Trigger #1 - "dis"
This one is not a surprise. The house party. I anticipated it. The whole process of invite, RSVP, wait for the day, and getting myself out the door produces plenty of anxiety. Admittedly I do not look forward to facing every person at the party. Yet for some reason I need to circulate and have a nodding acquaintance with everyone present. Very concerned with achieving the 'good time.' Is this natural or normal behavior? I don't know. Would prefer to chill. Would prefer avoiding some trite one-liners.
So it amounts to "pouncing" on as many people as possible. Often this is an awkward, forced feat. And, depending on the crowd, I become unable to settle into even the semblance of a conversation. Disjointed. Distracted. Disturbed. In any case, after a period of discomfort I think I arrived at almost chill last night (on the inside). Graphing a dip, a rise and not really any fall. Back to neutral this morning.
***
Happy Halloween! List
sewing to finish the Oct 3rd skirt, reminder to eat real food before lots of candy, and hopefully a walk this afternoon. evening plans = vaguely set
So it amounts to "pouncing" on as many people as possible. Often this is an awkward, forced feat. And, depending on the crowd, I become unable to settle into even the semblance of a conversation. Disjointed. Distracted. Disturbed. In any case, after a period of discomfort I think I arrived at almost chill last night (on the inside). Graphing a dip, a rise and not really any fall. Back to neutral this morning.
***
Happy Halloween! List
sewing to finish the Oct 3rd skirt, reminder to eat real food before lots of candy, and hopefully a walk this afternoon. evening plans = vaguely set