I just want...
In the wake of getting over him (sometimes my ability to bounce back amazes even me, he's becoming something like a distant memory in my head) I'm feeling that ache in my skin again. The overwhelming need to be touched. The desire for skin to skin contact. There were so many times that I wondered about myself and my constant need for physical attention. Am I just a slut of some sort? Am I too needy? Whats wrong with me?
As I come into myself more and more each day, I realize that maybe that's not the case. To me it isn't just being some kind of attention whore, not just about wanting to get laid or anything like that. The way I write, the way I speak, the way I carry myself daily always has a constant undercurrent of rawness, of emotion, a certain level of intensity. Its in everything I do. This is no different. In fact, the amount of emotional upheaval that I feel constantly is best relieved through physical contact. That rush, the intensity, the climax... It touches a place in me that I still cant properly explain. I dont know how to speak that. So in times of high stress I start to feel this gnawing that grows and grows until it feels like I'm going to explode, It aches and grows and my own hands are just not enough. I'm longing for that feeling that makes me catch my breath and arch my back. I need the rush of fingertips around my neck or my hips. Its starting to drive me crazy again and its at such an odd time...But thats always the case.
My eyes are crossing from exhaustion... time to dream....
As I come into myself more and more each day, I realize that maybe that's not the case. To me it isn't just being some kind of attention whore, not just about wanting to get laid or anything like that. The way I write, the way I speak, the way I carry myself daily always has a constant undercurrent of rawness, of emotion, a certain level of intensity. Its in everything I do. This is no different. In fact, the amount of emotional upheaval that I feel constantly is best relieved through physical contact. That rush, the intensity, the climax... It touches a place in me that I still cant properly explain. I dont know how to speak that. So in times of high stress I start to feel this gnawing that grows and grows until it feels like I'm going to explode, It aches and grows and my own hands are just not enough. I'm longing for that feeling that makes me catch my breath and arch my back. I need the rush of fingertips around my neck or my hips. Its starting to drive me crazy again and its at such an odd time...But thats always the case.
My eyes are crossing from exhaustion... time to dream....