First NCIS fic
Hey I recently wrote and finished my first NCIS fic ever! I thought I'd post it here too!
Title: Moving forward
Summary: post 9.02. Tony's self-reflection leads to a change in his relationship with his boss.
Spoilers: 9.02 Restless
>
Tony looked outside of the car. The girl was very lucky to have such accepting and loving foster parents. Not everyone could have accepted that their foster child was actually a 27 year old woman who sincerely believed she was 17. He bet many people would simply categorize her as crazy and want nothing to do with her.
“Hey” Tony startled out of his thoughts at Gibbs’ voice. “You okay?”
“Yeah I….” Tony paused. Was he really okay? “Ha. You know what? To be entirely truthful with you boss…no I…I’m not really” he sighed. “ with everything that has happened recently I just…feel a little off balance”
Gibbs looked at his Senior Field Agent’s expression. It wasn’t a common thing to see Tony leave all the masks and let others see what was truly going on with him. Especially after the whole mole-chasing fiasco. Tony hadn’t been quite himself recently. He had been….what had Mcgee said? Moping. Right, he had been moping. He supposed part of it was being used in an op that would inevitably go wrong, plus there was EJ Barrett who was still missing. Sure, Tony and she weren’t together anymore but Gibbs knew Dinozzo had genuinely liked her, as loathe as he was to admit it. Somehow Tony’s feeling for Barrett had rubbed him the wrong way and not only because of rule 12 and the fact he hadn’t trusted her. No. It was something more. Something he wouldn’t admit to himself.
“You know boss, I feel a little crazy right now, with the whole Stinky John business. And let’s not forget the temporary amnesia after the op. It’s just…maybe I am cra…” the familiar sting of a headslap interrupted him.
“Thank you boss. Don’t know what I was saying there.” Gibbs gave him a nod that said ‘You better believe you’re not crazy!’
Before anything else could be said on the subject, Lindsey entered the car with her things.
“Alright. I’m…I’m as ready as I’ll be.” She said with a defeated tone. She knew what was coming. She was going to be committed for sure. Tony looked at her and took pity on the girl. “It’s just an evaluation Lindsey. Nothing more” a ‘for now’ was however heard by young woman.
“Yeah” she said, not totally convinced. At least, she knew that when she got out, she had a home to go to. It was more than she had hoped for.
The ride to the hospital went in silence. Once at the hospital, Lindsey started fidgeting. She was scared of what was to come. The doctor would soon see her and the anticipation was killing her.
“Hey” Tony said sitting down next to her. “It’s gonna be okay.”
Lindsey laughed nervously. “I think I’m seventeen when I’m 27, I think my parents beat me up when it was actually my uncle…and I’m about to meet a doctor who’ll take one look at me and say I’m crazy.”
Tony thought a second before answering that. “Well, then I guess you think I’m crazy.” Tony said. Lindsey stared at him with a confused frown. This man wasn’t crazy. “See Lindsey, I’m great federal agent who does his job well and though has some issues, was deemed as sane, functional and ready to go back to work by a very talented psychiatrist. Yet this week, when I went to apologize to a man who I sincerely believed I had tied to pole and hanged by his underwear, I discovered that he was the one who had done it to me. And even right now…” Tony paused. “Even right now, I can’t remember any of it. I only remember hanging him up. So see I don’t think you’re crazy. There’s something wrong with your memories but that’s what the doctor is there for. You may need help right now, but it doesn’t make you insane okay?”
Lindsey looked at him through teary eyes. “Okay.” She said, something getting caught in her throat. For the first time today, she believed she wasn’t condemned to being committed for the rest of her life. “And you have people that will be there every step of the way.” Tony said. Lindsey nodded then looked up at Tony and asked “Do you?” Tony looked back to where Gibbs was standing, bothering nurses about when the doctor would be ready, and smiled. “Yeah….Yeah I have someone.”
****************
“Hey” Tony said as he entered the living room. Gibbs gave him a nod and continued taking care of the steaks. Evidently, the older man had been expecting a visit from his Senior Field Agent tonight. “Cowboy steak, I love it” Gibbs smiled at the familiar sentence. They’d been there before….many times over. Gibbs took the plates and put the steaks on them while Tony made himself comfortable on the couch with a beer.
“I saw you with Lindsey at the hospital. Whatever you told her seemed to have calmed her down.”
“Yeah. I told her about the whole Stinky John business. I guess it made her feel less alone and less crazy”
“You’re not crazy Tony”
“Nah. I’m just delusional.” Gibbs looked at his friend.
“Tony! It’s one memory that you inversed. One. And a traumatic one at that. It’s a normal reaction to trauma. You know this. “ Tony looked thoughtful at that. “Hell, will I have to call Rachel again? ‘Cause she did a good job with that hard head of yours last time and didn’t see anything wrong!” Tony looked at his boss and gave him a smile. When the man talk, he always knew what to say to make things better. It was true; Rachel had evaluated him as requested by NCIS regulations and he passed it. He felt a little silly for being worried but he couldn’t help it. He just kept replaying all his memories from his childhood and boarding school years, trying to find another instance of this. But there wasn’t anything there. It must have been a one time thing because he found some memories he would have rather forgotten or modified.
“Better now?” Gibbs asked, putting his hand on Tony’s shoulder.
“Yeah. McGee still won’t let me live this down.”
“Yeah well, you wouldn’t either.”
“Very true” Gibbs gave him a smile and ruffled his hair. Tony looked at him with a serious expression. It had been happening for a while now. Little affectionate touches here and there….Gibbs and he had been friends for a while, collegues for longer, and things weren’t like this. Not quite. Gibbs had always cared but somehow this seemed….different. Tony had been in a introspective mood all day. He had thought about his past a lot and his relationship with Gibbs stood out. Tony put his beer on the table and dared to ask a question that had been bothering him for a while now.
“Gibbs. What’s the real reason you were pissed about EJ and me?”
Gibbs stiffened. “I thought I was pretty clear on that”
Tony scoffed. “You let me assume that it was because of Rule 12 and because you didn’t trust her but you didn’t actually say anything. As I recall, I did most of the talking. Come on Gibbs. Ten years. You owe me the truth.”
“There’s nothing to tell”
“Isn’t there?” Tony’s voice was hard. He meant serious business.
“ I didn’t say anything after the first time my dad came. I didn’t say anything the second time or any other times when I came here and things were different than before. But I think….after everything that has happened, EJ, Cade, today….I need it Gibbs. I need to set this straight. So I’m asking again what’s the real reason you were pissed about EJ and me?” It was little things really and the atmosphere around them that had changed. Evolved. Tony had let himself wonder before….allowed himself to want more and accepted it. But now, it didn’t seem enough.
Gibbs sighed and looked up at his friend. Maybe…maybe it was time. Deep down, he was tired of being alone too.
“I couldn’t stand it.”
“Couldn’t stand what?”
“Losing you”
Tony was surprised. He hadn’t expected that. “Gibbs, you never lost me.”
“Yeah? That why you didn’t show up at my house even once after she arrived. You always come to my house Tony. Almost every week, and all of a sudden…I’m kicked to the curb because of some…” Gibbs stopped himself right there. He could feel anger and resentment building and knew it wasn’t what he needed right now.
“Gibbs! I never meant for you to feel this way!”
“You knew” Gibbs accused. “You knew there was something more, something different between us now and still you went with her!” Tony was flabbergasted. Yeah. He had known something was different for him, but he hadn’t known it was the same for Gibbs!
“I knew? You think I knew? Gibbs, all I knew was that it was different for me. I didn’t know you felt the same way and I couldn’t risk it. EJ…EJ was safe. Fun.”
“Then why aren’t you with her?” Gibbs asked.
“Because….she filled a void but….she wasn’t you Gibbs. You…You’re the one who keeps me sane. I need you and I….holy crap I love you.” Tony couldn’t believe he had actually said that last thing. But it rang true to his ears. He loved Gibbs. As in big romantic love.
Gibbs grabbed Tony’s head gently and guided his lips to his own, pressing softly, asking for entrance so he could show Tony exactly what he felt for his agent. The kiss was slow yet demanding, tongues dancing together until both men needed to breathe.
“Okay. So where do we go from there?” Tony asked. Gibbs smiled and took his hand. “Forward, Tony. Forward.”
The End
Title: Moving forward
Summary: post 9.02. Tony's self-reflection leads to a change in his relationship with his boss.
Spoilers: 9.02 Restless
>
Tony looked outside of the car. The girl was very lucky to have such accepting and loving foster parents. Not everyone could have accepted that their foster child was actually a 27 year old woman who sincerely believed she was 17. He bet many people would simply categorize her as crazy and want nothing to do with her.
“Hey” Tony startled out of his thoughts at Gibbs’ voice. “You okay?”
“Yeah I….” Tony paused. Was he really okay? “Ha. You know what? To be entirely truthful with you boss…no I…I’m not really” he sighed. “ with everything that has happened recently I just…feel a little off balance”
Gibbs looked at his Senior Field Agent’s expression. It wasn’t a common thing to see Tony leave all the masks and let others see what was truly going on with him. Especially after the whole mole-chasing fiasco. Tony hadn’t been quite himself recently. He had been….what had Mcgee said? Moping. Right, he had been moping. He supposed part of it was being used in an op that would inevitably go wrong, plus there was EJ Barrett who was still missing. Sure, Tony and she weren’t together anymore but Gibbs knew Dinozzo had genuinely liked her, as loathe as he was to admit it. Somehow Tony’s feeling for Barrett had rubbed him the wrong way and not only because of rule 12 and the fact he hadn’t trusted her. No. It was something more. Something he wouldn’t admit to himself.
“You know boss, I feel a little crazy right now, with the whole Stinky John business. And let’s not forget the temporary amnesia after the op. It’s just…maybe I am cra…” the familiar sting of a headslap interrupted him.
“Thank you boss. Don’t know what I was saying there.” Gibbs gave him a nod that said ‘You better believe you’re not crazy!’
Before anything else could be said on the subject, Lindsey entered the car with her things.
“Alright. I’m…I’m as ready as I’ll be.” She said with a defeated tone. She knew what was coming. She was going to be committed for sure. Tony looked at her and took pity on the girl. “It’s just an evaluation Lindsey. Nothing more” a ‘for now’ was however heard by young woman.
“Yeah” she said, not totally convinced. At least, she knew that when she got out, she had a home to go to. It was more than she had hoped for.
The ride to the hospital went in silence. Once at the hospital, Lindsey started fidgeting. She was scared of what was to come. The doctor would soon see her and the anticipation was killing her.
“Hey” Tony said sitting down next to her. “It’s gonna be okay.”
Lindsey laughed nervously. “I think I’m seventeen when I’m 27, I think my parents beat me up when it was actually my uncle…and I’m about to meet a doctor who’ll take one look at me and say I’m crazy.”
Tony thought a second before answering that. “Well, then I guess you think I’m crazy.” Tony said. Lindsey stared at him with a confused frown. This man wasn’t crazy. “See Lindsey, I’m great federal agent who does his job well and though has some issues, was deemed as sane, functional and ready to go back to work by a very talented psychiatrist. Yet this week, when I went to apologize to a man who I sincerely believed I had tied to pole and hanged by his underwear, I discovered that he was the one who had done it to me. And even right now…” Tony paused. “Even right now, I can’t remember any of it. I only remember hanging him up. So see I don’t think you’re crazy. There’s something wrong with your memories but that’s what the doctor is there for. You may need help right now, but it doesn’t make you insane okay?”
Lindsey looked at him through teary eyes. “Okay.” She said, something getting caught in her throat. For the first time today, she believed she wasn’t condemned to being committed for the rest of her life. “And you have people that will be there every step of the way.” Tony said. Lindsey nodded then looked up at Tony and asked “Do you?” Tony looked back to where Gibbs was standing, bothering nurses about when the doctor would be ready, and smiled. “Yeah….Yeah I have someone.”
****************
“Hey” Tony said as he entered the living room. Gibbs gave him a nod and continued taking care of the steaks. Evidently, the older man had been expecting a visit from his Senior Field Agent tonight. “Cowboy steak, I love it” Gibbs smiled at the familiar sentence. They’d been there before….many times over. Gibbs took the plates and put the steaks on them while Tony made himself comfortable on the couch with a beer.
“I saw you with Lindsey at the hospital. Whatever you told her seemed to have calmed her down.”
“Yeah. I told her about the whole Stinky John business. I guess it made her feel less alone and less crazy”
“You’re not crazy Tony”
“Nah. I’m just delusional.” Gibbs looked at his friend.
“Tony! It’s one memory that you inversed. One. And a traumatic one at that. It’s a normal reaction to trauma. You know this. “ Tony looked thoughtful at that. “Hell, will I have to call Rachel again? ‘Cause she did a good job with that hard head of yours last time and didn’t see anything wrong!” Tony looked at his boss and gave him a smile. When the man talk, he always knew what to say to make things better. It was true; Rachel had evaluated him as requested by NCIS regulations and he passed it. He felt a little silly for being worried but he couldn’t help it. He just kept replaying all his memories from his childhood and boarding school years, trying to find another instance of this. But there wasn’t anything there. It must have been a one time thing because he found some memories he would have rather forgotten or modified.
“Better now?” Gibbs asked, putting his hand on Tony’s shoulder.
“Yeah. McGee still won’t let me live this down.”
“Yeah well, you wouldn’t either.”
“Very true” Gibbs gave him a smile and ruffled his hair. Tony looked at him with a serious expression. It had been happening for a while now. Little affectionate touches here and there….Gibbs and he had been friends for a while, collegues for longer, and things weren’t like this. Not quite. Gibbs had always cared but somehow this seemed….different. Tony had been in a introspective mood all day. He had thought about his past a lot and his relationship with Gibbs stood out. Tony put his beer on the table and dared to ask a question that had been bothering him for a while now.
“Gibbs. What’s the real reason you were pissed about EJ and me?”
Gibbs stiffened. “I thought I was pretty clear on that”
Tony scoffed. “You let me assume that it was because of Rule 12 and because you didn’t trust her but you didn’t actually say anything. As I recall, I did most of the talking. Come on Gibbs. Ten years. You owe me the truth.”
“There’s nothing to tell”
“Isn’t there?” Tony’s voice was hard. He meant serious business.
“ I didn’t say anything after the first time my dad came. I didn’t say anything the second time or any other times when I came here and things were different than before. But I think….after everything that has happened, EJ, Cade, today….I need it Gibbs. I need to set this straight. So I’m asking again what’s the real reason you were pissed about EJ and me?” It was little things really and the atmosphere around them that had changed. Evolved. Tony had let himself wonder before….allowed himself to want more and accepted it. But now, it didn’t seem enough.
Gibbs sighed and looked up at his friend. Maybe…maybe it was time. Deep down, he was tired of being alone too.
“I couldn’t stand it.”
“Couldn’t stand what?”
“Losing you”
Tony was surprised. He hadn’t expected that. “Gibbs, you never lost me.”
“Yeah? That why you didn’t show up at my house even once after she arrived. You always come to my house Tony. Almost every week, and all of a sudden…I’m kicked to the curb because of some…” Gibbs stopped himself right there. He could feel anger and resentment building and knew it wasn’t what he needed right now.
“Gibbs! I never meant for you to feel this way!”
“You knew” Gibbs accused. “You knew there was something more, something different between us now and still you went with her!” Tony was flabbergasted. Yeah. He had known something was different for him, but he hadn’t known it was the same for Gibbs!
“I knew? You think I knew? Gibbs, all I knew was that it was different for me. I didn’t know you felt the same way and I couldn’t risk it. EJ…EJ was safe. Fun.”
“Then why aren’t you with her?” Gibbs asked.
“Because….she filled a void but….she wasn’t you Gibbs. You…You’re the one who keeps me sane. I need you and I….holy crap I love you.” Tony couldn’t believe he had actually said that last thing. But it rang true to his ears. He loved Gibbs. As in big romantic love.
Gibbs grabbed Tony’s head gently and guided his lips to his own, pressing softly, asking for entrance so he could show Tony exactly what he felt for his agent. The kiss was slow yet demanding, tongues dancing together until both men needed to breathe.
“Okay. So where do we go from there?” Tony asked. Gibbs smiled and took his hand. “Forward, Tony. Forward.”
The End