Body Image
What could be bothering me that is causing these bad body thoughts?
I suppose to start, the thoughts are mostly concerning not being good enough. Just generally not eating right, not pretty enough, not thin enough, out of shape. My gut is telling me that the thing that bothers me the most right now is the decision to not have children. I think I am a little jealous of BFF for having a baby. Not only because I am kind of losing her to the baby, but also because I feel like I should be having a baby of my own. My thinking is correct on all the reasons I don't want children now, but when BFF said she couldn't believe she ever felt that way, I felt a pang. I guess it was a pang of yearning. I want that feeling. I don't know if I want a child. I know I don't want one now. I kind of feel like I'll never be what I want to be if I am never a mother.
Wow, that's revealing.
To explore - the feeling that I want is a feeling of completeness. What makes me think a baby would make me complete? It most definitely would not. Babies don't solve problems. I know this logically. I also know I sound like I am trying to talk myself out of it. Okay. I probably need to spend some time thinking this over. Whatever the verdict, we have some serious preparations to make before even considering having children.
You know what, kittyfajitas? BFF will have her baby soon enough and you will just play with Baby and visit with them a lot. That will both satisfy the maternal instinct and probably remind you why you don't want children in the first place.
Losing Venus probably is not helping. You sure haven't dealt with that AT ALL. Just worried about replacing her. How stupid can you get. I freaking MISS MY BABY GIRL. My sweet, sweet fat cat. Oh how I wish her last months and moments had not been so horrible. I'm just glad that we had that last night of mommy cuddles. Okay, I am crying now. So there's an issue that needs some help.
I suppose to start, the thoughts are mostly concerning not being good enough. Just generally not eating right, not pretty enough, not thin enough, out of shape. My gut is telling me that the thing that bothers me the most right now is the decision to not have children. I think I am a little jealous of BFF for having a baby. Not only because I am kind of losing her to the baby, but also because I feel like I should be having a baby of my own. My thinking is correct on all the reasons I don't want children now, but when BFF said she couldn't believe she ever felt that way, I felt a pang. I guess it was a pang of yearning. I want that feeling. I don't know if I want a child. I know I don't want one now. I kind of feel like I'll never be what I want to be if I am never a mother.
Wow, that's revealing.
To explore - the feeling that I want is a feeling of completeness. What makes me think a baby would make me complete? It most definitely would not. Babies don't solve problems. I know this logically. I also know I sound like I am trying to talk myself out of it. Okay. I probably need to spend some time thinking this over. Whatever the verdict, we have some serious preparations to make before even considering having children.
You know what, kittyfajitas? BFF will have her baby soon enough and you will just play with Baby and visit with them a lot. That will both satisfy the maternal instinct and probably remind you why you don't want children in the first place.
Losing Venus probably is not helping. You sure haven't dealt with that AT ALL. Just worried about replacing her. How stupid can you get. I freaking MISS MY BABY GIRL. My sweet, sweet fat cat. Oh how I wish her last months and moments had not been so horrible. I'm just glad that we had that last night of mommy cuddles. Okay, I am crying now. So there's an issue that needs some help.