fic: The Game {Chapter 3}
Title: The Game - Chapter 3
Length: Chaptered
Author: M_K Yujji
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Pairing/Characters: MinHo; implied past JaeHo, YunChul
Disclaimer: Though real people are used as characters, this fic bears no resemblance to Real Life and these people are not owned by me.
Comments/Notes:
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2
Summary: Being the leader was hard, sometimes...
~*~*~
“He's moping and you're scuttling around the apartment like a cat afraid of the mouse.” Jaejoong rolled his eyes and poked Yunho with a toe. “If you're regretting turning him down, then do something about it. It's our first week off in ages and you guys are disrupting everyone else's sense of peace and rest.”
Yunho made a face and swatted at the older man's foot. “I don't think of him like that and you know why I talked to him about it.”
“Yunho....” There was a wealth of sorrow in Jaejoong's voice. Sorrow that he couldn't be what Yunho needed, sorrow that he'd hurt Yunho so badly.
He'd tried, Yunho knew. Jaejoong had tried so very hard, but it would have been less painful for them both if he'd been honest with himself about his own nature before things had gotten so far.
Some day, perhaps, Jaejoong would reach a point where he could give his heart and his body to just one person and be happy with that. He hadn't yet, though, and it didn't look like it was on the horizon anytime soon.
It still hurt, sometimes, for Yunho to watch Jaejoong's casual flings even now that they'd decided to just be friends. He knew he couldn't have had an open relationship or turn a blind eye to the random one night stands that would have happened behind his back. Maybe it was abnormal for a guy so young to crave such exclusivity, but Yunho would not apologize for his own nature any more than he'd ask Jaejoong to do so. “Don't say you're sorry, Boo. It is what it is. But what kind of hyung would I be if I didn't at least try to keep him from having to deal with the same kind of pain that we went through?”
It wasn't the same situation, but his heart still ached at the thought of causing their young friend any of the pain they'd suffered.
Jaejoong sighed and slid down to sit on the floor next to Yunho. His hair tickled Yunho's neck as they leaned against each other. “What will you do? You guys can't keep up the avoidance and moping. It's effecting all of us.”
“I don't know, Boo. I don't know what to do. I don't want to make things harder for him than they already are, but does that mean I should go out of my way to spend time with him and show him that I still care or would that just make it harder for him?” He rubbed his neck with an aggrieved sigh. It was so hard to know what to do.
“I don't know either,” Jaejoong replied, pale hands wrapping around Yunho's. “I'm sorry I'm not more help.”
Yunho stared at the contrasting tones, only vaguely aware as his mind struggled with things. Circling around, never quite settling on an answer that settled the problem. Finally he sighed and leaned his head back. “Maybe I'm thinking about this wrong.”
“Hmm?” Jaejoong glanced at him with a questioning look.
He nodded decisively and pulled Jaejoong's hands up for a quick kiss. “Maybe I need to stop treating him like a kid and trying to protect him. I'll just ask him, which would be easier.”
It was the only solution that would show Changmin that Yunho respected him.
~*~*~
It wasn't hard to find Changmin. Each of the band members had their own ways of dealing with things that were truly bothering them.
But Changmin was the only one who actually stayed in the apartment.
Yunho hovered in the doorway of the work room for a few minutes, trying to plan out what he would say, how he would ask. Nothing was coming to him though, no fancy words that would ease the strain between them.
The younger man had his headphones on, the hard rock he was listening to turned up so loud that Yunho could hear it from the door. Part of him wanted to scold Changmin for potentially damaging his hearing. Mostly Yunho just wanted to apologize for making him feel the need to shut out the rest of the world.
He bit his lip and shifted uneasily before sighing at his own ridiculousness. They'd never solve anything if he just stood around like an idiot. He closed the door and crossed the room to rest a hand on his friend's shoulder.
Changmin jerked hard at the sudden intrusion and glanced back before quickly exiting out of several windows. Yunho got just the briefest glimpse of what had been up, but it had been enough to recognize fanfic when he saw it.
The music cut off and the headphones came off.
It was a good sign, he decided. A sign that he wouldn't be immediately ejected from the room.
“Is it dinner time?”
When Changmin made to rise, Yunho exerted slight pressure on his shoulder to keep him seated. “No, Min. Dinner's not ready. I was hoping we could talk for a minute?”
Though he looked hesitant, Changmin gestured to Junsu's chair and rolled his own around so that he could focus his attention on Yunho.
It was a little unnerving, actually, but the band leader stomped firmly on that little quivering bundle of nerves and settled himself down. He bit his lip for a moment. Then he sighed and met Changmin's eyes. “I don't know what to do here, Min.”
“It's my problem, not yours.” Changmin crossed his arms in an unconsciously defensive gesture. “I'll deal with it.”
“I don't want to cause you more pain than I already have... I want... to make it easier for you.... But I don't know how to do that.” He held up a hand to forestall the sullen arguments he could already see threatening to erupt. “I know. You're an adult and you can handle it on your own. But you're still my friend and I can't stand the idea that something I do or don't do is going to hurt you more.”
Yunho sighed and ran both hands through his hair, pulling on the ends faintly. “My first inclination to someone hurting you is to drag them outside and kick their ass then come back inside, wrap you up in a blanket, give you some hot cocoa and hug you until your annoyance at my smothering overwhelms your pain.”
That got a snort of amusement and a soft mutter about it being far too easy to picture.
He smiled briefly before continuing. “That... doesn't exactly work here. So... That leaves me in a quandary. Do I follow my own instinct and go ahead and smother you with friendship and care? Or do I stand back and try to keep myself apart until you've worked it out on your own?” Yunho paused, trying to will Changmin to see his honest sincerity through just his gaze. “I've spent the last few weeks chasing my own tail trying to work it out and it occurred to me that ... maybe you're right. Maybe I'm not giving you the credit and respect that you've deserve. That you've earned. You're not a child and I can't keep trying to protect you from yourself - or anyone else.”
For a long moment, Min was silent. Then he took a deep breath, puffy cheeked as he exhaled. “I don't want you to stay away from me. Maybe it will hurt to be so close and know... that's as close as it'll ever be.” His arms loosened and he offered a shaky smile. “But I was dealing with that already. The other way... That would be worse.”
Yunho searched Min's expression for any sign that he wasn't sure of that decision, but there was none and he wouldn't insult Changmin by insinuating that the younger man didn't know his own mind.
He smiled and stood up, holding out a hand. “Want to go get dinner?”
There was hesitation in Changmin's eyes. “Just you and me?”
“One of the staff members told me of this great new place that just opened up a few blocks from here.”
Changmin's smile was slow, but when it settled on his face, it went all the way to his eyes for the first time in months. He reached up and took Yunho's hands.
~*~*~
Chapter 4
Length: Chaptered
Author: M_K Yujji
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Pairing/Characters: MinHo; implied past JaeHo, YunChul
Disclaimer: Though real people are used as characters, this fic bears no resemblance to Real Life and these people are not owned by me.
Comments/Notes:
Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2
Summary: Being the leader was hard, sometimes...
~*~*~
“He's moping and you're scuttling around the apartment like a cat afraid of the mouse.” Jaejoong rolled his eyes and poked Yunho with a toe. “If you're regretting turning him down, then do something about it. It's our first week off in ages and you guys are disrupting everyone else's sense of peace and rest.”
Yunho made a face and swatted at the older man's foot. “I don't think of him like that and you know why I talked to him about it.”
“Yunho....” There was a wealth of sorrow in Jaejoong's voice. Sorrow that he couldn't be what Yunho needed, sorrow that he'd hurt Yunho so badly.
He'd tried, Yunho knew. Jaejoong had tried so very hard, but it would have been less painful for them both if he'd been honest with himself about his own nature before things had gotten so far.
Some day, perhaps, Jaejoong would reach a point where he could give his heart and his body to just one person and be happy with that. He hadn't yet, though, and it didn't look like it was on the horizon anytime soon.
It still hurt, sometimes, for Yunho to watch Jaejoong's casual flings even now that they'd decided to just be friends. He knew he couldn't have had an open relationship or turn a blind eye to the random one night stands that would have happened behind his back. Maybe it was abnormal for a guy so young to crave such exclusivity, but Yunho would not apologize for his own nature any more than he'd ask Jaejoong to do so. “Don't say you're sorry, Boo. It is what it is. But what kind of hyung would I be if I didn't at least try to keep him from having to deal with the same kind of pain that we went through?”
It wasn't the same situation, but his heart still ached at the thought of causing their young friend any of the pain they'd suffered.
Jaejoong sighed and slid down to sit on the floor next to Yunho. His hair tickled Yunho's neck as they leaned against each other. “What will you do? You guys can't keep up the avoidance and moping. It's effecting all of us.”
“I don't know, Boo. I don't know what to do. I don't want to make things harder for him than they already are, but does that mean I should go out of my way to spend time with him and show him that I still care or would that just make it harder for him?” He rubbed his neck with an aggrieved sigh. It was so hard to know what to do.
“I don't know either,” Jaejoong replied, pale hands wrapping around Yunho's. “I'm sorry I'm not more help.”
Yunho stared at the contrasting tones, only vaguely aware as his mind struggled with things. Circling around, never quite settling on an answer that settled the problem. Finally he sighed and leaned his head back. “Maybe I'm thinking about this wrong.”
“Hmm?” Jaejoong glanced at him with a questioning look.
He nodded decisively and pulled Jaejoong's hands up for a quick kiss. “Maybe I need to stop treating him like a kid and trying to protect him. I'll just ask him, which would be easier.”
It was the only solution that would show Changmin that Yunho respected him.
~*~*~
It wasn't hard to find Changmin. Each of the band members had their own ways of dealing with things that were truly bothering them.
But Changmin was the only one who actually stayed in the apartment.
Yunho hovered in the doorway of the work room for a few minutes, trying to plan out what he would say, how he would ask. Nothing was coming to him though, no fancy words that would ease the strain between them.
The younger man had his headphones on, the hard rock he was listening to turned up so loud that Yunho could hear it from the door. Part of him wanted to scold Changmin for potentially damaging his hearing. Mostly Yunho just wanted to apologize for making him feel the need to shut out the rest of the world.
He bit his lip and shifted uneasily before sighing at his own ridiculousness. They'd never solve anything if he just stood around like an idiot. He closed the door and crossed the room to rest a hand on his friend's shoulder.
Changmin jerked hard at the sudden intrusion and glanced back before quickly exiting out of several windows. Yunho got just the briefest glimpse of what had been up, but it had been enough to recognize fanfic when he saw it.
The music cut off and the headphones came off.
It was a good sign, he decided. A sign that he wouldn't be immediately ejected from the room.
“Is it dinner time?”
When Changmin made to rise, Yunho exerted slight pressure on his shoulder to keep him seated. “No, Min. Dinner's not ready. I was hoping we could talk for a minute?”
Though he looked hesitant, Changmin gestured to Junsu's chair and rolled his own around so that he could focus his attention on Yunho.
It was a little unnerving, actually, but the band leader stomped firmly on that little quivering bundle of nerves and settled himself down. He bit his lip for a moment. Then he sighed and met Changmin's eyes. “I don't know what to do here, Min.”
“It's my problem, not yours.” Changmin crossed his arms in an unconsciously defensive gesture. “I'll deal with it.”
“I don't want to cause you more pain than I already have... I want... to make it easier for you.... But I don't know how to do that.” He held up a hand to forestall the sullen arguments he could already see threatening to erupt. “I know. You're an adult and you can handle it on your own. But you're still my friend and I can't stand the idea that something I do or don't do is going to hurt you more.”
Yunho sighed and ran both hands through his hair, pulling on the ends faintly. “My first inclination to someone hurting you is to drag them outside and kick their ass then come back inside, wrap you up in a blanket, give you some hot cocoa and hug you until your annoyance at my smothering overwhelms your pain.”
That got a snort of amusement and a soft mutter about it being far too easy to picture.
He smiled briefly before continuing. “That... doesn't exactly work here. So... That leaves me in a quandary. Do I follow my own instinct and go ahead and smother you with friendship and care? Or do I stand back and try to keep myself apart until you've worked it out on your own?” Yunho paused, trying to will Changmin to see his honest sincerity through just his gaze. “I've spent the last few weeks chasing my own tail trying to work it out and it occurred to me that ... maybe you're right. Maybe I'm not giving you the credit and respect that you've deserve. That you've earned. You're not a child and I can't keep trying to protect you from yourself - or anyone else.”
For a long moment, Min was silent. Then he took a deep breath, puffy cheeked as he exhaled. “I don't want you to stay away from me. Maybe it will hurt to be so close and know... that's as close as it'll ever be.” His arms loosened and he offered a shaky smile. “But I was dealing with that already. The other way... That would be worse.”
Yunho searched Min's expression for any sign that he wasn't sure of that decision, but there was none and he wouldn't insult Changmin by insinuating that the younger man didn't know his own mind.
He smiled and stood up, holding out a hand. “Want to go get dinner?”
There was hesitation in Changmin's eyes. “Just you and me?”
“One of the staff members told me of this great new place that just opened up a few blocks from here.”
Changmin's smile was slow, but when it settled on his face, it went all the way to his eyes for the first time in months. He reached up and took Yunho's hands.
~*~*~
Chapter 4