Hangeng, Zhoumi, Henry and Heechul
I think there's honestly nothing in the world that brings me to tears quicker than k-pop. I spose I just want to send a virtual hug across the world to Heechul, who seemed to have a tough time at the recent Beijing leg of Super Show.
I think fandom is a really hard thing to protray accurately. I suppose like all things in life it's got its complexities and ups and downs. God knows I've stirred my own amount of shit amongst the Super Junior ELF's cause I hate Only13 so much. It's moments like these that remind you of why it so rapidly became such an important part of your life. Something about a bunch of insane Korean guys doing there best to be entertaining and sometimes failing, sometimes revealing there true selves and breaking down and showing real humanity. There's an intensity of emotion stirred at moment's like these where you think; real emotion exists, real friendship and caring and devotion with little ulterior motive exists and it's a shame that it takes something like Hangeng deciding to leave Super Junior to remind us of it.
I'm not ashamed to say that I teared up a little upon seeing this photo. Most people would look at it and see some pretty boy asian, crying and pulling a really unattractive face. I spose that's another thing amazing about fandom. There's a story behind this picture, one that only us fans can read and understand and be impacted by. We understand that Kim Heechul is famed for his wit, beauty and his sharp, border line uncaring, personality. Most idols we can recall having seen in tears on numerous occasions, but not Kim Heechul. I think it makes the Hangeng issue more real. It's like Hangeng's being pulled in two directions between his family, whom he loves and respects, and his responsibilty to them and what he loves doing and the friends he's gained doing it. I feel like I can relate to him maybe a little. Choosing between furthering your own dreams and ambitions and leaving behindyour family can be a really hard decision. You constantly worry about your families well-being and whether they'll be alright without you. Imagine poor Hangeng grappling with this guilt and worry for nearly 10 years now.
On the flipside 2009 has really illustrated how fandom can be a really horrible place. From bands breaking up, to acting out, to netizens illustrating the power that just words really hold, it sometimes felt like our little slice of unreality had become less of an escape from reality and more a punctuation of how cruel life can be. I spose that's why I also teared up a little when I saw the clip from Super Show II when Heechul and Siwon singled Zhoumi and Henry out at the end of the concert, making sure they felt acknowledged. Makes you wish you had friends like them, huh?
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_36940438.html
I say Zhou, you say Mi, Zhou! Mi! Zhou! Mi!
I say Hen, you say Ri! Hen! Ri! Hen! Ri!
I think I've come a little more into terms with Hangeng leaving Super Junior. It breaks my heart that it's happening now, right before I'm set to head off to Korea, but I suppose it's just the beginning of the end of the band. Military service is right around the bend for the rest of Super Junior anyway. At least it's little events like these that reassure me that the friendships we're so envious of, that we can only play witnesses too on the outside, will continue long after Super Junior.
화이팅 희절! 화이팅 한경! 사랑해 수퍼주니어!
I can't wait to meet you guys!