(no subject)
Thursday, Post day.
So many moods have come and gone since last Saturday, it'd be impossible to remember them, much less catalog them. Wouldn't it be cool to have internet access in your head? Then you could post whenever you wanted. Of course, you could end up posting things you'd later regret...
I've been feeling off for the last couple of days. One thing I like about this journal, since I've kept up with it(unlike the last one I started) is that it gives me a place to work some of these things out of my head. I haven't been posting as regularly this week, and a lot of these things are just kicking around in my head.
Despair makes the deserts, and if this isn't the Sahara, at least it's a sandbar, and it's dry, dusty, and hot....
I've been frustrated by my inability to make connections. My last CL buddy said he wanted to meet, then didn't email for nearly a week. I called him on it, and he said he was still interested, and promised a long message, but I'm back in the waiting game...
I felt so disconnected to my family at mother's day breakfast. I haven't done anything to get my family together since shortly after Christmas, and the last time we were all together was...shortly after Christmas. I wonder if my family even realizes I'm the glue, or at the very least the organizer and planner that keeps them in contact with each other. I wonder what would happen if I wasn't here. Would they notice I wasn't there? Would they notice they had drifted so far apart that they couldn't even find each other? I don't think they noticed they hadn't been together since Christmas, and I don't think they notice my efforts on their behalf. And as an added bit of salt on that wound, I'm the only single childless one...
More later, work now.