Why do I miss him so fucking much
So I miss Will a lot. I saw in my last post, I said meh, it is what it is, I guess we just didn't work out. But I guess self-reflecting is a bitch, because I realize that in a lot of ways, I was in the wrong.
I thought hemorrhoids were an STD. I didn't realize they're just fucking painful swollen veins (https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hemorrhoids/symptoms-causes/syc-20360268). So when Will had told me he had hemorrhoids that one time, and I went on to fuck him, that made it so much worse for him. I thought he was complaining because I had a bigger dick than he was used to. Nope, it was actual physical pain. The reason I know this now is because I have hemorrhoids, and they are not fucking pleasant. So we didn't have sex since that time, almost a fucking year ago. I didn't make any moves towards him, because I thought he didn't want it, and he didn't make any towards me because... I have no clue. So I guess in some ways, this break up was his fault too.
I just wrote him an overly long email, even though I had talked to Ronni & we both agreed I needed to cool it. Whatever, I'm done writing now. I think I'm gonna play one more round of Teamfight Tactics & then sleep. Fuck showering.