Wardrobe Malfunction (kind of)
Title: Wardrobe Malfunction (kind of)
Character: NEWS (Koyama Keiichiro, Masuda Takahisa, Kato Shigeaki and Tegoshi Yuya)
Genre: Crack/Humour
Summary: Why did Tegoshi wear that ripped black leather costume for UtsuKoi concert?
Author's Note: You know, their black leather costume in the concert? Just assume that only Tegoshi's are the same in this fic. And maybe Koyama's too. But not for Massu and Shige's.
On one fine day, Koyama Keiichiro, Kato Shigeaki and Tegoshi Yuya all received an email from their groupmate, Masuda Takahisa.
Hey all~
Please see the attached drawings for your costume. Everyone's different, so please check the picture with your name on it. It is stated on the picture, with illustrations, on some parts where your measurements are needed. Measure those parts of you and fill it in the form attached in the picture and email it straight to the costume maker. We should get this done ASAP. They need a month to complete it, which will be the day of our concert. If we can't get the measurements in today, we won't get this set of costume in time for the first show. -Massu
Of course, each of them has different reaction to that. Koyama got worried and texted Shige and Tegoshi about it to remind them. He was initially buying coloured socks, gloves, hats and scarfs for the members, according to their colours, but decided that the costume is more important. If he can't find such cute design anymore, hell, he can just knit them himself. And so, off he went, after dumping everything in his arms back on the shelves. He doubled back to pick up 3 measuring tapes, in case he can't find his at home, one got printed wrongly and somehow he lost another.
Shige frowned at the email and rolled his eyes. He was enjoying a day out at the park, with a thermos full of coffee, snapping random photos of kids and flowers. Putting down his bag, he pulled out his iPad, plugged in external drawing pad and started filling in his measurements from memory. He didn't forget to add in details and commented a little on every bit of the design and altering bits of here and there to his preferences.
Tegoshi's phone yodeled. Or rather, it was his mail alert tone. Of him yodeling. Of course, he has to chime in and finish the entire song before he can actually check the email. Feeling rather lazy to measure himself, he decided to measure his soccer jersey and shorts instead. After all, they are like second skin to him anyway.
*****
After a month, 4 nicely wrapped package found its way into NEWS's dressing room. One was a normal costume package sized, another was a little larger and the third is.... more like a big thick tabletop with a bulge on top. The fourth one was a tiny package, about half of normal size, tuck away underneath the tabletop shaped one. Each are labeled with the owner's name. And the owner of the tabletop is the first to arrive: Shige.
Shige, to his own credit, decided that he should have a pair of furry wings behind him, about 2 times bigger than Victoria's Secret models' wings. He tried them on happily and tested out the flapping mechanism. So far so good.
Massu stepped in next, and took the slightly larger one. Just like how Massu dresses, his costumes are loose cutoffs and lots of polka dots.
Koyama came next and promptly took the normal sized package. He carefully took off the wrappings for his costume, folded them up properly before putting it away neatly. Then did he shake out his costume and try them on. Of course, everything fits snugly where it should. He couldn't resist it but to flex his biceps to his mirror reflection. So far so good.
Tegoshi bounced in a little while later, all smiles. Seeing his lone tiny parcel, he frowned at the rest and grumbled that they didn't wait for him to try their costume. Picking it up, he realised that it is really small. Really, really small. He has gotten costume made for him and delivered in packages, but they were never that small. The same thought occurred to Koyama at the same time, so he went over to Tegoshi while the latter unwrap his costumes. And when Tegoshi shook out his costume (something is not right!), and lay them on the table, it is obvious that something is very very wrong.
Tegoshi is the smallest sized one in the group, but does that mean that he is about 2.5 times smaller than normal??
By this time, Massu and Shige are both there too, gaping at the kids sized costume. Koyama scrambled around for the wrapper, wanting to check that it is Tegoshi's. It is. He has to sit down before his knees gave out. Koyama sank into the nearest couch with a huge "Eh??"
Massu looked at Tegoshi severely. "Did you give the correct measurements?" Tegoshi, with his tear filled eyes, looked widely at his duet partner. "I did! It was an online form right? We have to key in the measurements and also choose some options from the attachment you sent us right? I did! I did!" He looked despairingly back at his tiny costume. "How can I wear this tonight? We can't get any alterations done within 3 hours. Plus, is there even any extra cloth for this to be altered??" Tegoshi's tears seems to be ready to flow anytime.
Shige's Almighty brain whirred to life. As it dawns on him, he whipped around and looked at Tegoshi sharply. "Which column did you key your measurements in? Centimeters or inches??" Tegoshi whimpered. "Don't look at me so sharply! Centimeters, of course!" Shige moved in for the kill. "Which side of the measuring tape did you read from? SI or Imperial?"
There was a moment of silence, and then...
"Imperial."
Shige rolled his eyes and started mumbling about blonds having no brains. ("I have brains! And my hair is dyed blond!" wailed Tegoshi) Massu tilted his head and decided that all will be well after he ate those gyozas he saved from lunch. Koyama jolted straight up and started yelling "What? What?? Imperial??"
Tegoshi just stood there with teary eyes until Koyama calmed down. And then he asked meekly. "What's wrong with Imperial?"
Koyama looked into Tegoshi's eyes deeply. He can only find bewilderment and innocence in them. He sighed as he admit defeat. "Tegonyan, why did you look at the Imperial side when you keyed in the measurements in centimeters?"
"I.. I thought.... Imperial sounds like royalty and... and... I'm a prince after all."
Shige thought that no one could be dumber than that. "You brat. Imperial means inches. Which means, you told the costume makers your measurements in inches, but since you put it in the centimeters column, they took those numbers as centimeters, which are actually about 2.5 times smaller than your actual measurements. That's why your costume is 2.5 times smaller. You... You... You should go back to elementary school!"
There was an awkward silence.
"....Then, so what shall we do to my costume?" whined Tegoshi.
Massu is still eating and Shige decided to wash his hands off this fiasco. Koyama bustled the younger boy to the changing area and handed him those costumes. "Try to squeeze in. Squeeze however much you can in. Leather is a little elastic after all, and let's see how is it then." Koyama smiled optimistically. Tegoshi shoved his legs in and pulled hard. It came up to his knees only. He looked despairingly at their leader, who winced and helped to pull the pants up Tegoshi's legs. Somehow, they managed to pull it up to his waist, finally. Koyama smiled brightly and looked into Tegoshi's somehow bluish face. Tegoshi gasped "Kei-chan, I.. I... I can't breath!! I... I can't hold any more!" And he let his breath out in a whoosh. And there was a ripping sound. And holes appeared in the costume. Koyama and Tegoshi looked at each other in horror.
At this moment, Kanjani8, who were there and witnessed the entire thing, (no, don't ask me how or when or why they got there.) cheered. "That's fine, Tego! This is the latest trend in Osaka! You might not seen this in Tokyo now, but it is the trend in Osaka! That looks really good! man, I'm so jealous of you!!" exclaimed Hina.
Tegoshi and Koyama felt better immediately. Easily persuaded, Tegoshi decided to perform with the ripped costume just that way later. Kanjani8 disappeared in a poof of sparkling smoke, but no one realised that too.
And then, that evening, when the crowd screamed when Tegoshi appeared in those costumes, Tegoshi felt so good. It feels so good to be the leading fashion role model.
Character: NEWS (Koyama Keiichiro, Masuda Takahisa, Kato Shigeaki and Tegoshi Yuya)
Genre: Crack/Humour
Summary: Why did Tegoshi wear that ripped black leather costume for UtsuKoi concert?
Author's Note: You know, their black leather costume in the concert? Just assume that only Tegoshi's are the same in this fic. And maybe Koyama's too. But not for Massu and Shige's.
On one fine day, Koyama Keiichiro, Kato Shigeaki and Tegoshi Yuya all received an email from their groupmate, Masuda Takahisa.
Hey all~
Please see the attached drawings for your costume. Everyone's different, so please check the picture with your name on it. It is stated on the picture, with illustrations, on some parts where your measurements are needed. Measure those parts of you and fill it in the form attached in the picture and email it straight to the costume maker. We should get this done ASAP. They need a month to complete it, which will be the day of our concert. If we can't get the measurements in today, we won't get this set of costume in time for the first show. -Massu
Of course, each of them has different reaction to that. Koyama got worried and texted Shige and Tegoshi about it to remind them. He was initially buying coloured socks, gloves, hats and scarfs for the members, according to their colours, but decided that the costume is more important. If he can't find such cute design anymore, hell, he can just knit them himself. And so, off he went, after dumping everything in his arms back on the shelves. He doubled back to pick up 3 measuring tapes, in case he can't find his at home, one got printed wrongly and somehow he lost another.
Shige frowned at the email and rolled his eyes. He was enjoying a day out at the park, with a thermos full of coffee, snapping random photos of kids and flowers. Putting down his bag, he pulled out his iPad, plugged in external drawing pad and started filling in his measurements from memory. He didn't forget to add in details and commented a little on every bit of the design and altering bits of here and there to his preferences.
Tegoshi's phone yodeled. Or rather, it was his mail alert tone. Of him yodeling. Of course, he has to chime in and finish the entire song before he can actually check the email. Feeling rather lazy to measure himself, he decided to measure his soccer jersey and shorts instead. After all, they are like second skin to him anyway.
*****
After a month, 4 nicely wrapped package found its way into NEWS's dressing room. One was a normal costume package sized, another was a little larger and the third is.... more like a big thick tabletop with a bulge on top. The fourth one was a tiny package, about half of normal size, tuck away underneath the tabletop shaped one. Each are labeled with the owner's name. And the owner of the tabletop is the first to arrive: Shige.
Shige, to his own credit, decided that he should have a pair of furry wings behind him, about 2 times bigger than Victoria's Secret models' wings. He tried them on happily and tested out the flapping mechanism. So far so good.
Massu stepped in next, and took the slightly larger one. Just like how Massu dresses, his costumes are loose cutoffs and lots of polka dots.
Koyama came next and promptly took the normal sized package. He carefully took off the wrappings for his costume, folded them up properly before putting it away neatly. Then did he shake out his costume and try them on. Of course, everything fits snugly where it should. He couldn't resist it but to flex his biceps to his mirror reflection. So far so good.
Tegoshi bounced in a little while later, all smiles. Seeing his lone tiny parcel, he frowned at the rest and grumbled that they didn't wait for him to try their costume. Picking it up, he realised that it is really small. Really, really small. He has gotten costume made for him and delivered in packages, but they were never that small. The same thought occurred to Koyama at the same time, so he went over to Tegoshi while the latter unwrap his costumes. And when Tegoshi shook out his costume (something is not right!), and lay them on the table, it is obvious that something is very very wrong.
Tegoshi is the smallest sized one in the group, but does that mean that he is about 2.5 times smaller than normal??
By this time, Massu and Shige are both there too, gaping at the kids sized costume. Koyama scrambled around for the wrapper, wanting to check that it is Tegoshi's. It is. He has to sit down before his knees gave out. Koyama sank into the nearest couch with a huge "Eh??"
Massu looked at Tegoshi severely. "Did you give the correct measurements?" Tegoshi, with his tear filled eyes, looked widely at his duet partner. "I did! It was an online form right? We have to key in the measurements and also choose some options from the attachment you sent us right? I did! I did!" He looked despairingly back at his tiny costume. "How can I wear this tonight? We can't get any alterations done within 3 hours. Plus, is there even any extra cloth for this to be altered??" Tegoshi's tears seems to be ready to flow anytime.
Shige's Almighty brain whirred to life. As it dawns on him, he whipped around and looked at Tegoshi sharply. "Which column did you key your measurements in? Centimeters or inches??" Tegoshi whimpered. "Don't look at me so sharply! Centimeters, of course!" Shige moved in for the kill. "Which side of the measuring tape did you read from? SI or Imperial?"
There was a moment of silence, and then...
"Imperial."
Shige rolled his eyes and started mumbling about blonds having no brains. ("I have brains! And my hair is dyed blond!" wailed Tegoshi) Massu tilted his head and decided that all will be well after he ate those gyozas he saved from lunch. Koyama jolted straight up and started yelling "What? What?? Imperial??"
Tegoshi just stood there with teary eyes until Koyama calmed down. And then he asked meekly. "What's wrong with Imperial?"
Koyama looked into Tegoshi's eyes deeply. He can only find bewilderment and innocence in them. He sighed as he admit defeat. "Tegonyan, why did you look at the Imperial side when you keyed in the measurements in centimeters?"
"I.. I thought.... Imperial sounds like royalty and... and... I'm a prince after all."
Shige thought that no one could be dumber than that. "You brat. Imperial means inches. Which means, you told the costume makers your measurements in inches, but since you put it in the centimeters column, they took those numbers as centimeters, which are actually about 2.5 times smaller than your actual measurements. That's why your costume is 2.5 times smaller. You... You... You should go back to elementary school!"
There was an awkward silence.
"....Then, so what shall we do to my costume?" whined Tegoshi.
Massu is still eating and Shige decided to wash his hands off this fiasco. Koyama bustled the younger boy to the changing area and handed him those costumes. "Try to squeeze in. Squeeze however much you can in. Leather is a little elastic after all, and let's see how is it then." Koyama smiled optimistically. Tegoshi shoved his legs in and pulled hard. It came up to his knees only. He looked despairingly at their leader, who winced and helped to pull the pants up Tegoshi's legs. Somehow, they managed to pull it up to his waist, finally. Koyama smiled brightly and looked into Tegoshi's somehow bluish face. Tegoshi gasped "Kei-chan, I.. I... I can't breath!! I... I can't hold any more!" And he let his breath out in a whoosh. And there was a ripping sound. And holes appeared in the costume. Koyama and Tegoshi looked at each other in horror.
At this moment, Kanjani8, who were there and witnessed the entire thing, (no, don't ask me how or when or why they got there.) cheered. "That's fine, Tego! This is the latest trend in Osaka! You might not seen this in Tokyo now, but it is the trend in Osaka! That looks really good! man, I'm so jealous of you!!" exclaimed Hina.
Tegoshi and Koyama felt better immediately. Easily persuaded, Tegoshi decided to perform with the ripped costume just that way later. Kanjani8 disappeared in a poof of sparkling smoke, but no one realised that too.
And then, that evening, when the crowd screamed when Tegoshi appeared in those costumes, Tegoshi felt so good. It feels so good to be the leading fashion role model.