If only the security was as tight as you ass
Title: How he knew
Rating: pg-13
Summary: How Ed discovers that Roy indeed does have a tight ass.
Comments: Ok, just somthign silly I wrote, because my Best girlfriend came in today with this halarious srory from the FMA 2 game, about commenting about the security and Roy's ass.
Deticated to:
demonangelwings and
sakura_genix
Roy stood looking at the sun setting through his window. He heard the whispers of his co-workers out side, but he couldn't pin what they where saying. A breeze rippled through his clothing and he smirked sending a fire ball down to the group of gossipers from his window, sending them scattering.
Ed quickly deflected the fireball heading to him and his friends, and looked towards the source. He stuck his middle finger up and went back to his chatting.
" See he is such an ass" Ed said to Hughes. Hughes shrugged. " Speaking of ass, my trainer earlier told me that his is very ass-conscience." a newer Alchemist stated.
" No way, Roy consience of anything is hard to believe" Ed said his eyes wide. " You know I heard that too" another commented and everyone nodded. Ed shook his head " impossible"
" You don't believe us, find out for yourself." Ed looked fearful for a minute, if they were right, Roy would surely tear him up, but if they where wrong, it would be all ok, the odds didn't seem worth it.
" How about we make it interesting" Hughes piped in. He stuck his hand deep and his pocket and produced a handful of yen. " everyone pitch in" everyone followed his lead. " Now, Edward, you are two discover who is right and who is wrong, just for doing that you get half of the pool, the other half gets devided between the winners. Agreed" Everyone looked at the huge lumpsome of money they all produced and nodded.
" Now, here's the plan" They all bent there heads and whispered together. Ed's eyes widened " NO WAY, I AM NOT DOING THAT" He popped up and began to stomp away. Hughes was infront of him before he got two steps. " Get back in the huddle" Hughes eyes looked like they where ignited with fire, Ed obeyed. There where various shreaks of " Oh My Gods"sand "EW"s and a continuious flow of laughter. The group released themselves and headed home for the night, tomorrow promised to be rewarding. After everyone had retired, Ed went up to Roy's office. He stood out side the door.
" You can do this" he said to himself " It's not that bad, you've fought worse monsters than this" He leaned and arm against the door. " I can't do this" Before he had a chance to walk away, the door opened sending him crashing to the floor.
"Is there somthing you need" Roy sneered.
" Well- I- I was wondering if we could talk." Ed said trying to sound innocent. Roy glared at him for a moment before going to sit behind his desk. Ed took that as good and sat in his normal seat.
" Well you see it's like this. I was sitting at the tables when some one passed by and touched my Butt and then I stood and it happened again, sending my tray flying into some one elses butt. Knocking them over, but they where caught by some one else..." the story continued, every time he said anything to do with the rear end, or sounding like it could, he put emphasis on it. Roy stood up and walked over to the window again. " Why are you wasting my time with this story" he asked interupting Ed's butt story.
" Well you see" Ed got up silently from his chair. " It's like this" He inched closer and closer to Roy, he held his breath while doing this. " I-well" he got to be directly behind him, and he took one slow breath and did it. Ed grabbed Roy's ass for all it was worth, then bolted. Screams of fury rattled the walls. The next day Ed and his comrades could be found hiding out at Hughes place.
"So?" they probed.
" It was so clenched! He had it so tight it was like he was trying to clench into his back, to make it go away." Ed said, his voice barely above a whisper, dispite the fact they were in a well locked room. Half of the pool was handed over to Ed.
" We always knew he was a tight-ass" someone said. " but this brings a whole new meaning" They all nodded in agreement