What the fuck (well, really, why the fuck?)
So I feel a little overwhelmed right now, and a little irrational. Room draw happened tonight, and, coupled with the lingering frenzy surrounding being in a pick group that I don't know that well and the insanity of the cluster draw, it kind of drove me over the edge (I think?)
Honestly, I'm not sure what my problem is. Mere minutes (well, maybe an hour or two) ago I felt perfectly fine with how our situation worked out. I mean, it wasn't perfect, but we're all together, we're all in fairly nice rooms (I hope?) in a nice house, so yeah, it's okay. But then the reality of having to live with someone for an entire year sort of hit me, and I realized that all these cozy habits I've built up, huddled away at my desk, doing whatever the fuck I want in my room, will have to be radically altered to adjust to this new situation.
Not like I need any more uncertainty in my life. I suppose it didn't seem like such a big deal when we were in the Log, trying to figure out what our plan was. In fact, if I remember correctly, I was really one of the least stressed ones there. There was really a wonderful feeling of solidarity, probably fueled by exhaustion and adrenaline. We were a group and we were sticking together (except if there are three singles in Carter or Gladden, then Quinn and Alex take a double somewhere and the rest of us get singles...or, maybe if there are five singles in Greylock somewhere that aren't really right next to each other but not too far apart, well then I guess we'd take that, because, hey, the whole Greylock quad is mostly '09s, so we'd be among friends, ya know...)
But seriously. It's those little habits, the patterns of daily life that I worked so hard to establish, that make this life so great and so valuable to me, in many ways. And the thought of having to change them? Never occurred.
I'm sure that I am massively blowing this out of proportion, but it will be another adjustment on the scale of moving to school (roughly). Living in a single, I've been able to go it alone, which is generally what I like to do, and I'm not sure I'm ready or willing to settle down socially yet.
What I'd really like to do now is curl up on a blanked in the sun with a book to read, and probably end up falling asleep instead. But no, it's 2 AM and I'm frantically pecking away here, trying to stave of all my neuroses. I think work is out of the question, mostly cause my tutorial professor is out of town so (I hope) we don't have to hand anything in. So this is me channelling my primal scream through my keyboard and into the chamber of the internet, big and cavernous enough so that I won't disturb the sleep of anyone on my hall!
Honestly, I'm not sure what my problem is. Mere minutes (well, maybe an hour or two) ago I felt perfectly fine with how our situation worked out. I mean, it wasn't perfect, but we're all together, we're all in fairly nice rooms (I hope?) in a nice house, so yeah, it's okay. But then the reality of having to live with someone for an entire year sort of hit me, and I realized that all these cozy habits I've built up, huddled away at my desk, doing whatever the fuck I want in my room, will have to be radically altered to adjust to this new situation.
Not like I need any more uncertainty in my life. I suppose it didn't seem like such a big deal when we were in the Log, trying to figure out what our plan was. In fact, if I remember correctly, I was really one of the least stressed ones there. There was really a wonderful feeling of solidarity, probably fueled by exhaustion and adrenaline. We were a group and we were sticking together (except if there are three singles in Carter or Gladden, then Quinn and Alex take a double somewhere and the rest of us get singles...or, maybe if there are five singles in Greylock somewhere that aren't really right next to each other but not too far apart, well then I guess we'd take that, because, hey, the whole Greylock quad is mostly '09s, so we'd be among friends, ya know...)
But seriously. It's those little habits, the patterns of daily life that I worked so hard to establish, that make this life so great and so valuable to me, in many ways. And the thought of having to change them? Never occurred.
I'm sure that I am massively blowing this out of proportion, but it will be another adjustment on the scale of moving to school (roughly). Living in a single, I've been able to go it alone, which is generally what I like to do, and I'm not sure I'm ready or willing to settle down socially yet.
What I'd really like to do now is curl up on a blanked in the sun with a book to read, and probably end up falling asleep instead. But no, it's 2 AM and I'm frantically pecking away here, trying to stave of all my neuroses. I think work is out of the question, mostly cause my tutorial professor is out of town so (I hope) we don't have to hand anything in. So this is me channelling my primal scream through my keyboard and into the chamber of the internet, big and cavernous enough so that I won't disturb the sleep of anyone on my hall!