BRRR
Ah, hell.
According to Dante*, in his little voyage through the underworld(s), hell is a varied and layered place with interesting landscapes and many regions. You can also find some interesting people there - Ulysses, some bad Popes, Ptolemy, Saladin, Judas and Satan himself. Satan resides in the 9th layer, the one reserved for traitors and betrayers, where it's absolutely frigid and people are frozen in ice. The place is kept nice and frosty by the wind created by the flapping of Satan's wings, which seem to produce a nice, freezing breeze.
Bearing this in mind, you might agree with me when I say it is cold as hell out there. The icy, freezing breeze is clearly the same one created by Satan's flapping wings and you'll notice there's also NO SNOW IN HELL, just ice. I was really looking forward to waking up to a white, wintery landscape but instead it's just COLD AS HELL.
Right. Remove brain from medieval literature and bung it back into 18th century satire. Nearly 1,500 words done. Of course, once I finish this essay I must take brain and plonk it back into the Middle Ages to write another essay. One day I'll learn to not leave my essays 'til the last moment...
*Also, even if you don't believe Mr Aligheri's descriptions of hell, one could argue that HELL JUST FROZE OVER. Why? France has just introduced a smoking ban. I'm disappointed; now I'll never be able to have a fag and coffee whilst contemplating the meaninglessness of existence in the Café du Flores, a la Sartre. On second thoughts, that sounds so pretentious and silly I've probably been done a favour.
According to Dante*, in his little voyage through the underworld(s), hell is a varied and layered place with interesting landscapes and many regions. You can also find some interesting people there - Ulysses, some bad Popes, Ptolemy, Saladin, Judas and Satan himself. Satan resides in the 9th layer, the one reserved for traitors and betrayers, where it's absolutely frigid and people are frozen in ice. The place is kept nice and frosty by the wind created by the flapping of Satan's wings, which seem to produce a nice, freezing breeze.
Bearing this in mind, you might agree with me when I say it is cold as hell out there. The icy, freezing breeze is clearly the same one created by Satan's flapping wings and you'll notice there's also NO SNOW IN HELL, just ice. I was really looking forward to waking up to a white, wintery landscape but instead it's just COLD AS HELL.
Right. Remove brain from medieval literature and bung it back into 18th century satire. Nearly 1,500 words done. Of course, once I finish this essay I must take brain and plonk it back into the Middle Ages to write another essay. One day I'll learn to not leave my essays 'til the last moment...
*Also, even if you don't believe Mr Aligheri's descriptions of hell, one could argue that HELL JUST FROZE OVER. Why? France has just introduced a smoking ban. I'm disappointed; now I'll never be able to have a fag and coffee whilst contemplating the meaninglessness of existence in the Café du Flores, a la Sartre. On second thoughts, that sounds so pretentious and silly I've probably been done a favour.