It's Amazing What You Get
I was thinking about marriage at this moment. Sometimes my mind babbles while I try to study, so I have to type it in order to get it out of my mind. As it goes, I was thinking. Sometimes people believe marriage is a solution to his or her problems. In the end for me, I had only more questions. I couldn't understand everything, from love in general, to simple little things. Many people's ideal of marriage is supposed to fix everything. It doesn't. Marriage has more problems. You get slapped with bigger and more responsibilities. You are not only thinking for yourself, but also for your lover. You see a marriage is very fragile. You hold it in your hands...and you can either crush it, drop it, hold it, or cling to it. Me? Well, I'm clinging to it. Octavio and I have had our ups and downs. Yet here we are, loving one another still. Even though at some points in our marriage, you would've thought we'd end it. We didn't. Even now...going against whatever odds, we have the courage to believe. Even if it fails, I don't believe him and I will hold it badly. I want it to work, I want to believe, and darn right...I want him. Love. It's a crazy thing really. Me on the other hand, I could never understand how I could fall in love easily, then fall out of it even easier. Perhaps it's my tendency to be needy, that I'm desperate. I at least have the view of my problem and see I need to understand things in a totally different perspective. Needless to say, I do love him very much. It's quite clear in my heart. Is there doubt? Just a hint, I won't lie. Yet, isn't that everyone? I've always staggered on every step in my life. Call it my safety rope. It's bad to always think negative. I know that. But always...and by all means always...be logical and rational.