[Yama fic] Forbidden Love (Part 22)
Title: Forbidden Love
Pairing: Yama (Ohno x Sho)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, antiquity, angst, romance, friendship
Disclaimer: Purely fictional, for entertainment only
Summary: Prince Satoshi and Sho both struggled to deal with Satoshi's upcoming wedding. In the meantime, Prince Masaki was being sent away by the king.
Part 22
Satoshi
Life goes on as usual, other than being more careful to what was said and done than ever before. I couldn’t get my guard down, even for a tiny bit. I know he is no better than I am. But the situations are becoming more intense by the day. Now I don’t even have the energy to pretend in front of him. Shiori is a nice girl. I know she would be a good wife. But, many things are predestined. This marriage was predestined to fail. None of us would be happy from it. Mother, of course, was happy about the marriage appointment. She saw it as a sign of increasing the chance that Father would choose me to succeed the throne. But I didn’t think so.
I monitored Jun’s movements closely. Although I didn’t think he dared to use force
People said happy times go by fast, torturous times go by slow. But I don’t think it’s like that. The more I didn’t want that day to come, the sooner it seemed to be approaching. And his pretending as if nothing happened was suffocating me.
"Sho - " Through the mirror, I saw him standing behind me. His eyes showed indelible sorrow, which no doubt was caused by looking at me trying on the formal attire for my big day.
"It seems a little loose on the waist." He said in a somewhat coarse voice while walking towards me. He stuck his chest close to my back and grabbed my robe on the waist, like he was seriously checking my fittings. "You lost some weights again recently. They took the measurements too early, and now it doesn’t fit you. I will ask them to alter it."
"Sho - please - don’t be like that!" I turned around to be face to face with him. "I can’t take it anymore - " I buried my head in his collar bone, begging him.
"Satoshi, you have to be able to take it! Do you know that?" He suddenly grabbed my shoulders with force and looked at me eagerly. "Unless you are prepared to give up everything, unless you are prepared to run away with me, otherwise you cannot become weak! What were you like before knowing me?" He questioned me. "I won’t allow you to become weak because of me, no matter if I would get hurt or not! Satoshi, you know very well that if you become weak now, you will lose, fail, perished! You can’t have worries or hesitations. Seeing you like that would make me fall apart too! Do you know that?! Do you?!"
He shook me forcefully, making me somewhat dizzy. The situation had become so imminent. My hesitations seemed to be more torturous to him. Even though we knew clearly that we couldn’t have doubts and gave up, but still we let glimpses of hope broke through like sprouting seeds. The coming days would only be ridges after ridges. We would never have true happiness. Finally he stopped shaking and pulled me into his arms.
"I’m sorry - I’m so sorry, I must be out of my mind." He said softly. "Satoshi, don’t mind me. Please don’t languish anymore. My heart will ache. Think about I have to move out of your palace soon before your wedding, please don’t let me leave with concerns." He kissed my ears gingerly. "But, Satoshi, I still have one request." He suddenly said.
"H'm?" My thoughts are still somewhat blurred, and was stunned by his bratty tone.
"If, someday, you realize that - you have fallen in love with her, or -- you want to have children - " His arms around me, expressing some loneliness. "You must tell me first. I don’t want to hear it from someone else, or be the last one to know - "
I know he is scared. I am too. I want to promise him it won’t happen, but I can’t. I know he wouldn’t want me to make a promise that I couldn’t guarantee I can keep either. But it still kills me to see him like that. All I could do is nodded, with a soft kiss on his cheek.
Sho
Sometimes I wonder if I would go crazy on his wedding day. He could keep busy with his work or Prince Jun to numb himself. But I could only keep telling myself to be patient. I don’t blame him, not even a bit. Seeing him losing weight day by day, smiling less and less but frowning more and more, I blame myself! Why do we have to live so miserable? For what? Why don’t I have the courage to drag him out of this suffocating prison? I am so useless. The most I could do is to catch up with his footsteps and didn’t get left behind.
"What are you thinking about?" A somewhat unfamiliar voice interrupted my thoughts. I turned around and saw that it was Prince Masaki. I was about to stand up but he put his hand on my shoulder signaling me not to. "No mind the formality. There’s nobody else here." He then sat down beside me and smiled. "Although we don’t know each other very well, but we are no strangers either. I came over today to spend some time with Nii-san. I probably won’t have much time to say goodbye tomorrow."
"Say goodbye?! Your Highness is leaving tomorrow already?!" I looked at him in shock. "There’s no pressing danger at the border. Why leaving so suddenly?"
Prince Masaki just smiled, as if my question was a bit silly. Then I realized it indeed was silly. What other reason could make him leave in such a hurry other than the king’s command?!
"Nii-san had been protecting you all these time. One reason is because he loves you. Another reason is because you’re so pure, even after going through so much, you’re still not a calculating type of person." He said it so casually, but listening to it struck me. I’ve never heard Prince Masaki talking about me and Satoshi directly. Apparently he had known for a long time!
"Sakurai Sho, I don’t talk fake with you. I only want you to remember what I said today. Nii-san, is actually the softest person among us. He seems to be so carefree, but actually he cares too much about everything. Other people may not understand him, but the few of us that are close to him know very well what his weaknesses are. And who knows if someone would hurt him in the future. You spend the most time with him, and you’re the one he cares about the most. If the time comes that he needs to be heartless, you need to decide for him!" Prince Masaki became more and more solemn as he continued. I looked at him carefully, trying to make out what he really wants.
"If you’re not heartless enough, you can’t be king. If it’s really necessary, take him away from the palace, even if you have to drag him out! There’s nothing more important than your life!" He paused for a second, looking a little sad. Then he quickly changed his expressions and showed a smile. "Enough of that! Come, let’s go. Even if we don’t know each other very well, I’ll still fuddle you today!" Then, he pulled me up from the bench and laughingly dragged me towards Satoshi’s room, as if he had never said what he said before.
It was four of us at the dinner table. Besides Satoshi and me, there’s Nino and Prince Masaki. I don’t know if this was considered a farewell dinner for Prince Masaki or the bachelor party for Satoshi. Regardless, among the thousands of people in the palace, these four people are probably the only ones who will be honest and truthful with each other.
"Nii-san, I am younger than you and shouldn’t be telling you what to do. I know neither you nor I like to take credits. Coming to this is just uncontrollable realities. But honestly, he is still more heartless than you are. If you can let go, that would be best. If you can’t, then when the battle between you two starts, I can only guarantee not to take either side." Prince Masaki held up a cup of wine and emptied it.
"Masaki, your kind intention will be forever appreciated." Satoshi also held up his wine cup. "Unfortunately, as you said we are under uncontrollable realities, let go or not is not up to me to decide. You’re leaving soon but I don’t think I will be able to see you off. I will penalize myself with three cups of wine!"
I saw Satoshi emptying two cups already. I couldn’t help but start worrying about his stomach. So when he was about to drink the third cup, I grabbed the cup from his hand and emptied it immediately. The other three didn’t get mad at me, just smiled and shook their heads.
To be continued.....
Previous | Index | Next
Pairing: Yama (Ohno x Sho)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: AU, antiquity, angst, romance, friendship
Disclaimer: Purely fictional, for entertainment only
Summary: Prince Satoshi and Sho both struggled to deal with Satoshi's upcoming wedding. In the meantime, Prince Masaki was being sent away by the king.
Part 22
Satoshi
Life goes on as usual, other than being more careful to what was said and done than ever before. I couldn’t get my guard down, even for a tiny bit. I know he is no better than I am. But the situations are becoming more intense by the day. Now I don’t even have the energy to pretend in front of him. Shiori is a nice girl. I know she would be a good wife. But, many things are predestined. This marriage was predestined to fail. None of us would be happy from it. Mother, of course, was happy about the marriage appointment. She saw it as a sign of increasing the chance that Father would choose me to succeed the throne. But I didn’t think so.
I monitored Jun’s movements closely. Although I didn’t think he dared to use force
People said happy times go by fast, torturous times go by slow. But I don’t think it’s like that. The more I didn’t want that day to come, the sooner it seemed to be approaching. And his pretending as if nothing happened was suffocating me.
"Sho - " Through the mirror, I saw him standing behind me. His eyes showed indelible sorrow, which no doubt was caused by looking at me trying on the formal attire for my big day.
"It seems a little loose on the waist." He said in a somewhat coarse voice while walking towards me. He stuck his chest close to my back and grabbed my robe on the waist, like he was seriously checking my fittings. "You lost some weights again recently. They took the measurements too early, and now it doesn’t fit you. I will ask them to alter it."
"Sho - please - don’t be like that!" I turned around to be face to face with him. "I can’t take it anymore - " I buried my head in his collar bone, begging him.
"Satoshi, you have to be able to take it! Do you know that?" He suddenly grabbed my shoulders with force and looked at me eagerly. "Unless you are prepared to give up everything, unless you are prepared to run away with me, otherwise you cannot become weak! What were you like before knowing me?" He questioned me. "I won’t allow you to become weak because of me, no matter if I would get hurt or not! Satoshi, you know very well that if you become weak now, you will lose, fail, perished! You can’t have worries or hesitations. Seeing you like that would make me fall apart too! Do you know that?! Do you?!"
He shook me forcefully, making me somewhat dizzy. The situation had become so imminent. My hesitations seemed to be more torturous to him. Even though we knew clearly that we couldn’t have doubts and gave up, but still we let glimpses of hope broke through like sprouting seeds. The coming days would only be ridges after ridges. We would never have true happiness. Finally he stopped shaking and pulled me into his arms.
"I’m sorry - I’m so sorry, I must be out of my mind." He said softly. "Satoshi, don’t mind me. Please don’t languish anymore. My heart will ache. Think about I have to move out of your palace soon before your wedding, please don’t let me leave with concerns." He kissed my ears gingerly. "But, Satoshi, I still have one request." He suddenly said.
"H'm?" My thoughts are still somewhat blurred, and was stunned by his bratty tone.
"If, someday, you realize that - you have fallen in love with her, or -- you want to have children - " His arms around me, expressing some loneliness. "You must tell me first. I don’t want to hear it from someone else, or be the last one to know - "
I know he is scared. I am too. I want to promise him it won’t happen, but I can’t. I know he wouldn’t want me to make a promise that I couldn’t guarantee I can keep either. But it still kills me to see him like that. All I could do is nodded, with a soft kiss on his cheek.
Sho
Sometimes I wonder if I would go crazy on his wedding day. He could keep busy with his work or Prince Jun to numb himself. But I could only keep telling myself to be patient. I don’t blame him, not even a bit. Seeing him losing weight day by day, smiling less and less but frowning more and more, I blame myself! Why do we have to live so miserable? For what? Why don’t I have the courage to drag him out of this suffocating prison? I am so useless. The most I could do is to catch up with his footsteps and didn’t get left behind.
"What are you thinking about?" A somewhat unfamiliar voice interrupted my thoughts. I turned around and saw that it was Prince Masaki. I was about to stand up but he put his hand on my shoulder signaling me not to. "No mind the formality. There’s nobody else here." He then sat down beside me and smiled. "Although we don’t know each other very well, but we are no strangers either. I came over today to spend some time with Nii-san. I probably won’t have much time to say goodbye tomorrow."
"Say goodbye?! Your Highness is leaving tomorrow already?!" I looked at him in shock. "There’s no pressing danger at the border. Why leaving so suddenly?"
Prince Masaki just smiled, as if my question was a bit silly. Then I realized it indeed was silly. What other reason could make him leave in such a hurry other than the king’s command?!
"Nii-san had been protecting you all these time. One reason is because he loves you. Another reason is because you’re so pure, even after going through so much, you’re still not a calculating type of person." He said it so casually, but listening to it struck me. I’ve never heard Prince Masaki talking about me and Satoshi directly. Apparently he had known for a long time!
"Sakurai Sho, I don’t talk fake with you. I only want you to remember what I said today. Nii-san, is actually the softest person among us. He seems to be so carefree, but actually he cares too much about everything. Other people may not understand him, but the few of us that are close to him know very well what his weaknesses are. And who knows if someone would hurt him in the future. You spend the most time with him, and you’re the one he cares about the most. If the time comes that he needs to be heartless, you need to decide for him!" Prince Masaki became more and more solemn as he continued. I looked at him carefully, trying to make out what he really wants.
"If you’re not heartless enough, you can’t be king. If it’s really necessary, take him away from the palace, even if you have to drag him out! There’s nothing more important than your life!" He paused for a second, looking a little sad. Then he quickly changed his expressions and showed a smile. "Enough of that! Come, let’s go. Even if we don’t know each other very well, I’ll still fuddle you today!" Then, he pulled me up from the bench and laughingly dragged me towards Satoshi’s room, as if he had never said what he said before.
It was four of us at the dinner table. Besides Satoshi and me, there’s Nino and Prince Masaki. I don’t know if this was considered a farewell dinner for Prince Masaki or the bachelor party for Satoshi. Regardless, among the thousands of people in the palace, these four people are probably the only ones who will be honest and truthful with each other.
"Nii-san, I am younger than you and shouldn’t be telling you what to do. I know neither you nor I like to take credits. Coming to this is just uncontrollable realities. But honestly, he is still more heartless than you are. If you can let go, that would be best. If you can’t, then when the battle between you two starts, I can only guarantee not to take either side." Prince Masaki held up a cup of wine and emptied it.
"Masaki, your kind intention will be forever appreciated." Satoshi also held up his wine cup. "Unfortunately, as you said we are under uncontrollable realities, let go or not is not up to me to decide. You’re leaving soon but I don’t think I will be able to see you off. I will penalize myself with three cups of wine!"
I saw Satoshi emptying two cups already. I couldn’t help but start worrying about his stomach. So when he was about to drink the third cup, I grabbed the cup from his hand and emptied it immediately. The other three didn’t get mad at me, just smiled and shook their heads.
To be continued.....
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