Unsent
I got your message.
I can't. I'm sorry. Things just got too crazy at the end.
I did think of you last week. I wondered how you were and I wished we could talk again.
But I remembered how much it hurt and how crazy it made me. I remembered all the conversations with my counselor about realizing what is "best" for me. I remembered making the decision to walk away from it all, because I knew it would only take me down a road that I didn't want to go... filled with crying and cutting and angry back-and-forth LJ posts. I can't do that anymore. It doesn't help anyone.
When I made that decision, I thought I'd want nothing but silence forever. Silence has healed the anger. Now it is my maturity that tells me I'm not ready for more, yet.
I'm not angry. At all. I hope all is well with you too.
I just can't, yet. I'm sorry.
-Me
I can't. I'm sorry. Things just got too crazy at the end.
I did think of you last week. I wondered how you were and I wished we could talk again.
But I remembered how much it hurt and how crazy it made me. I remembered all the conversations with my counselor about realizing what is "best" for me. I remembered making the decision to walk away from it all, because I knew it would only take me down a road that I didn't want to go... filled with crying and cutting and angry back-and-forth LJ posts. I can't do that anymore. It doesn't help anyone.
When I made that decision, I thought I'd want nothing but silence forever. Silence has healed the anger. Now it is my maturity that tells me I'm not ready for more, yet.
I'm not angry. At all. I hope all is well with you too.
I just can't, yet. I'm sorry.
-Me