Fanfic: Yuri Lowell vs a bunch of vampires which sparkle, a Mary Sue and a ‘werewolf’
A/N: Now see, I'm no writer. I don't like to write fanfics.. but I do love them plot bunnies. One day, I had a dream where some Vesperia people brilliantly bashed a bunch of vampires which sparkle, a Mary Sue and a ‘werewolf’. I tweeted this to tranquilie and she told me to write a ficcu. So.. I typed the ficcu... ON TWITTER!!! tranquilie then compiled it, and sent it back to me. After a bit of editing, formatting and stuff... I decided to post it... and stuff.....
Oh and btw, this author totally dislikes Twilight. Before saying that her hate is biased, let it be known that she watched the first three movies and read the last book (because her mom wanted the book so being the nice daughter she is, she bought it on discount and while waiting to give it to said mom, read it, only to cringe at the plot).
The fic is littered with memes and shit from various sources. Oh, and I used both the Japanese and the English names for Yuri's artes...
Yuri Lowell vs a bunch of vampires which sparkle, a Mary Sue and a ‘werewolf’
One day, Yuri Lowell was walking about when ENCOUNTER LINK *screen breaks*, several WILD SPARKLING VAMPIRES APPEARED. Said vampires were accompanied by ULTRA MARY SUE and BUFF WOLF GUY. Yuri then started to prepare for battle by dramatically throwing his scabbard away and leaving his trusty Repede-like thingy Repede (because it is neither a dog nor a wolf according to Yuri) to chase after it.
Feeling confident, Yuri decided to defeat the enemies alone. Just as he was about to bask in his own awesomeness, the vampires started to take of their clothes (the male ones anyway) and sunbathe.
“AUGH!” Yuri yelled as he shielded his eyes from a sudden burst of SPARKLES which sparkled so bright he nearly went blind. Yuri automatically went into a defensive stance and expected the worst, but to his surprise, no attack came until his eyes readjusted to his surroundings.
He had a wtf look on his face as he saw that the ULTRA MARY SUE and one of the vampires make out. The other vampires were just being prissy while the BUFF WOLF GUY was seething in anger.
Yuri then readied himself and aimed for the oldest looking vampire in the group. “SOUHAJIN” (aka Azure Edge), yelled Yuri, as a blue projectile emitted from his sword. It was a perfect hit, and as one might say if one were playing an FPS, “…Boom Headshot”. Yuri smirked as he saw that vampire vanish into a puddle of dust.
Shocked, the other vampires started screaming and angsting all at the same time. After 45 seconds of nonstop screaming, they then charged at Yuri like a pack of 30 Tauros. Seeing them like that, Yuri smirked and muttered “JUST AS PLANNED”, as he backflipped into the air, and “BAKUSAIJIN!” (Destruction Field). The vampires all screamed like a Ragna who had just seen a ghost [1], and died.
It was at this moment where ULTRA MARY SUE and that other vampire she was making out with stopped being mushy. ULTRA MARY SUE then started to use a technique called WHINE and it somehow powered up that vampire who is now referred to as Vamp Guy and BUFF WOLF GUY who is now known as Wolf Guy. Alas, it did not have the same effect on Yuri, as his stats (particularly defense) were lowered.
The two guys charged towards Yuri, but Yuri masterfully dodged them by using BACKSTEP. Yuri then countered by hitting one of them with “SAZANKA!” (Cerberus Strike). As soon as he finished his move, Wolf Guy transformed into a wolf and started to attack Yuri. Being the flashy bastard he is, Yuri elegantly swished aside, and hit Wolf Guy with “ENSENGA” (Shining Fang).
The two enemies could not stand any more of Yuri's attacks and decided to retreat. ULTRA MARY SUE was clearly unimpressed and used MONOLOGUE which caused the two guys to recharge. However, the MONOLOGUE apparently only worked on Vamp Guy as Wolf Guy suddenly attacked Vamp Guy.
Yuri decided to chill for a while, and sat in a corner and ate a crepe. After 25 minutes of savouring his crepe, he decided that he wanted to end the fight as the yells of “EDWARD!”, “JACOB!”, “BELLA!”, “I LOVE YOU!”, “OBJECTION!”, “THIS REMINDS ME OF A PUZZLE!”, “WHATAMIFIGHTINGFOOOR!”, “I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO FILL YOUR DARK SOUL WITH LIIIIGHT (light… light…)!” and “GET OVER HERE!” was starting to grate his ears. He called upon his inner strength and went into OVERLIMIT!
He then rushed towards the group of three and attacked using his SOUHA GAROUGEKI (Azure Wolf Strike) arte. At the end of the strike, all three of them had apparently passed out, but, still being the flashy bastard that he is, Yuri decided to finish them off with style. And thus… “Hirameke, Senretsunaru yaiba! Muhen no yami wo surudoku kirisaki, Atanasu mono wo mijin ni kudaku! Kimatta! ZANKOU ROUEIJIN!!!” (Let's finish this! O brilliant blade of coldest steel, rend the infinite darkness, and crush my enemies to nothing! Savage Wolf Fury).
As he finished his flashy move of flashiness, Yuri turned around to look at his handiwork. A pile of dust and human meat littered the ground. Proud of his handiwork, Yuri spun his sword and posed. “You want revenge? Bring it!”, he said, knowing full well that his enemies would have no chance to do so. He heard a tiny yelp coming from his left and saw Repede running towards him with his scabbard, the one he threw away dramatically in the beginning.
“It took you THAT long to find it, Repede?”, he smirked, as he took the scabbard from Repede, sheathed his sword, and continued his journey, with a very tired Repede muttering about ungrateful masters who can't even take care of their scabbards (in doggie language of course).
THE END
[1] This here is a clip of Ragna screaming OH SO CUTELY at 1:48! Spoilers for Ragna’s BlazBlue Continuum Shift’s Joke Ending.
Oh and btw, this author totally dislikes Twilight. Before saying that her hate is biased, let it be known that she watched the first three movies and read the last book (because her mom wanted the book so being the nice daughter she is, she bought it on discount and while waiting to give it to said mom, read it, only to cringe at the plot).
The fic is littered with memes and shit from various sources. Oh, and I used both the Japanese and the English names for Yuri's artes...
Yuri Lowell vs a bunch of vampires which sparkle, a Mary Sue and a ‘werewolf’
One day, Yuri Lowell was walking about when ENCOUNTER LINK *screen breaks*, several WILD SPARKLING VAMPIRES APPEARED. Said vampires were accompanied by ULTRA MARY SUE and BUFF WOLF GUY. Yuri then started to prepare for battle by dramatically throwing his scabbard away and leaving his trusty Repede-like thingy Repede (because it is neither a dog nor a wolf according to Yuri) to chase after it.
Feeling confident, Yuri decided to defeat the enemies alone. Just as he was about to bask in his own awesomeness, the vampires started to take of their clothes (the male ones anyway) and sunbathe.
“AUGH!” Yuri yelled as he shielded his eyes from a sudden burst of SPARKLES which sparkled so bright he nearly went blind. Yuri automatically went into a defensive stance and expected the worst, but to his surprise, no attack came until his eyes readjusted to his surroundings.
He had a wtf look on his face as he saw that the ULTRA MARY SUE and one of the vampires make out. The other vampires were just being prissy while the BUFF WOLF GUY was seething in anger.
Yuri then readied himself and aimed for the oldest looking vampire in the group. “SOUHAJIN” (aka Azure Edge), yelled Yuri, as a blue projectile emitted from his sword. It was a perfect hit, and as one might say if one were playing an FPS, “…Boom Headshot”. Yuri smirked as he saw that vampire vanish into a puddle of dust.
Shocked, the other vampires started screaming and angsting all at the same time. After 45 seconds of nonstop screaming, they then charged at Yuri like a pack of 30 Tauros. Seeing them like that, Yuri smirked and muttered “JUST AS PLANNED”, as he backflipped into the air, and “BAKUSAIJIN!” (Destruction Field). The vampires all screamed like a Ragna who had just seen a ghost [1], and died.
It was at this moment where ULTRA MARY SUE and that other vampire she was making out with stopped being mushy. ULTRA MARY SUE then started to use a technique called WHINE and it somehow powered up that vampire who is now referred to as Vamp Guy and BUFF WOLF GUY who is now known as Wolf Guy. Alas, it did not have the same effect on Yuri, as his stats (particularly defense) were lowered.
The two guys charged towards Yuri, but Yuri masterfully dodged them by using BACKSTEP. Yuri then countered by hitting one of them with “SAZANKA!” (Cerberus Strike). As soon as he finished his move, Wolf Guy transformed into a wolf and started to attack Yuri. Being the flashy bastard he is, Yuri elegantly swished aside, and hit Wolf Guy with “ENSENGA” (Shining Fang).
The two enemies could not stand any more of Yuri's attacks and decided to retreat. ULTRA MARY SUE was clearly unimpressed and used MONOLOGUE which caused the two guys to recharge. However, the MONOLOGUE apparently only worked on Vamp Guy as Wolf Guy suddenly attacked Vamp Guy.
Yuri decided to chill for a while, and sat in a corner and ate a crepe. After 25 minutes of savouring his crepe, he decided that he wanted to end the fight as the yells of “EDWARD!”, “JACOB!”, “BELLA!”, “I LOVE YOU!”, “OBJECTION!”, “THIS REMINDS ME OF A PUZZLE!”, “WHATAMIFIGHTINGFOOOR!”, “I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE TO FILL YOUR DARK SOUL WITH LIIIIGHT (light… light…)!” and “GET OVER HERE!” was starting to grate his ears. He called upon his inner strength and went into OVERLIMIT!
He then rushed towards the group of three and attacked using his SOUHA GAROUGEKI (Azure Wolf Strike) arte. At the end of the strike, all three of them had apparently passed out, but, still being the flashy bastard that he is, Yuri decided to finish them off with style. And thus… “Hirameke, Senretsunaru yaiba! Muhen no yami wo surudoku kirisaki, Atanasu mono wo mijin ni kudaku! Kimatta! ZANKOU ROUEIJIN!!!” (Let's finish this! O brilliant blade of coldest steel, rend the infinite darkness, and crush my enemies to nothing! Savage Wolf Fury).
As he finished his flashy move of flashiness, Yuri turned around to look at his handiwork. A pile of dust and human meat littered the ground. Proud of his handiwork, Yuri spun his sword and posed. “You want revenge? Bring it!”, he said, knowing full well that his enemies would have no chance to do so. He heard a tiny yelp coming from his left and saw Repede running towards him with his scabbard, the one he threw away dramatically in the beginning.
“It took you THAT long to find it, Repede?”, he smirked, as he took the scabbard from Repede, sheathed his sword, and continued his journey, with a very tired Repede muttering about ungrateful masters who can't even take care of their scabbards (in doggie language of course).
THE END
[1] This here is a clip of Ragna screaming OH SO CUTELY at 1:48! Spoilers for Ragna’s BlazBlue Continuum Shift’s Joke Ending.