You are my Voice - Reita x Ruki - 02/xx
Title: You are my voice
Chapters: 02/xx
Author:
kiyoshiyuu
Genre: AU, fluff, eventually angsty
Warnings: muteness, manxman love, bad english
Rating: PG-13 to be sure
Pairings/Characters: ReitaxRuki
Disclaimer: the GazettE belong to themselves only. My imagination is mine though.
Synopsis: “Anyway, when something bad happens, something great must come along, right ? In my case it was just like this. It was like I was floating in a perfect dream, I still haven’t fully realised what really had happened.”
Comments: This is completely AU. Many things are totally made up or only half true, but after all this is fiction :D
chapter 01 | chapter 02 | chapter 03 | chapter 04 | chapter 05
chapter 06 | chapter 07
For the next seven days Ruki waited desperately for Reita to add him back. Since he had lost his former job he was sitting at home most of the time. His computer was running day and night. He also waited day and night in front of the screen to overview his messenger so that he wouldn't miss when Reita added him. He started waiting on Monday, now it was Sunday late in the afternoon and there was still no sign of Reita. He began to slowly lose all his hopes and started to think that he was given a wrong address or something.
He felt so much. All his thoughts swirled around in his head, most of them didn’t make any sense at all. It also didn’t make sense that Reita, someone like Reita, would want to be friends with him. It didn’t make sense that he received his address. That he hoped for Reita to add him back didn’t make sense either.
With all these feelings built up inside of him he finally decided to write about it in his blog. This was where most of his life took place now that he couldn’t speak anymore. His blog was a collection of all his thoughts, feelings, experiences, likes, hates, fears, hopes and everything he could have thought of writing in there.
One theme that appeared in his diary more than once was certainly the man he was going to write about now. But this time he wouldn’t write about how he liked a new song, a new look or a video that recently appeared on the net. No, this time he could write about how he actually met him. He didn’t really know how to begin, though. He didn’t want it to sound like a boastful “Ha ! I’ve met him, you didn’t !” He hated it when people did just that.
Reluctantly he began to type.
“You know I had to go to the hospital last week. Well, and you also know that I’m officially mute now. (laugh),” Ruki thought the laugh to be rather bitter, “Anyways, when something bad happens, something great must come along, right ? In my case it was just like that. It was like I was floating in a perfect dream, I still haven’t fully realised what really had happened.”
Yes, it sounded rather cheesy, but Ruki was a romantic. Besides, he didn’t care.
“I’ve actually met him ! You know, him ! The man that changed my life when I began listening to his music,” here at the latest people who were reading his blog must have known whom he was talking about.
“He was there, at the hospital, and he was actually talking to me ! You know I would never ever have the courage to speak to him first. At that time I was actually glad that I couldn’t speak. That’s pretty ironic, isn’t it ... (bitter smile)
Anyway, I told him that I was a fan and he was so nice to me, smiling all the time. I hope he didn’t think I was too excited or something. However, it must have been fate that I’ve met him a second time the other day. (laugh)
He actually gave me ...”
While he was typing down he suddenly stopped in his tracks. Would it be okay to let other people know that he got his address ? Maybe they would plaster him with questions about Reita or even ask for the address. This might have been very bad, for him and for Reita. Didn’t Reita ask him to keep it a secret ?
Ruki deleted the half finished sentence again.
“The other day ...”, he thought, glancing at his messenger window again. He sighed heavily. Maybe it was too arrogant to write about it at all. He had a fear of seeming to be arrogant towards other people. He was just too shy to ramble about it all day long although he could have done just that. But he was too happy about it to not write a single word. There was still no sight of his idol, though.
He finished writing his entry and posted it. Right in the moment he clicked on the button another window appeared that confirmed that “Reita” had accepted his request to add him. Ruki almost fell off his chair and if he could he would have squealed just like a girl right now.
His worries were blown away at once. There he was. Reita really had added him back ! He tried to regain his senses, calming down, trying to be not overly excited. Should he write him now ? Or would it be too obtrusive to write him so quickly ? His hands were wet from nervousness. This was really something he couldn’t handle.
But Reita made it easy for him. A new window popped up. In black letters stood there: “Reita: Hello Ruki,” not more than those two words but it was as if a mountain’s weight was lifted from Ruki’s body.
“I’m sorry I didn’t got in touch sooner, I just had so much work to do,” Ruki really could have thought of that. He felt bad now for being so selfish. Of course Reita was a very busy man, being famous and all. He wasn’t sitting on his computer all day long like himself. Ruki really had to look for a new job, too. It was just difficult to find someone who would let him work as he thought that being mute isn’t the best qualification to find an employment.
Very nervously he began to type down an answer. He wanted to do everything right. Strangely enough he was even more nervous now than when he was actually facing Reita.
“Ruki: Hey there ! It’s okay. How are you?” He simply asked. Was this too nonchalant maybe ? Reita might think he was bored with him when he wrote like this. He dried his hands on his pants.
“Reita: Uhm, I’m fine ... A bit exhausted maybe. What about you ?” Ruki was at a loss. How should he answer ? The last thing he wanted was to scare Reita away. Maybe he ought to just tell him the truth, though.
“Ruki: I’m the happiest person in the world at the moment (laugh),” well, it wasn’t actually the truth since he was currently going through hell and heaven at the same time. “No, I should actually search for a new job,” oh god, he actually didn’t want to bore Reita with these trifling problems of his. He decided to stand up for a moment to catch his breath. He felt really bad for going all crazy about it like this.
When he looked back to the screen he saw “Reita” blinking as a sign that he had wrote again. Reita didn’t seem to be bored at all. In contrary, he was chatting easily with Ruki, didn’t seem to be tensed at all. After a while the talk also became lighter on Ruki’s side. It had been long ago that he could talk so openly to someone. It felt really nice.
“Reita: Excuse me if I seem forward but I’m just curious ... what were the results of your check the other day ?” Ruki was in raptures. Reita actually cared what the results of the check were ! He was smiling like a madman, his lips stretching from one side of his face to the other. His heart was beating so fast that he almost put a smiley after his message. He remembered just in time that this was actually a rather sad topic.
He explained to Reita how he actually lost his voice that at first he couldn’t talk properly anymore, people would have had troubles understanding him. About one year ago he had forgotten how to pronounce complete words. More and more words got lost until he couldn’t speak anymore at all. He could well have the thought of any word he wanted to speak out loud in his head, open his mouth but no sound would come out. He didn’t even know anymore how to scream. The only thing that came out was the air in his lungs and like air sounded his voice. Then they discovered the defect in his brain. His vocal chords were basically cut off of it completely. He had entirely lost the ability to speak.
He said that he was happy though that he could still write things down. It would have been terrible if there was no possibility for him to let other people know what he thought. He would have never admitted it, but not being able to speak anymore was the most severe stroke of fate he’d ever had to bear in his entire life. And he was afraid.
He really wanted to write that he was very glad he could talk to Reita like this now. But he couldn’t overcome his shyness as to write such a thing. Although, unconsciously, he was holding tightly to every piece of Reita’s presence he could get.
Reita didn’t know what impact he had on the smaller man. But whenever he was online in the following days he would talk to Ruki, making the other fighting to regain his old life. All the conversations made Ruki a bit stronger. He cherished every single one of them. He even dared texting Reita first eventually.
However, it was not only Ruki who profited from the chats. Reita found an honest listener in the other, someone he soon opened his mind to, someone he could trust. He knew that Ruki would never go around and boast with his acquaintance. Ruki was finally someone who was not 'in the business', someone whom, despite Ruki being a fan, he got to know as a ‘normal’ person.
He didn’t know why he trusted Ruki so much, though. At first he thought it was just pity for the poor man but after he got to know him better he was glad he had met him. For a fan it was a one-in-a-million chance to meet Reita, for Reita it was the same chance to meet someone he got along with well.
So both men were happy with the way things were.
--
A/N: Yay, next chap already ! I've already written some chapters ahead, but I will post them slowly as long as I can't write further XD" *is quite busy atm* >>
Thank you all so much for the comments on the first chapter !! Q____Q *was very happy*
And sorry for the general shortness of the chapters vOv" (I guess they're short oO)
I'm still trying to figure out how to make Ruki's and Reita's relationship as natural as possible ... after all it's anything but usual to get the email address of a famous person like that *lol*
Btw, you can imagine Ruki's blog just like a live journal with friends etc. ... I'll need this later XD
Chapters: 02/xx
Author:
kiyoshiyuu
Genre: AU, fluff, eventually angsty
Warnings: muteness, manxman love, bad english
Rating: PG-13 to be sure
Pairings/Characters: ReitaxRuki
Disclaimer: the GazettE belong to themselves only. My imagination is mine though.
Synopsis: “Anyway, when something bad happens, something great must come along, right ? In my case it was just like this. It was like I was floating in a perfect dream, I still haven’t fully realised what really had happened.”
Comments: This is completely AU. Many things are totally made up or only half true, but after all this is fiction :D
chapter 01 | chapter 02 | chapter 03 | chapter 04 | chapter 05
chapter 06 | chapter 07
For the next seven days Ruki waited desperately for Reita to add him back. Since he had lost his former job he was sitting at home most of the time. His computer was running day and night. He also waited day and night in front of the screen to overview his messenger so that he wouldn't miss when Reita added him. He started waiting on Monday, now it was Sunday late in the afternoon and there was still no sign of Reita. He began to slowly lose all his hopes and started to think that he was given a wrong address or something.
He felt so much. All his thoughts swirled around in his head, most of them didn’t make any sense at all. It also didn’t make sense that Reita, someone like Reita, would want to be friends with him. It didn’t make sense that he received his address. That he hoped for Reita to add him back didn’t make sense either.
With all these feelings built up inside of him he finally decided to write about it in his blog. This was where most of his life took place now that he couldn’t speak anymore. His blog was a collection of all his thoughts, feelings, experiences, likes, hates, fears, hopes and everything he could have thought of writing in there.
One theme that appeared in his diary more than once was certainly the man he was going to write about now. But this time he wouldn’t write about how he liked a new song, a new look or a video that recently appeared on the net. No, this time he could write about how he actually met him. He didn’t really know how to begin, though. He didn’t want it to sound like a boastful “Ha ! I’ve met him, you didn’t !” He hated it when people did just that.
Reluctantly he began to type.
“You know I had to go to the hospital last week. Well, and you also know that I’m officially mute now. (laugh),” Ruki thought the laugh to be rather bitter, “Anyways, when something bad happens, something great must come along, right ? In my case it was just like that. It was like I was floating in a perfect dream, I still haven’t fully realised what really had happened.”
Yes, it sounded rather cheesy, but Ruki was a romantic. Besides, he didn’t care.
“I’ve actually met him ! You know, him ! The man that changed my life when I began listening to his music,” here at the latest people who were reading his blog must have known whom he was talking about.
“He was there, at the hospital, and he was actually talking to me ! You know I would never ever have the courage to speak to him first. At that time I was actually glad that I couldn’t speak. That’s pretty ironic, isn’t it ... (bitter smile)
Anyway, I told him that I was a fan and he was so nice to me, smiling all the time. I hope he didn’t think I was too excited or something. However, it must have been fate that I’ve met him a second time the other day. (laugh)
He actually gave me ...”
While he was typing down he suddenly stopped in his tracks. Would it be okay to let other people know that he got his address ? Maybe they would plaster him with questions about Reita or even ask for the address. This might have been very bad, for him and for Reita. Didn’t Reita ask him to keep it a secret ?
Ruki deleted the half finished sentence again.
“The other day ...”, he thought, glancing at his messenger window again. He sighed heavily. Maybe it was too arrogant to write about it at all. He had a fear of seeming to be arrogant towards other people. He was just too shy to ramble about it all day long although he could have done just that. But he was too happy about it to not write a single word. There was still no sight of his idol, though.
He finished writing his entry and posted it. Right in the moment he clicked on the button another window appeared that confirmed that “Reita” had accepted his request to add him. Ruki almost fell off his chair and if he could he would have squealed just like a girl right now.
His worries were blown away at once. There he was. Reita really had added him back ! He tried to regain his senses, calming down, trying to be not overly excited. Should he write him now ? Or would it be too obtrusive to write him so quickly ? His hands were wet from nervousness. This was really something he couldn’t handle.
But Reita made it easy for him. A new window popped up. In black letters stood there: “Reita: Hello Ruki,” not more than those two words but it was as if a mountain’s weight was lifted from Ruki’s body.
“I’m sorry I didn’t got in touch sooner, I just had so much work to do,” Ruki really could have thought of that. He felt bad now for being so selfish. Of course Reita was a very busy man, being famous and all. He wasn’t sitting on his computer all day long like himself. Ruki really had to look for a new job, too. It was just difficult to find someone who would let him work as he thought that being mute isn’t the best qualification to find an employment.
Very nervously he began to type down an answer. He wanted to do everything right. Strangely enough he was even more nervous now than when he was actually facing Reita.
“Ruki: Hey there ! It’s okay. How are you?” He simply asked. Was this too nonchalant maybe ? Reita might think he was bored with him when he wrote like this. He dried his hands on his pants.
“Reita: Uhm, I’m fine ... A bit exhausted maybe. What about you ?” Ruki was at a loss. How should he answer ? The last thing he wanted was to scare Reita away. Maybe he ought to just tell him the truth, though.
“Ruki: I’m the happiest person in the world at the moment (laugh),” well, it wasn’t actually the truth since he was currently going through hell and heaven at the same time. “No, I should actually search for a new job,” oh god, he actually didn’t want to bore Reita with these trifling problems of his. He decided to stand up for a moment to catch his breath. He felt really bad for going all crazy about it like this.
When he looked back to the screen he saw “Reita” blinking as a sign that he had wrote again. Reita didn’t seem to be bored at all. In contrary, he was chatting easily with Ruki, didn’t seem to be tensed at all. After a while the talk also became lighter on Ruki’s side. It had been long ago that he could talk so openly to someone. It felt really nice.
“Reita: Excuse me if I seem forward but I’m just curious ... what were the results of your check the other day ?” Ruki was in raptures. Reita actually cared what the results of the check were ! He was smiling like a madman, his lips stretching from one side of his face to the other. His heart was beating so fast that he almost put a smiley after his message. He remembered just in time that this was actually a rather sad topic.
He explained to Reita how he actually lost his voice that at first he couldn’t talk properly anymore, people would have had troubles understanding him. About one year ago he had forgotten how to pronounce complete words. More and more words got lost until he couldn’t speak anymore at all. He could well have the thought of any word he wanted to speak out loud in his head, open his mouth but no sound would come out. He didn’t even know anymore how to scream. The only thing that came out was the air in his lungs and like air sounded his voice. Then they discovered the defect in his brain. His vocal chords were basically cut off of it completely. He had entirely lost the ability to speak.
He said that he was happy though that he could still write things down. It would have been terrible if there was no possibility for him to let other people know what he thought. He would have never admitted it, but not being able to speak anymore was the most severe stroke of fate he’d ever had to bear in his entire life. And he was afraid.
He really wanted to write that he was very glad he could talk to Reita like this now. But he couldn’t overcome his shyness as to write such a thing. Although, unconsciously, he was holding tightly to every piece of Reita’s presence he could get.
Reita didn’t know what impact he had on the smaller man. But whenever he was online in the following days he would talk to Ruki, making the other fighting to regain his old life. All the conversations made Ruki a bit stronger. He cherished every single one of them. He even dared texting Reita first eventually.
However, it was not only Ruki who profited from the chats. Reita found an honest listener in the other, someone he soon opened his mind to, someone he could trust. He knew that Ruki would never go around and boast with his acquaintance. Ruki was finally someone who was not 'in the business', someone whom, despite Ruki being a fan, he got to know as a ‘normal’ person.
He didn’t know why he trusted Ruki so much, though. At first he thought it was just pity for the poor man but after he got to know him better he was glad he had met him. For a fan it was a one-in-a-million chance to meet Reita, for Reita it was the same chance to meet someone he got along with well.
So both men were happy with the way things were.
--
A/N: Yay, next chap already ! I've already written some chapters ahead, but I will post them slowly as long as I can't write further XD" *is quite busy atm* >>
Thank you all so much for the comments on the first chapter !! Q____Q *was very happy*
And sorry for the general shortness of the chapters vOv" (I guess they're short oO)
I'm still trying to figure out how to make Ruki's and Reita's relationship as natural as possible ... after all it's anything but usual to get the email address of a famous person like that *lol*
Btw, you can imagine Ruki's blog just like a live journal with friends etc. ... I'll need this later XD