws held up in the air warily ...
In the 'old days', I used to chat on mailing lists and discussion fora for Robin McKinley, Due South, Jane Austen, Georgette Heyer, musicals etc. Then I discovered usenet - a profoundly fascinating and scary world filled with obsessiveness and interesting conversation. I would 'talk' a lot.
When I first started out on LJ, my own journal was purely for writing my own thoughts and I'd go and 'chat' in communities. As time passed, I began to use communities purely as a means to obtain and pass on information and these days I do almost zero discussion/chatting in communities. I retreated to my own journal and the journals of those on my friends list where topics are more flexible, de facto 'communities' form more organically and are less organised.
Organised comms still have a function, but I just realised when typing this post that I have retreated away from communities more and more. My forays into fandom are becoming increasingly cautious and and I'm wary - all opinions are posted here not there. There are a whole bunch of reasons.
Maybe I'm becoming the LJ equivalent of a hermit. Perhaps one day I (and my Stupid Thoughts) will retreat to some cave in a high, rocky, lonely mountain beside the lake at the end of the world. Only the most intrepid of explorers will be able to find me because they really don't want to deal with the hassle of rolling spiky Indiana Jones Boulders of Death (randomness), dangerous crevasses (posts where the word count almost exceeds the LJ limit), risk being crushed by a landslide (giant pic spam with too many images) and the risk of permanent insanity (any exposure for any period of time to Evil Koala).
To take this sad and lonely story to its logical end, what if it ends with some hardy hero deciding to put me out of my misery by poisoning me with hemlock. *choke*
I came to the end of this post and realised that i have managed to read 3,000 + words on - nothing :)
Gawd.
*shakes head in disbelief*
*covers eyes with paws and staggers off*