she was playing cinderella/ riding her first bike

[kiwistrawberry7]

don't ask why, because i don't even know. i've just been feeling down lately. maybe it's because i feel like i have no support from anyone but livia and chris. i just feel so alone, and i don't know why. i know chris is there for me, and liv and my mom... but i feel like everyone else is just... i don't know... trying to ignore me. my dad not so much, but my sister and my best friends definetly. charlotte hardly talks to me anymore, kat doesn't talk to me... i haven't heard from chelsea at all since i've been home... kev hasn't talked to me... alex is always playing video games... the only people that really talk to me besides chris are his parents, my parents, and livia. i mean, i have a few friends here, but not people i thought were my "best" friends. i just hate the fact that i'm getting so seperated from the people i thought were so close to me in high school. they have no idea how much i miss them.

i just don't want to be so depressed anymore. i hate it. and i know chris hates seeing me like this. maybe once everyone meets him, then i'll feel better. i'm going home in july, so they'll be meeting him then. i just want to know that the people back home support me. not just my family, but my friends too. i miss them all so much, and i just feel so alienated. i call home and something's happened, and no one has told me. no one takes the initiative to call me, i'm always the one calling them. if they really missed me, then a phone works both ways.

maybe i should just stop now... i'm making myself feel worse.