Chapter Three
Steve had just closed the door to the guest room, Jared safely tucked in under a mountain of blankets, looking like he was hiding from the world. Steve had to admit that he wouldn’t blame the guy if he was, when he heard the front door open and close. Since he knew he’d locked it after letting Jared in, and there was only one person with a key to his house, there was only one option as to who it could be.
“Who the fuck’s luggage is this at the door, babe?” He heard just before arms snuck around his waist and lips dropped a peck on his neck. “I almost killed myself comin’ in. We goin’ somewhere, or do we have comp’ny?”
Just hours before he’d been sitting on his floor, guitar in his hands plucking out some new love songs his little fan girls would all coo over, thinkin’ how far they’d come, how good he had it. How in love he was with this man, how amazing it was considering all the battles they’d fought. He just didn’t know there’d been battles that he’d not even been allowed to fight, because they’d been hidden from him by the General, just didn’t know the man leading the enemy army was the man he was sleeping with every night.
The touch that had made him melt the night before now made his skin crawl, thinking about all the lives those hands had wrecked, thinking about how he’d been an accomplice even if it had been an unknowing one.
“I have company,” Steve said softly wondering if the numbness he felt came across as such, or if it sounded like calmness. “Jared’s staying with me for awhile.”
The use of I and me wasn’t entirely lost on Christian, who tensed immediately hearing Jared’s name. “Didn’ know y’all were such good buddies,” Christian started pulling back, a scowl turning his lips downward. “What hell kinda bullshit has that bastard been fillin’ your head with? Ain’t it bad ‘nuff that he’s tryin’ to fuck up me an' Jenny, now he’s aimin’ to come ‘tween you an' me?”
“The only thing Jared’s fillin’ my head with, Chris is facts that were easily backed up. Facts that I should have thought to get years ago, but like the damned fool I am, I chose to take you at your word. Even though I knew they aren’t worth a dime in a pile of horseshit. Guy sends his best by the way, Eric Kripke though, not so much.”
“I can explain, Steve,” Chris started his past coming up and slamming into him with such a force it almost left him breathless. “I swear, I can explain.” Only he wasn’t going to get much of a chance to by the look on Steve’s face.
“All these years I blamed Jen. Turned my back on him, even though I knew if I’d been honest with myself that the biggest problem he had was you. You manipulatin’ him, you sellin’ him like a damn piece of steak to Tom Welling, you messin’ his head up so bad, time and time again. He’s ALMOST completely blown this thing between him and Jay. Fortunately for him though, Jared loves Jensen more than you understand.”
“Fortunately for all of us I guess, because if Jared hadn’t loved Jensen enough to come to someone he knew would give him honest answers, I woulda never learned it was you that stole my future from me. What’s wrong, Christian? Couldn’t handle the possibility that I might become bigger than you? Couldn’t risk the possibility of what might happen if I was out of your space for long enough to breathe air clean of your treachery and bullshit?”
“I love you, man,” Chris blurted, pulling out a last ditch effort to salvage something he’d been nurturing for years as he watched it falling from his grasp. Unfortunately, for him though for the second time in only a number of days, he found himself sitting on the ground on his ass. Of course, Steve had to hit the same damned eye Jared did, the bastard. “Goddamnit, Steve! Cut that crap out right now!”
“What the fuck is goin’ on out here?” He heard before Steve could respond, and looked over to see Jared coming out of the guest room.
Spotting Chris sitting on his ass on the floor, Jared leaned against the doorjamb and crossed his arms. Part of him was aching to strangle the motherfucker, but the rest of him was just too exhausted mentally and physically to get into it with the dickhead right then, besides it looked like Steve was doing a helluva job on his own.
“You know, Christian, the sad part about all of this, is that you can be a half-way decent bastard when you feel like it. When you aren’t using people, manipulatin’ people, and tryin’ to keep ‘em pitted against each other alla time. You have a way of figurin’ people out that you could use to help ‘em if you weren’t spendin’ so fuckin’ much time tryin’ to ruin their lives.”
“The problem is that one of those lives you tried to ruin is Jen’s and man, I just can’t let you get away with that. One a these days you an’ me are gonna go, man. We’re gonna go and I promise you, bitch, that I ain’t losin’. I’ma kick your ass so fuckin bad your momma ain’t gonna recognize you.”
“But it ain’t gonna be today. ‘Cause frankly I’m too tired, I don’t wanna mess up Steve’s apartment, and honestly I got more important things I gotta get solved, and you just are NOT a priority for me right now. So, why don’t you be a good little dog, and run along and go somewhere else ‘fore I throw you out and forget I decided not to kick your ass today?”
Chris looked at Jared slack-jawed then turned his gaze to Steve, panic filling his stomach, leaving him with the feeling that he was about to be sick. He’d always believed Jared Padalecki would be his ruin, and it seemed he was right. “Steve,” he tried one last time holding a hand out in desperation, only to find himself looking at Steve’s back as he turned and walked away shutting himself inside what had just the night before been their bedroom.
“Where the fuck am I s’posed to go?” Chris snarled angrily giving up all pretenses of being nice and Jared just smiled back coldly. “Frankly, Christian, I don’t give a damn. Just get out, and give me your fuckin’ door key before you leave. Steve don’t need to deal with you sneakin’ in on him.”
“ It ain’t your right to take this key back!” Christian spat and Jared simply straightened away from the doorway pulling himself up to his full height, his hard muscles not hidden behind their usual layers, as he’d been sleeping without any shirt on at all.
“You can give it to me, or I can take it. Suddenly, I’m beginning to change my mind about this not kickin' your ass today thing, but it’s your choice. If you think you can take me, take your chance, Hobbit Boy.”
Angrily, Christian took the key off his ring and threw it at Jared before getting up and stomping out, slamming the front door behind him as he left. Shaking his head, Jared shoved the key into his pocket, intending to give it to Steve later, for the moment though, he turned and made his way back to bed needing to give his brain a rest. This was all becoming way too much for him to deal with without Jensen by his side. The absence of his boyfriend next to him, kept him up way longer than he’d hoped.
Across town, Jensen was following Mike and Chad into Chad’s townhouse. He’d been there a few times, so he was familiar enough with the layout that he didn’t need Chad to show him to a guest room. Dropping his bags by the end of the bed, Jensen sank down onto the mattress, letting himself fall backward, before rolling onto his side and curling into a ball. He wasn’t sure what was worse, the need to go and find the first dealer he could; or, the need to go find Jared, and bury himself in Jared’s arms where he could beg for forgiveness.
God, he needed Jared.
Every second that went by without him just reinforced to him how very much he needed him back. He didn’t even know how to function anymore without the knowledge that Jared would be there to catch him if he fucked up. And then, the possibility that he could never be there again, was enough to send him spiraling downward into a depression he couldn’t see a way out of.
“Whatcha doin Jen?” He heard from the door, but barely shrugged, not seeing any reason to move from his spot on the bed. “Jay ain’t gonna be found in my guest room.”
“If he was gonna stay here, he’d already be here. I hate to tell you. I know you’re worried, but now isn’t the time to mope. So, get your ass up and start usin’ your brains.”
“If you were Jared, and you didn’t come here. Where would you go?”
That though was the problem. If Jared hadn’t run to Chad, Jensen had no clue where to look for him at.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Steve laid in his bed, eyes closed and pretending to sleep as fingers ran idly through his blonde shaggy hair. “God I love ya, Steve.” He heard Chris breathe and couldn’t help but shiver opening his eyes to look up at the man he loved.
They’d come so far, battled their way through so much, wading through bullshit even Steve at times wasn’t sure they’d get through. He felt Chris’ lips on his chest moving down from his collar, locking around a nipple making him arch off the sheets as he moaned softly. “Love you,” he whispered back lifting a hand to clutch at Chris’ dirty blonde hair. “Need you.”
As always it seemed as if the smallest touch from his lover could ignite the flames in his blood making everything else, seem trivial. “Need,” he whimpered again as Chris ran a hand down his body, brushing his stomach, stroking the sensitive flesh on his inner thigh before teasing his cock, making the sounds cry out that much louder.
“Chris,” he begged hands clenching sheets, his body already exhausted from earlier love making responding quicker than he believed should be humanly possible. He figured with anyone else it probably would be, but Chris had always held all his secrets in his hands. “Chris, please. Need.” He begged again feeling fingers slipping inside him, slick and cool from the lube covering them.
When lips surrounded him while fingers continued to stretch, he wasn’t sure he would make it to the end. His body sang songs his fans would never hear, these lyrics reserved for him and Chris alone. “Need,” he begged one last time before he was filled with that familiar length, that hard velvet soft rod that he was positive he couldn’t live without.
The song continued, it’s rhythm speeding up, harmonies and chorus combining, creating and reworking as Chris worked his body, his touch familiar and yet still exciting. The ending came suddenly, his body not up for the marathon they’d had earlier, his mouth open, with no sound, Chris’ soft cry of his name wrapping warmth around his heart as it always did.
Afterward he’d lain with his hands buried in Chris’ hair watching the ceiling as his lover snored, arrogantly believing that nothing could ever come between them.
He should have known better.
For the second time that day, Steve sat on the floor in his living room staring at his door after someone’d knocked on it. It was definitely later in the day than the first time it’d happened. Jared had come somewhere around late morning, and Steve’s stomach was reminding him it was almost suppertime, and he hadn’t eaten yet that day. Getting up as he heard the second knock, he headed to the door and yet again blinked at the site on the other side of his peephole. Resting his forehead against the door for a moment, he turned his head and looked in the general direction of the guest room where Jared was sleeping, and wondered if his friend was ready for this.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
“Are you sure Jared would come here?” Mike asked sounding doubtful, and shrugged giving up said doubts when both Chad and Jensen nodded. Jensen had been the one to come up with the idea, but as soon as he’d said the name, Chad’d slapped his forehead and said, “of course,” like there wasn’t any other possibility.
He supposed maybe if you knew Jared, as well as they did, there wasn’t, but for Mike, coming to see a man he hated, didn’t make much sense to him. When the door finally opened, Mike saw a rather curious and hesitant looking Steve on the other side. A Steve who barely spared he and Chad a glance as he stared at Jensen, as if he was trying to find the solution to the world’s problems on his face.
Only then, before any of them could anticipate it, Steve’d stepped forward and pulled Jensen in for a hug tight enough Mike was wondering if damage would be done, as Steve repeatedly told Jensen how sorry he was. Fortunately Chad finally remembered they were standing in the hallway giving Steve’s neighbor’s quite the show, and urged Steve and Jensen far enough into the apartment so the two of them could follow locking them all safely in.
Once inside though, they were again at a loss as to what was going on. Steve was apologizing, and Jensen was crying and trying to apologize for what seemed to be Steve’s thinking that he needed to apologize, and he was just grateful when he looked at Chad, that his friend or pseudo-boyfriend seemed to be as confused as he was.
“Jared has to be here,” Chad finally whispered in his ear and Mike couldn’t help but snicker, covering his mouth because really, only Jared could cause a situation like this and not even need to be present to do so.
Eventually, Chad got tired of standing in the entry way and again urged Jensen and Steve to move, shoving them into the living room and onto the couch while he and Mike folded themselves into one of those, chair and a half things, neither of them minding that they had to pretty much cuddle to do so.
Mike figured if they were half way decent people they would have found somewhere else to go in the apartment, but honestly, this was just too compelling of entertainment to pass up. It was like watching your very own live soap opera, a fact that made him snicker before he shared it with Chad, whispering it in his ear.
Once the two men on the couch finally settled down enough so that they could speak coherently, Chad decided he was going to be the one to lead this conversation and started with what Mike though was a highly reasonable question. “Steve, have you developed PMS or has Jared done something we don’t know about?”
Mike couldn’t help but snicker at it. From the glares that they were getting from Steve and Jensen, they apparently didn’t share his amusement, but it was nice to know that underneath all that grown up Chad’d been lately there was still a slightly juvenile punk that Mike adored so much.
“What?” Chad squealed holding his hands up in mock surrender. “It’s an honest question. I mean only Jared could cause this kind of confusion. So, come on Stevie, ‘fess up. Jayman is somewhere around here ain’t he. And, what did he do to bring you back to the force?”
“Don’t call me Stevie,” Steve said automatically glaring at Chad, until the twitch in his lips gave him away, and he was forced to smile openly. “And, I suppose you’re right. Love the guy like a brother, but he does have a way about him. He just… I mean... we just…” Steve sighed and ran a hand through his blond locks, taking a deep breath and turning his attention back to Jensen.
Finally, Jensen began to squirm under the intensity of Steve’s gaze and turned to look at Chad, who just shrugged at him, before turning back to Steve.
“It just occurred to me,” Steve started sighing again, as he got up to get his cigarette’s before coming back. Lighting one he inhaled deeply before beginning to speak again. “Do you even know why we’re fighting? I mean, why I was mad? You know, since I never would tell you ‘because, I just assumed you knew what you’d done. Only now that I know you didn’t do it, Chris did… I mean, I just realized this is so much more fucked up that I thought. ‘Cause I bet you don’t, do you? You don’t even know why I was pissed. Jesus this is so fucked up! I swear Jay better let me watch when he beats the crap outta Chris.”
“Wait, slow down, what?” Jensen interrupted shaking his head looking back and for the between Chad and Steve that Mike was afraid his head was gonna pop off his shoulders. “You’re mad at, Jared’s gonna, huh? Jared’s here? Really? Honestly?”
Then before any of them realized what was happening - Mike later blamed it on the intense mind fuck Jared had created, and therefore it was his own fault when he found Jensen on top of him in Steve’s guest room with no warning - Jensen tore down the hallway shouting Jared’s name and throwing doors open. Steve naturally tore after him, not wanting Jared to be caught surprised, knowing Jared was sleeping finally and not sure that he was in any mind space to deal with Jensen. Chad shot up, dumping Mike on his ass on the floor, but was at least thoughtful enough to help him up before chasing after. And, Mike finally gave chase for no reason other than he knew all the excitement was gonna be down the hall and didn’t wanna miss out.
Jared had been sleeping, curled up on his side around a pillow that wasn’t nearly big enough to be Jensen, when he was woken up - rather rudely, he had to admit - when something landed on him with such a force he was surprised it didn’t pop his shoulder out of the socket and break half his ribs.
“Jay, Jay baby, Jay, Jesus, it’s you.” He heard and opening his eyes confused found himself being showered with kisses falling over his face and chest between pleas and tears. “God baby, I’m so fuckin’ sorry. Please, you can’t give up now, please Jay please. God I need you, I love you, and I’m so fuckin sorry, Jay please. Please, you can’t leave me now please, Jay. Please, you gotta come back please, Jay, please. Please, please, please, Jay please, please. I need you; I can’t make it without you. God, I am so stupid, you were right, I see it now, Jay, I swear I do. I ain’t even lyin’ just to get you back. I’m sorry, Jay please, don’t let him take you from me please, Jay please, God please, Jay please. I’m sorry; I’m so fuckin’ sorry, Jay please, please, please.”
For Jared it was one of the most humbling and heartbreaking moments of his life. To have someone need him so much they would lower themselves to begging and groveling just to keep his attention and affection, and to have that person be Jensen, the one person, he loved above all others. Well, Jared couldn’t help but feel like he’d caused this somehow, like he’d let Jensen down somehow, when after all he’d sworn that he’d never let someone do this to Jensen again. Even if it was Jensen who may have done this to himself, Jared wasn’t ready to admit that yet.
“Jen,” he breathed more than spoke, rolling over and putting his arms around his boyfriend, pulling his face up and taking his lips letting his hands roam over his back. Vaguely somewhere in the back of his head he heard the door click, but he didn’t either acknowledge it or frankly care about it because the way Jensen’s hands were traveling over his body, it was quite clear one of them was getting laid, and for once, Jared hoped that it was him.
He didn’t have many clothes on. After the showdown with Chris in the hall, he’d stripped off the jeans he’d been wearing leaving himself in only a pair of boxers that Jensen was quickly trying to work down his hips and off his body completely. Once he had that accomplished, Jensen quickly rid himself of his own clothes, his eyes never leaving Jared’s face once. His need was so intense that his entire body was trembling, and once he was finally rid of his clothing, he launched himself back at Jared moaning his pleasure when Jared’s lips found their way away from his face and down his body.
“Want you to fuck me, Jen.” Jared whispered voice husky and deep dropped down to that notch only Jensen could hear. “Want you to fuck me like, I belong to you, want you to show me I belong to you, want you to fuck Christian’ goddamned fuckin’ Kane right out of both our minds. Want you, Jen. Want you hard, want you fast, want you to burn your way through me like you own me. Want you Jen.”
Jensen was beyond words. His dick was so hard, he was afraid it would either shatter, or he’d come before he could take up the offer Jared was dishing up for him. Jared wasn’t the only one who wanted. If having Jared make love to him was something special, having Jared let Jensen make love to him was an occasion worthy of words Jensen didn’t even know, but he was damned if he was gonna pass it up.
Jensen reached over and opened the nightstand, glad to feel that Steve still kept tubes of lube in every room of his house. Then after getting one more breath-stealing kiss from his boyfriend, Jensen found their places reversed, with Jared again lying on the bed, and Jensen now perched on top of him like a dazed and very horny blanket.
Placing the lube beside the pillow, Jensen leaned down taking a kiss of his own, remapping Jared’s mouth in his mind, relearning all the things he’d been scared shitless he’d never get again. He wanted to take his time with this. Jared’d said fast and burning, but once the reigns had been firmly been put in his hands, Jensen found himself wanting to give something else.
He needed with his whole being to show Jared that he was worthy of the love he was given by this man. He needed to be able to show Jared that he knew Jared was the man and the only man that Jensen needed in his life. He needed to make Jared believe that no matter how stupid he got, or how scared he got, and how many dumbass mistakes they made him make, or how retarded his words got, that Jared was the center of Jensen’s entire universe, and without him to warm his world, the rest wasn’t worth living.
For the longest time, they just laid there like that, Jared on his back, Jensen lying over him kissing and touching, Jensen’s hands feeling their way over Jared’s chest and arms. He had no concept of time; he had no realities other than this one that contained only him and Jared in this moment and this moment alone. There was no beyond this because he firmly believed that if he didn’t do this right, there wouldn’t be a beyond this.
Eventually, Jensen’s mouth moved off Jared’s red and now swollen lips and headed southward pausing to suck and nibble and leave a mark or two or more on Jared’s long beautiful neck, craving the knowledge that anyone who saw them would know they were made by him. His hands though continued to roam and tease. His fingers rolling nipples into hardened buds until Jared was squirming beneath him, his freed lips continuing to let those words of encouragement flow freely serving only to strengthen Jensen’s resolve.
After whatever it was inside of him that needed Jared marked was satisfied, Jensen moved his lips downward again trading fingers for pouty cock-sucking lips wrapping themselves around hardened and sensitive nipples, making Jared cry out and beg further, his hands wrapping in Jensen’s hair trapping him in place as he made his pleasure at Jensen’s actions clearly known. His body moved beneath Jensen’s, his thigh, whether on purpose or inadvertently, brushing up against Jensen’s swollen and leaking cock, bringing a moan out despite the nipple he was still lavishing attention upon.
“Jay,” Jensen let out, the nipple slipping out of his mouth as his body shuddered momentarily, while he fought not to come right then and there. Then he turned his attention back to Jared moving his mouth downward again nibbling and biting once more sucking on the wounds leaving a trail of marks down Jared’s chest and over his abs until he found himself at a nest of dark curls and paused.
Tilting his gaze upward again until he could see Jay’s face, Jensen smirked, taking in the need-flushed face and passion hazed eyes that could see nothing but him. Turning his face, he brushed his cheek against one of Jared’s thighs sucking on the flesh momentarily, leaving more marks before turning his attention to the source that had brought him so much pleasure. Foregoing his dick for a moment, Jensen slipped one of his balls into his mouth sucking lightly as his fingers roamed over the underside of hardened flesh making Jared cry out and beg even more, his feet moving restlessly over the sheets, fists curling into any fabric they could find.
“Jen please, need you in me.” Jared begged brokenly when Jensen finally moved his attention to where his fingers had been lips and tongue moving up and over and around circling and surrounding aching flesh that was practically crying out for attention on its own.
Reaching up, Jensen managed to locate the lube squeezing liberal amounts over his hand and fingers before carefully slipping them into Jay, one at a time. He teased and stretched Jay as his mouth continued to work Jared’s cock in earnest, hallowing out his cheeks wanting to bring Jared off so that he had time to harden again and come with Jensen when he did.
“Fuck, Jen please, just little more, Jen!” Jared encouraged and shouted before Jensen tasted him flowing over his tongue and down his throat. Greedily, he sucked as if receiving nectar straight from the Gods themselves. In that moment, he was almost certain this was all he needed to survive, drinking in Jay every time he got hungry, and briefly considered barricading them in Steve’s guestroom forever, until his own cock reminded him that it hadn’t gotten any attention yet.
Moving back up Jared’s body, Jensen took Jared’s face in his hands, staring into his eyes before stealing another kiss, this one less lazy and more need filled than the previous ones. There had been promises of the things to come and mistakes he was swearing never to make again, this wrought with desperation and conviction. He knew that he might be in the middle of his only chance at happiness ever, knowing this might be his one shot to give himself a chance to fix what he’d fucked up so badly. He needed to do something with his actions that he didn’t yet know how to say with words. Jared’s already swollen lips were ravaged by Jensen’s mouth as each other’s hands clenched over parts. Jared grabbing arms and Jensen hips each leaving marks that would later turn into bruises neither would care were there.
“Love you, Jay,” Jensen breathed, his lips hovering over Jared’s. Their eyes connected as their bodies brushed together, their erections rubbing together as Jensen’s screamed for attentions and Jared’s came back to life, not wanting to be left out. Some weeks back at the rehab place they’d taken blood tests, Jensen’s was part of the package, Jay’s just to see if they could get rid of the condoms, it was moments like this when Jensen was thankful to find out they’d surprisingly - at least in his case - come back clean.
Moving back down Jared’s body, Jensen placed himself between Jared’s legs, feeling his lover slip them around his waist as Jared put pillows under his lips to help things. Lifting a shaky hand, Jensen put it on Jared’s stomach, intending to rub lightly, but finding himself locked in Jared’s gaze as his body separated itself from his mind to take over while Jensen lost himself in his lover’s eyes.
Feeling Jared slipping around him inch by tight inch was an experience Jensen knew that he’d never forget. This feeling, this moment, was some reaffirmation of what they had. That Jared would share this with Jensen, that he would give Jensen something no one else had ever thought he was good enough for, that Jared wouldn’t just give it, but that he would ask for it, needing it was quite possibly all the encouragement Jensen needed to get himself back on the track he needed to be on.
“Love you, Jay, love you so much. Never love anyone more than you. Never need anyone more than you, never want anyone more than you. Never look at anyone again, ‘cause all I see is you. Never been this good enough for anyone ‘til you, Jay, ‘til you saved me, and you believe in me and baby, I love you so fuckin’ much I’d die if I lost you. I mean it Jay, I mean it like I’ve never meant anything else.”
“I mean it so goddamned bad I can’t think of anything but you. Love you, Jay, love you. Love you, love you, God baby I fuckin’ love you.” And on it went as Jensen found himself sliding in and out of Jared, holding those beautiful eyes with his own, feeling like they were the only people in the whole world. Feeling like this moment was everything he’d imagined and more than he’d ever expected. Feeling his devotion to Jared increasing steadily and shoving out anyone else until all that existed in Jensen’s heart and soul and reality was Jared Tristan Padalecki.
His hand wrapped around Jared, Jensen pulled and squeezed coaxing Jared back into the game with him, bringing his lover along on the amazing ride he was on. Having come once already though, Jared didn’t last long before finally his eyes squeezed shut, head tilted back, back arching off the bed, muscles clenching tightly around Jensen as he opened his mouth and let loose a holler, screaming Jensen’s name for all to hear as he came splattering all over his chest and Jensen’s. The sight was so powerful, and the feel of Jared spasming around him was all Jen needed and more and quickly he followed one hand clenching one of Jared’s thighs leaving yet another mark Jared would proudly carry over the days to come. Jensen wasn’t loud like Jared, no hollering occurred from him, just an open mouth with no sound coming out, as if Jensen’s mind was so blown it couldn’t remember what words were let alone how to form them.
Sometime later, he found himself lying across Jared’s body, feeling Jared’s hand moving though his hair. The stickiness was becoming an issue, especially for Jensen who had developed a thing for being clean once Jared saved him from his homeless state in the allies of Vancouver. “We should take a shower,” Jared said softly his lips pressed briefly into Jensen’s hair before his head dropped back down, and Jensen curled in closer for a moment before nodding.
“An’ we still gotta talk, I suppose,” Jensen whispered almost scared, scared suddenly that this glorious moment that had just occurred between them could have been ‘goodbye’ instead of ‘welcome back, don’t leave ever again’.
“Yes we do,” Jared said firmly but gently giving Jared another kiss this time on his cheek. “Because, I am not letting this crap with Christian come between us anymore. And, you need to talk to Steve, or we need to talk to Steve, unless you already have?”
Jensen shook his head as he relaxed at Jared’s words, which were not even in the realm of ‘It was great, but I never want to see you again after this mind blowing sex we just had’. “No, not really. I mean we hugged and cried manly tears, and he was sayin’ some shit I still don’t get about Chris, but… No, I guess we didn’t. Not really anyway.”
Jared nodded and sighed wondering how Jensen was going to take what was hopefully the last blow to his wounded psyche from Christian motherfuckin’ Kane. “Yeah, Steve and I worked out what happened that caused him to get mad at ya. I guess we should shower then and go out there so we all can talk and shit. Did you bring Chad and Mike with you? Or, did you leave them back at the rehab place?”
“They’re out there with Steve,” Jensen said burying his face in Jared’s neck a moment before rolling to one side and grabbing Jared’s hand leaving him little choice but to follow.
“Geez Jen, we takin’ a shower together, or we gonna talk to Steve nude?” Jared asked and Jensen didn’t have to look to see the smirk on his face, it was clearly evident in his voice. Steve’s shower wasn’t very big; especially, to share with a man the size of Jared, but Jensen figured they were smart and resourceful guys, so they could figure it out. Besides, he wanted to see if he could suck Jay’s cock back to life one more time before he faced the rest of the world.
~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~**~~
Christian wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting in the bar drinking beer and shots. He’d already had more than he should, more than he’d ever promised Steve that he would have ever again, but since Steve was gone, he didn’t see a reason to hold onto any of the promises that he’d made him. His conscious told him he wasn’t being fair, that the only reason he was in the position he was in was because of his own actions, but the wounds were too raw, too fresh for him to be fair about anything.
All he knew was that he’d tried damnit. He’d put more into Steve than he’d ever put into any other human being, maybe even himself, and yet he was still all alone. Reconciliation hadn’t even occurred to him as a possibility, explaining himself, taking responsibility for his actions hadn’t occurred to him either. So far, he hadn’t gotten to a point where he could see anything, but who was to blame, and Jared was the most obvious and easiest target.
Much later he’d come to regret what his self pitying had led to, but at that moment, with the alcohol flowing through his veins maybe thicker than the blood, the voice of reason was more than a little muffled.
“Chris!” He heard and turning his head caught himself looking into Tom’s brown glassy eyes. Smiling weakly, Chris lifted his shot glass saluting the other man before downing the alcohol inside. As he let the liquid burn its way down his throat, Chris took a moment to study Tom, and came to the decision that he looked like crap.
Life without Mike didn’t seem to be agreeing with him, or maybe it was the lack of having someone to distract him from jumping over the edge of that cliff into the abyss of nothingness. From the looks of it, not only had Tom jumped, but he was apparently wallowing in whatever he’d found.
“How goes?” Tom asked signaling the bartender for a beer and a shot of his own.
“Crappy,” Chris drawled ordering one of each for himself as well. “Jared came into town, saw Steve, and managed to fuck up my life. Now Steve threw me out and won’t talk to me.”
Tom growled angrily tossing back his shot like it was water, shaking his head. “That fuckin’ bastard. You know, I used to think he was a good guy, but it’s obvious he’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Ruinin’ everyone else’s happiness so his pathetic relationship with that junkie looks better.”
“Hey!” Chris snapped angrily. “Leave Jenny outta this. Ain’t his fault, Jared’s just messed with his head is all. Yeah, that’s it. Jared’s just manipulatin’ him. If it weren’t for Jared, Jenny’d be thinkin’ straight, and this woulda never happened.”
Tom smiled coldly and pulled back his jacket to show the gun hidden at his side. “Well then, no worries man. I got it all covered.”
Something inside Chris’ head screamed, but instead of listening, he just drowned it out with more booze.
Something else he’d regret later.
Chapter Four