Journaling
I've spent the last few months writing in my Moleskines instead of on this journal. I've been angsting like a motherfucker and I really couldn't see myself putting anything coherent on here that would be worth reading.
A lot has happened since I last posted. I've finished my summer courses (I got an A in Biology, B+ in my Digital Concepts 1 course), continued talking to Alexk, which later led to us hanging out again and having sex and becoming a couple. Classes have started again, and I'm impatient with school and my NEW digital concepts class. Illustration principles/concepts may be worthwhile, but who knows. It's too soon. Art History? It still sucks. I think I'll never have an Art History course I'll actually enjoy.
I've discovered I'm lactose intolerant. I got loads of scholarship money and am going to build a computer with some of the extra.
I've lost more weight, and I'm down to 138 and have stayed around that weight for months and months and I'm actually very pleased. I was that weight for Prom in 2008. I looked good. :)
I've been writing lots of lists. I no longer speak to Shealynn. I am making plenty of wonderful new friends in Towson who actually like me and accept my neurosis and don't act like the Queen of fucking Sheba.
I'm trying to draw more again, but writing seems to be what my mind wants to do more of. Hence the Moleskine.
I saw Scott Pilgrim vs The World (it's amazing), Despicable Me (hilarious) and Inception (trippy). I've been following True Blood (great), I bought loads of comic books and some novels. I didn't really go anywhere cool. That made me sad.
I had a huge drama with Alexk this last month. Kent gave me Herpes 1 and I 'fessed up to Alex about it. It became a thing, we really didn't touch as much as our equally horny selves would like, and we just found out that he's a benign carrier of the virus - he will never show symptoms but he could give it to other people. He made Typhoid Mary jokes. We're both clean of everything else ever. I made sure I was tested for everything, however unlikely (like Hepatitis A). I learned there are TWO HIV viruses. My mind was blown, because of the 2 HIV discovery, and because Alex is still with me. He says I'm one of the most important women in his life. Already. He says he trusts me. Already.
Sunday Night/Monday Morning my car was broken into outside of Alex's house, and my sister's GPS unit I was borrowing, my car chargers and my iPhone sync cord were stolen. Hilariously, my leather jacket, gameboy color and nintendo ds lite which were also in the car, were not taken. And those were in the open, easy to see. My electronic things? Hidden. I have no idea. Alex continues to be amazing and he vacuumed up the glass for me, called people to see if we could get an emergency window fix, and then he helped tape the damn thing up for me. The next day he tried to see if he could recoup the money lost by selling insurance to a mechanic/body shop who would do my window for me. That didn't happen, but he's still amazing for it.
I got into fights with my mother, daddy and I are improving our relationship, though we fought too. My sister and I are maybe getting to be friends. She hasn't been around enough for us to fight.
I met Alex's family on Monday. It was terrifying. They think I'm "very real", in that I know who I am and I am confident in that. I think that's hilarious. I often feel the opposite of confident a lot of the time. But I guess me knowing my mind and knowing my personal boundaries translates to confidence when I meet new people who I'm supposed to impress.
Today, my first assignment for any of my classes ever is due. I need to go and buy the stuff to mount it now, actually. (go team night classes!)
I don't know how frequently I'll be posting in this. I'm still an angst monster (I'm trying to figure out when I should introduce Alex to my family, and when I should tell him I love him - if I actually do love him, how are you supposed to know that!?) so I'm making lists and analyzing interactions and contemplating the differences between infatuation and actual love. I really don't want to fall into that unhealthy codependent trap that can form by saying "I love you" too soon, or break another heart when I realize it wasn't love, but a fucked up desire to never be alone. I don't want to make another mistake by trusting too soon and figuring it out too late.
But he's definitely special. How special is the question.
A lot has happened since I last posted. I've finished my summer courses (I got an A in Biology, B+ in my Digital Concepts 1 course), continued talking to Alexk, which later led to us hanging out again and having sex and becoming a couple. Classes have started again, and I'm impatient with school and my NEW digital concepts class. Illustration principles/concepts may be worthwhile, but who knows. It's too soon. Art History? It still sucks. I think I'll never have an Art History course I'll actually enjoy.
I've discovered I'm lactose intolerant. I got loads of scholarship money and am going to build a computer with some of the extra.
I've lost more weight, and I'm down to 138 and have stayed around that weight for months and months and I'm actually very pleased. I was that weight for Prom in 2008. I looked good. :)
I've been writing lots of lists. I no longer speak to Shealynn. I am making plenty of wonderful new friends in Towson who actually like me and accept my neurosis and don't act like the Queen of fucking Sheba.
I'm trying to draw more again, but writing seems to be what my mind wants to do more of. Hence the Moleskine.
I saw Scott Pilgrim vs The World (it's amazing), Despicable Me (hilarious) and Inception (trippy). I've been following True Blood (great), I bought loads of comic books and some novels. I didn't really go anywhere cool. That made me sad.
I had a huge drama with Alexk this last month. Kent gave me Herpes 1 and I 'fessed up to Alex about it. It became a thing, we really didn't touch as much as our equally horny selves would like, and we just found out that he's a benign carrier of the virus - he will never show symptoms but he could give it to other people. He made Typhoid Mary jokes. We're both clean of everything else ever. I made sure I was tested for everything, however unlikely (like Hepatitis A). I learned there are TWO HIV viruses. My mind was blown, because of the 2 HIV discovery, and because Alex is still with me. He says I'm one of the most important women in his life. Already. He says he trusts me. Already.
Sunday Night/Monday Morning my car was broken into outside of Alex's house, and my sister's GPS unit I was borrowing, my car chargers and my iPhone sync cord were stolen. Hilariously, my leather jacket, gameboy color and nintendo ds lite which were also in the car, were not taken. And those were in the open, easy to see. My electronic things? Hidden. I have no idea. Alex continues to be amazing and he vacuumed up the glass for me, called people to see if we could get an emergency window fix, and then he helped tape the damn thing up for me. The next day he tried to see if he could recoup the money lost by selling insurance to a mechanic/body shop who would do my window for me. That didn't happen, but he's still amazing for it.
I got into fights with my mother, daddy and I are improving our relationship, though we fought too. My sister and I are maybe getting to be friends. She hasn't been around enough for us to fight.
I met Alex's family on Monday. It was terrifying. They think I'm "very real", in that I know who I am and I am confident in that. I think that's hilarious. I often feel the opposite of confident a lot of the time. But I guess me knowing my mind and knowing my personal boundaries translates to confidence when I meet new people who I'm supposed to impress.
Today, my first assignment for any of my classes ever is due. I need to go and buy the stuff to mount it now, actually. (go team night classes!)
I don't know how frequently I'll be posting in this. I'm still an angst monster (I'm trying to figure out when I should introduce Alex to my family, and when I should tell him I love him - if I actually do love him, how are you supposed to know that!?) so I'm making lists and analyzing interactions and contemplating the differences between infatuation and actual love. I really don't want to fall into that unhealthy codependent trap that can form by saying "I love you" too soon, or break another heart when I realize it wasn't love, but a fucked up desire to never be alone. I don't want to make another mistake by trusting too soon and figuring it out too late.
But he's definitely special. How special is the question.