A lot on the mind
I've had a lot on my mind lately, but I've been really busy and haven't had a chance to really sit down and write anything down. It's a mixed thing really. On the one hand, I've been really busy with work and hanging out with people lately. On the other, I've been out and lost touch of a few things, and haven't been able to really do much with it.
As such a lot has happened, so I'll be a whole lot of haphazard in writing, so I'm not expecting any of this to make sense.
My birthday party was a blast, thanks to everyone who was able to come out. This years challenge was the Lone Star 72 Oz. Steak challenge. There was pictures on Facebook for people to see the size of it if you wanted to. I did not however finish it sadly. Still, it was great just to even try it. Chris told me that he thinks it's something that should happen every year until I can finish it. Personally I don't think it'd be possible for me to finish it within an hour. The worst part was after wards thinking of how many people that would feed normally. Still, again thank you everyone for the birthday wishes, the presents and the company.
After the dinner we went to see the movie "Role Models" The main purpose was to see just how horribly Hollywood would portray LARPing. Much to my surprise it was a pretty funny movie. The Larp system they showed is a whole lot different then what I've played, but I suppose when there's as many people as there were there, it would make it a whole lot easier. Makes Armour seem like a waste kind of to me, just because it would slow you down.
I haven't been able to do a whole lot of writing of stories lately. Was writing for Sci-Fi, but hit a slump in that, mostly because I didn't take that great notes of the games I ran after that, and mostly thought that I might be describing peoples PCs a bit different then they would actually act.
I was slowly writing another story on it's own with the title of, "No Name Soldiers", but jut haven't found the needed drive to keep up with it. It wasn't something I had planned to share with others, mostly due to the nature of it, but still.
Other pieces of writing I've been going on is LARP stuff. Whether for current Plotting season, or for a LARP I'd like to run on my own. Naturally the problem with the later is rules balancing and a site. I'm looking forward to this season of FA a lot though, I have to say. I'm hoping that I'll be able to make sense of a lot of ideas that I have. Much of it revolves around light and darkness.
The Day Mod/Tavern night went really well I think. Unfortunately the weather was really lousy, so we couldn't use the site at all. The good part was that we had the Hall for the day, so we were able to hold game there. We were able to use some larger tables to help separate the Tavern up a bit. I think that we'll try to use Tarps later on, just for safety concerns from players. Combat in the Hall was pretty hard on its own.
I've really felt like seeing a play or musical lately. Claire, you're just about the only person I can think of that'd know things to go to and would possibly want to go with me. Any ideas or anything you'd wanna see? (Naturally anyone else who would want to go and see something correct me.)
Work has been going well, if not a bit weird at times. I suppose the part that's just odd is the smaller things. Knowing I'll have a job and don't have to worry about having to look for another one shortly is one of the biggest changes. I know that it's kind of stupid to say it, but, I don't know it's just nice I suppose. A reliable pay, eventually benefits, good hours, and having weekends back. I suppose that's something different too, not having to fight to get them off.
Now for some things most people will want to skip reading. I always seem to mess these lj-cuts, so, the first one is a dream I had, and, like I said, probably want to skip it.
So, I had a dream that I really remember lately that makes wonder about myself.
In short, the dream was more or less, "A typical day with.."
Naturally, due to the nature of the dream, I'll leave out names, for you know people getting all confused, or pissed off at me for something.
Some of them were just very normal. Apartment sharing, going to work, coming home, dinner, small chat then crashing in separate beds. Those ones, not too much to say, it was wickedly boring for a dream have to say.
Some others were more couple like and cute. I mean, in ways it was nice, and others kind of eerie. Some of it had some funny moments (Video games and movies, even some of the cooking.). I say eerie because, well, it's something I guess everyone wants in one way or another, even if I rather not tell myself it is like that.
Some of the others were of the more intimate kind. I'll spare detail,.s some were just awesome.
The one that really got me wondering about myself was a sad situation. Two girls, gave me the option, Option A being the fun with both, or option B, they would make me the best breakfast ever if we just slept. Yeahh.... went with option B. I'm not sure if my subconscious is trying to tell me whether food has more sentient and pleasure then sex does, or if there's more to it. And yeah, before anyone makes the joke, "Try pleasing one woman first haha" Yeah, beat you too it. That or would the expectation of the better result, a peaceful and nice sleep just in general be more appealing. Yeah, I'll admit, I would like to sleep next to someone. Yeah, I'd say there's some people I would really like to, and I can say I know how they'd react (a big no on that part).
And for another, this is just the last bit in my mind. Once again, I would suggest just skipping it, I'm mostly writing it to just get it out of my head so I can think on other things.
The current State of the US is promising. I have to say one of the best presents I could have gotten was to see a great moment come in American politics. While Obama hasn't started yet, there is still a feeling of hope for change, which I think he'll deliver on. While there are a lot of expectations, I think it will work out for the better. If I was living in America, he would have gotten my vote because of his character and intelligence.
Our Auto industry is going through the crap-shot, there's no denying that. When the Big three are feeling the economic pressure, it's not a good sign. While I may not agree with a lot of Union work, we still need the Big Three to keep people employed. The employees there are paid a lot, but one thing that is for sure that transportation is more or less a necessity in life, and we need to keep them around. Hybrid cars and fuel efficiency are the latest trends in design while the price for oil has gone down. Why the drop though? I'm guessing it's to keep people encouraged to get those vehicles out there and drive. I know when gas prices were well above a dollar a litre, I knew a lot of people that would forgo going out just because of the cost to get to where they wanted to go. Many people didn't just "Go out for a drive" to relax or help put the baby to sleep. But, because of this, the transit industry was seeing some more traffic. I'm in no way saying that's a bad thing, quite the opposite. Even there though, prices for tickets were going up to match the price for the fuel. Taxi's followed suit as well, as they need to make a living off of it.
I would love a vehicle that could reliable run off of hydrogen or electricity and let me go where I need to go. Are we at a stage where we can completely change over? Hell no. All gas stations don't even have Diesel, you think it would be available to put power outlets for people to charge up? Not only that, but so far I haven't heard of a single electric car that can actually go fast enough to be used for Highway driving. Not to mention electricity isn't cheap either, and peoples pockets would still feel a sting.
In closing, I'm beginning to realize that while I think I've changed in some ways I really haven't in many others. I've greatly offended people, two in specific I can think of with actions I've done. Why do I do it still though? I wish I could tell you. In some ways I guess I'm... well, complacent that they've changed so much and I haven't. Angry wouldn't be the word for it, but on some scale it fits.
This is especially the case when it comes to relationships and sex in general. I over think, I over analyze and just can't enjoy the moment for what it should be. When I'm not thinking though I lose sight of a lot and don't listen to what they're trying to tell me, making things a hell of a lot more awkward in the process. People move and change, and in some ways I am, and in other ways I'm stuck right in place. I think I just wish I could be in the situation where I was able to move on and go to something new, even if it wouldn't work out, or even just to have it stop being in the back of my mind when I see them.
I find with sex I'm a real talker about it. I seem to enjoy the conversation of it, the flirtation and everything else besides the act itself. I don't really know why though. Well, I mean I can say the obvious guess of performance should come in a a prime worry. I know if you're with them and it's more then just some one night stand it doesn't matter, and things will get better.
In short, I know I've hurt people in the past. Whether I've been told to just drop it, or just never talk to them again, I'm sorry either way. If you're reading this and wondering, it's nothing serious, as I said, it's just something I wanted to write out to get off my mind. I'm not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination. I'm just sorry if I go on as I always have, or if I've really changed thinking that's what for the best. I really don't know what I'm trying to say at all. I'm sorry. Yeah, I guess that about sums it up. I'm sorry.
Anyway, seeing as it's 11pm, and I was trying to tell myself I would have an early night, I should really be heading off, as this is a lot later then I have originally planned. When I have the time I should really get back to writing.
As such a lot has happened, so I'll be a whole lot of haphazard in writing, so I'm not expecting any of this to make sense.
My birthday party was a blast, thanks to everyone who was able to come out. This years challenge was the Lone Star 72 Oz. Steak challenge. There was pictures on Facebook for people to see the size of it if you wanted to. I did not however finish it sadly. Still, it was great just to even try it. Chris told me that he thinks it's something that should happen every year until I can finish it. Personally I don't think it'd be possible for me to finish it within an hour. The worst part was after wards thinking of how many people that would feed normally. Still, again thank you everyone for the birthday wishes, the presents and the company.
After the dinner we went to see the movie "Role Models" The main purpose was to see just how horribly Hollywood would portray LARPing. Much to my surprise it was a pretty funny movie. The Larp system they showed is a whole lot different then what I've played, but I suppose when there's as many people as there were there, it would make it a whole lot easier. Makes Armour seem like a waste kind of to me, just because it would slow you down.
I haven't been able to do a whole lot of writing of stories lately. Was writing for Sci-Fi, but hit a slump in that, mostly because I didn't take that great notes of the games I ran after that, and mostly thought that I might be describing peoples PCs a bit different then they would actually act.
I was slowly writing another story on it's own with the title of, "No Name Soldiers", but jut haven't found the needed drive to keep up with it. It wasn't something I had planned to share with others, mostly due to the nature of it, but still.
Other pieces of writing I've been going on is LARP stuff. Whether for current Plotting season, or for a LARP I'd like to run on my own. Naturally the problem with the later is rules balancing and a site. I'm looking forward to this season of FA a lot though, I have to say. I'm hoping that I'll be able to make sense of a lot of ideas that I have. Much of it revolves around light and darkness.
The Day Mod/Tavern night went really well I think. Unfortunately the weather was really lousy, so we couldn't use the site at all. The good part was that we had the Hall for the day, so we were able to hold game there. We were able to use some larger tables to help separate the Tavern up a bit. I think that we'll try to use Tarps later on, just for safety concerns from players. Combat in the Hall was pretty hard on its own.
I've really felt like seeing a play or musical lately. Claire, you're just about the only person I can think of that'd know things to go to and would possibly want to go with me. Any ideas or anything you'd wanna see? (Naturally anyone else who would want to go and see something correct me.)
Work has been going well, if not a bit weird at times. I suppose the part that's just odd is the smaller things. Knowing I'll have a job and don't have to worry about having to look for another one shortly is one of the biggest changes. I know that it's kind of stupid to say it, but, I don't know it's just nice I suppose. A reliable pay, eventually benefits, good hours, and having weekends back. I suppose that's something different too, not having to fight to get them off.
Now for some things most people will want to skip reading. I always seem to mess these lj-cuts, so, the first one is a dream I had, and, like I said, probably want to skip it.
So, I had a dream that I really remember lately that makes wonder about myself.
In short, the dream was more or less, "A typical day with.."
Naturally, due to the nature of the dream, I'll leave out names, for you know people getting all confused, or pissed off at me for something.
Some of them were just very normal. Apartment sharing, going to work, coming home, dinner, small chat then crashing in separate beds. Those ones, not too much to say, it was wickedly boring for a dream have to say.
Some others were more couple like and cute. I mean, in ways it was nice, and others kind of eerie. Some of it had some funny moments (Video games and movies, even some of the cooking.). I say eerie because, well, it's something I guess everyone wants in one way or another, even if I rather not tell myself it is like that.
Some of the others were of the more intimate kind. I'll spare detail,.s some were just awesome.
The one that really got me wondering about myself was a sad situation. Two girls, gave me the option, Option A being the fun with both, or option B, they would make me the best breakfast ever if we just slept. Yeahh.... went with option B. I'm not sure if my subconscious is trying to tell me whether food has more sentient and pleasure then sex does, or if there's more to it. And yeah, before anyone makes the joke, "Try pleasing one woman first haha" Yeah, beat you too it. That or would the expectation of the better result, a peaceful and nice sleep just in general be more appealing. Yeah, I'll admit, I would like to sleep next to someone. Yeah, I'd say there's some people I would really like to, and I can say I know how they'd react (a big no on that part).
And for another, this is just the last bit in my mind. Once again, I would suggest just skipping it, I'm mostly writing it to just get it out of my head so I can think on other things.
The current State of the US is promising. I have to say one of the best presents I could have gotten was to see a great moment come in American politics. While Obama hasn't started yet, there is still a feeling of hope for change, which I think he'll deliver on. While there are a lot of expectations, I think it will work out for the better. If I was living in America, he would have gotten my vote because of his character and intelligence.
Our Auto industry is going through the crap-shot, there's no denying that. When the Big three are feeling the economic pressure, it's not a good sign. While I may not agree with a lot of Union work, we still need the Big Three to keep people employed. The employees there are paid a lot, but one thing that is for sure that transportation is more or less a necessity in life, and we need to keep them around. Hybrid cars and fuel efficiency are the latest trends in design while the price for oil has gone down. Why the drop though? I'm guessing it's to keep people encouraged to get those vehicles out there and drive. I know when gas prices were well above a dollar a litre, I knew a lot of people that would forgo going out just because of the cost to get to where they wanted to go. Many people didn't just "Go out for a drive" to relax or help put the baby to sleep. But, because of this, the transit industry was seeing some more traffic. I'm in no way saying that's a bad thing, quite the opposite. Even there though, prices for tickets were going up to match the price for the fuel. Taxi's followed suit as well, as they need to make a living off of it.
I would love a vehicle that could reliable run off of hydrogen or electricity and let me go where I need to go. Are we at a stage where we can completely change over? Hell no. All gas stations don't even have Diesel, you think it would be available to put power outlets for people to charge up? Not only that, but so far I haven't heard of a single electric car that can actually go fast enough to be used for Highway driving. Not to mention electricity isn't cheap either, and peoples pockets would still feel a sting.
In closing, I'm beginning to realize that while I think I've changed in some ways I really haven't in many others. I've greatly offended people, two in specific I can think of with actions I've done. Why do I do it still though? I wish I could tell you. In some ways I guess I'm... well, complacent that they've changed so much and I haven't. Angry wouldn't be the word for it, but on some scale it fits.
This is especially the case when it comes to relationships and sex in general. I over think, I over analyze and just can't enjoy the moment for what it should be. When I'm not thinking though I lose sight of a lot and don't listen to what they're trying to tell me, making things a hell of a lot more awkward in the process. People move and change, and in some ways I am, and in other ways I'm stuck right in place. I think I just wish I could be in the situation where I was able to move on and go to something new, even if it wouldn't work out, or even just to have it stop being in the back of my mind when I see them.
I find with sex I'm a real talker about it. I seem to enjoy the conversation of it, the flirtation and everything else besides the act itself. I don't really know why though. Well, I mean I can say the obvious guess of performance should come in a a prime worry. I know if you're with them and it's more then just some one night stand it doesn't matter, and things will get better.
In short, I know I've hurt people in the past. Whether I've been told to just drop it, or just never talk to them again, I'm sorry either way. If you're reading this and wondering, it's nothing serious, as I said, it's just something I wanted to write out to get off my mind. I'm not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination. I'm just sorry if I go on as I always have, or if I've really changed thinking that's what for the best. I really don't know what I'm trying to say at all. I'm sorry. Yeah, I guess that about sums it up. I'm sorry.
Anyway, seeing as it's 11pm, and I was trying to tell myself I would have an early night, I should really be heading off, as this is a lot later then I have originally planned. When I have the time I should really get back to writing.