(no subject)
insomnia, with my cat drooling on my left hand. We rarely get this quiet time together, as my little dogs are always crawling on me and irritating Henry.
Ever since clinicals, I have been waking up around 3:30-4am at least three times a week. I get up and make coffee. I sit on the back steps in the dark. I watch forensic shows on cable. I think about school.
I guess I have stress. Mostly from school. Family life is my soft place, my good place. I love my house, my partner, my kid. My jobs don't stress me out, for once. When I managed the home care company from hell for 6 years, that job stress consumed me every hour of the day with school on top of all that. It's amazing I got through it, really. My 2 jobs now are an awesome addition to my school schedule.I love being an independent contractor and not punching a time clock, not being micro managed by some asshole person. Clinicals next semester are going to be brutal, so job love may go away during that time. I hear they are on Friday night from 2p-11p in OLYMPIA. Commuting from Olympia to Seattle in the dark on a night there are sure to be drunks on the road scares me. We'll be doing injections, and learning pharmacology. I'm excited about pharm.
I'm growing my hair out, which is a tedious process. My hair has been super short for five years,and growing out a 1 3/4 inch buzz cut is complicated. Right now, it resembles a short bob with bangs to my cheekbones. My bangs are growing out-another pain. I use a lot of head coverings/bandanas/scarves to compensate for the awkwardness of it all. My roots are red and the rest is black. Not liking that but Matt does. He always likes my hair when I don't, and vice versa.
We are installing a sky light in the northwest corner of the living room. It's almost complete.
We didn't have time to paint the house this summer, so that will have to wait until summer 2010.
Oh, something exciting: one of my photos I took in LA will be in a printed travel brochure for Los Angeles tourist attractions. No pay, but more exposure is nice! It will be published in October 2009.
Contemplating a short trip to Los Angeles at the end of December. Not to see my family, as in mom dad brother. My brother and I still haven't spoken (except for light facebook banter that is superficial and stupid) since my trip last December, when he got mad at me for spending time with my friends. He has learned the power of the guilt trip from my parents, hooray. My cousin Bri'Ana and I were talking last night about how absolutely messed up our blood relatives are. She doesn't speak or see her family either. They are all so toxic. My 18 years of living with it was long enough, thanks.
The only thing that does make me sad is my brother. He's my only sibling and there's only a 2 year difference. We only communicate via facebook comments. He's kind of morphed into my father: same mannerisms,vocabulary,judgement. All he writes about is finance and corporate meetings. He bikes for sport/competition, and he gets super pissed if things don't go his way. He just can't enjoy the moment...everything is a competition. Just like with my father. He calls his daughter "Princess", never by her real name, and treats her as such. She's spoiled rotten and acts like a queen bee. Theo and I cringe when we're around her. She's 11 and all she talks about is shopping, manicures,and celebrities.
So, when I go to LA, I only see my friends. And that way, I have great time with out all the family drama.
I think I'll have some more coffee and visit my steps again.
Ever since clinicals, I have been waking up around 3:30-4am at least three times a week. I get up and make coffee. I sit on the back steps in the dark. I watch forensic shows on cable. I think about school.
I guess I have stress. Mostly from school. Family life is my soft place, my good place. I love my house, my partner, my kid. My jobs don't stress me out, for once. When I managed the home care company from hell for 6 years, that job stress consumed me every hour of the day with school on top of all that. It's amazing I got through it, really. My 2 jobs now are an awesome addition to my school schedule.I love being an independent contractor and not punching a time clock, not being micro managed by some asshole person. Clinicals next semester are going to be brutal, so job love may go away during that time. I hear they are on Friday night from 2p-11p in OLYMPIA. Commuting from Olympia to Seattle in the dark on a night there are sure to be drunks on the road scares me. We'll be doing injections, and learning pharmacology. I'm excited about pharm.
I'm growing my hair out, which is a tedious process. My hair has been super short for five years,and growing out a 1 3/4 inch buzz cut is complicated. Right now, it resembles a short bob with bangs to my cheekbones. My bangs are growing out-another pain. I use a lot of head coverings/bandanas/scarves to compensate for the awkwardness of it all. My roots are red and the rest is black. Not liking that but Matt does. He always likes my hair when I don't, and vice versa.
We are installing a sky light in the northwest corner of the living room. It's almost complete.
We didn't have time to paint the house this summer, so that will have to wait until summer 2010.
Oh, something exciting: one of my photos I took in LA will be in a printed travel brochure for Los Angeles tourist attractions. No pay, but more exposure is nice! It will be published in October 2009.
Contemplating a short trip to Los Angeles at the end of December. Not to see my family, as in mom dad brother. My brother and I still haven't spoken (except for light facebook banter that is superficial and stupid) since my trip last December, when he got mad at me for spending time with my friends. He has learned the power of the guilt trip from my parents, hooray. My cousin Bri'Ana and I were talking last night about how absolutely messed up our blood relatives are. She doesn't speak or see her family either. They are all so toxic. My 18 years of living with it was long enough, thanks.
The only thing that does make me sad is my brother. He's my only sibling and there's only a 2 year difference. We only communicate via facebook comments. He's kind of morphed into my father: same mannerisms,vocabulary,judgement. All he writes about is finance and corporate meetings. He bikes for sport/competition, and he gets super pissed if things don't go his way. He just can't enjoy the moment...everything is a competition. Just like with my father. He calls his daughter "Princess", never by her real name, and treats her as such. She's spoiled rotten and acts like a queen bee. Theo and I cringe when we're around her. She's 11 and all she talks about is shopping, manicures,and celebrities.
So, when I go to LA, I only see my friends. And that way, I have great time with out all the family drama.
I think I'll have some more coffee and visit my steps again.