Rude Person: Bat/Cat Rooftop Fightsex
So, there's this 'net meme called Rude Person Fic, and it all got started because of some silly trolls. Basically, you try to write a common 'ship cliche frightfully clever and wretchedly awful, at the same time, while acting egotistically sure of yourself. I came up with this one, specific to DC Comics fandom:
Batman goes on patrol while being emo ( Read more... )
Batman goes on patrol while being emo ( Read more... )
Bruce checked himself out in the mirror. He had to admit, he did look good. He adjusted his tie and believed that this time, Alfred might be very much in the right.
“And most important, sir,” Alfred continued, “Remember to keep the growl out of your voice. Your tone should be debonair and in control.”
...
“Wayne. Bruce Wayne,” he smiled, his teeth almost sparkling when he did so. His eyes were drawn to the massive amount of exposed cleavage revealed by the woman’s tight, small, but elegant black dress. Inappropriate? Perhaps. Sexy as hell? God, yes. “And, what name would you like me to call out later tonight?”
“Hmmm,” a lovely smile formed on her gorgeous face. She might be persuaded to spend some time with him. Besides, she'd already stolen two paintings and a pair of jade statues that evening and there was no Batman that tried to stop her, “Selina Kyle will do.”
“Do what exactly?” Bruce’s eyes twinkled deviously. He was impressed with his luck at having met her on his first night away from the bat.
“Nothing I cannot do better, Beloved.”
Bruce grinned at the voice, “Talia.” He turned towards her, “What a surprise... Have you met Selina?”
Talia draped an arm around him while she addressed the other woman, “No, I have not had the pleasure.”
“Neither have I,” Bruce winked. He was feeling so unlike himself.
The bald man consorting with dastardly looking people got up from his table then and Bruce’s priorities changed quickly; he had to go to work and find out what Luthor was up to, “Please, excuse me ladies. Maybe the three of us can get together another time.”
Talia watched him go with a sigh and Selina followed the priceless jewels worn by a couple just entering the lavish fundraiser.
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Bruce Wayne is dating Talia when he bumps into Selina Kyle. There is a catfight and a vat full of jello involved, with ninjas. Fortunately, Lex Luthor accidentally saves the day with his flying robot llamas.
Because I can do that, but I'm not quite sure what the angle is, here (though, no, wait, I've already skipped to the jello vat, again).
Otherwise, I dare you to write cat/bat rooftop fightsex as a limerick. Or Haiku.
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circling each other
Kevlar, nomex quickly gone
Alfred's cookies next
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