Came over here to complain...
Feeling cranky this morning, so, just let me whine about a few things.
I have a circle of female friends who are sweet and loving and supportive for the most part. I suppose if I cried out for help that they would do their best to come to my aid. One of them sent out a group email a few months back, asking for each of us to pitch in for a spa day for one of the girls who just gave birth. For some reason, I felt a bit cranky about it, and decided not to participate. Thinking back to when I became a Mom, sure, a Stepmom, but, I really could have used the support of the group back then. It would have helped a ton if my friends had rallied around and sent love and support my way during that time. I didn't have the pregnancy hormones helping me to evolve into motherhood, I had an adversary, and a violent/loud/abusive one at that, in the Biomom. She had a large group of friends, people always around her, building her up, and I succumbed to my reclusive nature, stayed in to the point of agoraphobia, and my near constant companion was her son, who resented and disrespected me on the daily.
The last few years I spent living in New Orleans, were miserable ones. The thought of running into her made my stomach turn, I often resorted to fantasizing about beating her to a bloody pulp...while simultaneously trying to raise her son.
I wrote all about it here back then, and LJ was really my only place of comfort. My friends did not realise how bad off I was. Neither did I.
Now, on the other side of that ordeal, I feel cheated, I feel like I screwed up, and I am also resentful of the "Mommy Club", of which I am not a member.
Yes, it would have been nice to have had a spa day back when I was my most miserable.
I don't think that my friend who just gave birth needs a spa day. Her body helped her through the process, creating the tools she needed to grow a tiny human inside her, and even now, is likely using those tools to heal itself and aid the growth of the human it created.
My body was slammed with the news of its motherhood, and repeatedly abused, emotionally, by the events that followed. I still have shit I need to unpack in therapy. Where's my fucking spa day?
Okay, thanks, just needed to whine about it.
I have a circle of female friends who are sweet and loving and supportive for the most part. I suppose if I cried out for help that they would do their best to come to my aid. One of them sent out a group email a few months back, asking for each of us to pitch in for a spa day for one of the girls who just gave birth. For some reason, I felt a bit cranky about it, and decided not to participate. Thinking back to when I became a Mom, sure, a Stepmom, but, I really could have used the support of the group back then. It would have helped a ton if my friends had rallied around and sent love and support my way during that time. I didn't have the pregnancy hormones helping me to evolve into motherhood, I had an adversary, and a violent/loud/abusive one at that, in the Biomom. She had a large group of friends, people always around her, building her up, and I succumbed to my reclusive nature, stayed in to the point of agoraphobia, and my near constant companion was her son, who resented and disrespected me on the daily.
The last few years I spent living in New Orleans, were miserable ones. The thought of running into her made my stomach turn, I often resorted to fantasizing about beating her to a bloody pulp...while simultaneously trying to raise her son.
I wrote all about it here back then, and LJ was really my only place of comfort. My friends did not realise how bad off I was. Neither did I.
Now, on the other side of that ordeal, I feel cheated, I feel like I screwed up, and I am also resentful of the "Mommy Club", of which I am not a member.
Yes, it would have been nice to have had a spa day back when I was my most miserable.
I don't think that my friend who just gave birth needs a spa day. Her body helped her through the process, creating the tools she needed to grow a tiny human inside her, and even now, is likely using those tools to heal itself and aid the growth of the human it created.
My body was slammed with the news of its motherhood, and repeatedly abused, emotionally, by the events that followed. I still have shit I need to unpack in therapy. Where's my fucking spa day?
Okay, thanks, just needed to whine about it.