Can I vague this up a little?
An opportunity has presented itself for me to get back in contact with a social circle I've effectively left. I am deeply divided about it. There are some people that I'd quite like to see again. Certain people that I'd just as soon not interact with again probably won't be involved. And then there's the rest. There's some hefty baggage there ( Read more... )
That's one of the big questions, isn't it? FWIW, I've decided to go, in part to test that very issue.
the desire you feel to return (to how things were, or more to the point, to how you wish they'd been)
Oh, I have no desire at all to return to how things were, and I'm very clear that how I wish they'd been was never going to happen. From that perspective, I'm totally over it.
I'm going... partly in a spirit of "confront your fears", because I realized that going back to the physical place in question was wigging me out all out of proportion. It's just a place. Any bad associations I may have are not *its* fault.
Partly, I'm going out of almost sociological curiosity. I know that a large portion of the problems were due to the people who, to the best of my knowledge, won't be there. But how much can be laid solely at their feet? Freed of that influence, can the people who remain be relied upon to be sane and pleasant company? Or was there a reason they all gravitated together in the first place? (The answer is almost certainly some of both; the devil is in the proportions.)
And partly, I'm going because, well, what else am I going to do? Sit home on my favorite holiday with the curtains closed, snarfing fun-size Milky Ways? And hopefully I'll be able to chat with the few people I miss who I don't also want to hit with a baseball bat.
If it doesn't work out, there is nothing keeping you from walking away; you're in control of it.
That's the key to it, yes.
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