fic: Sock Puppets For the Win(beast)
Title: Sock Puppets For the Win
Length: one-shot
Author: M_K Yujji
Rating: pg-13 for implied theme
Genre: humor, crack
Pairing/Characters: Dooseob, Beast
Warnings: RPS, crack
Disclaimer: Though real people are used as characters, this fic bears no resemblance to Real Life and these people are not owned by me.
Comments/Notes: lol. I swear, these guys are taking over my brain. I've watched/listened to more Beast in the last couple of weeks than all other bands combined. The forum conversation is not real, just a parody of dozens of others I've seen over the years.
Summary: It was such a tiny thing, really... Too small to justify involving the fans, except...
~*~*~*~
The first time they performed Bad Girl and there was no hug or smack to his ass or anything other than the original choreography, Doojoon was perhaps a little disappointed, but he didn't really think much of it. The co-mingled dread and anticipation were worse than any random bit of skinship that he ended up being subjected to and Yoseob probably got just as much amusement out of watching his band leader twitch as he did the thrill of getting away with his whims in public.
The second time, he couldn't help but pout a little and wonder if Yoseob was mad at him for something.
By the third time, he was torn between concern and annoyance and moody enough to actually corner his friend about it.
Yoseob laughed off his grumpy questions and looped both arms around him. “Aww, hyung~ I didn't know you cared~”
“Brat,” Doojoon replied, trying to scowl but mostly failing as he relaxed against Yoseob. “Seriously. If you're not mad at me, what's up?”
“Management asked me to stop,” Yoseob said with a grin and a shrug, unconcerned but amused that it was bothering Doojoon so much. “They said I was giving the fans the wrong idea.”
Or the right one.
Doojoon squashed that thought down as ruthlessly as he knew how. Yoseob was an affectionate person by nature and that spilled out into his interactions with his band mates. He couldn't be held responsible for his band leader's perversions trying to make more of it than it was.
Someone at some point had decided that they were going to stand out by not relying on the skinship and fanservice that made some of the other bands popular and they'd all been asked to do their best to keep it in mind as they interacted.
Personally, Doojoon thought the entire idea was doomed to failure.
Six guys living together in cramped quarters, spending most of their time together with little to no privacy and no acknowledged girl(or boy)friends, day in and day out? That kind of closeness was bound to develop into something tangible and noticeable to anyone with eyes. Toss in the typical fangirl mentality and he didn't see any way their fans weren't going to think something was going on between at least some of them.
Hell, given enough time and isolation, he figured it was kind of inevitable that they went from being six friends to being three couples in some form or fashion out of sheer survival instinct.
But no one had asked for his opinion and he'd never been crazy enough to offer it.
“Oh.” Doojoon knew he was pouting, but dammit... he'd enjoyed trying to guess what Yoseob would do each time. And he'd liked the idea of sharing that little game with Yoseob in plain view of everyone. It was theirs. And that made it special.
Yoseob's laugh was fading and he got a considering look. “It really bothers you, doesn't it?”
Doojoon rolled his eyes and shoved the younger man playfully. “Please. As if I mind not being molested in public. I just thought you were mad at me. Which could potentially be dangerous since you know where I sleep.”
Coward.
He grabbed Yoseob by the neck and started rubbing his knuckles against the bright white hair, laughing at Yoseob's disgruntled shouts and flailing protests.
The wrestling match that followed - and was eventually joined in on by their bandmates, much to the horror of all their stylists and the resigned amusement of the rest of the staff - successfully distracted him from the issue for the rest of the day.
That night, though, sitting at the computer trying to go through his email, Doojoon had to admit to himself that it did bother him. Probably more than it should have.
It was such a tiny thing. Tiny enough that he shouldn't care.... Tiny enough that management shouldn't have cared.
Big enough for the fans to notice, though, and everyone who'd ever stepped foot on the stage knew that the fans were the driving force behind 90% of the decisions that ever got made.
Which made him wonder if they'd noticed the sudden lack.
Curious, he pulled up a new tab and signed into a sock puppet account he had with their b2uties's main forum. He grinned slightly at the name. When they'd first set the accounts up, he'd been busy doing something else and had left his up to the others. iloveyangyoseob was undoubtedly their idea of a joke and Doojoon had made all the appropriate noises of annoyance and had created a second account, but truthfully, he rather liked the first one and had never deleted it.
He scrolled through the topics, the grin softening at the encouraging words of their fans. It was always nice to see.
A thread caught his eye and he paused, a pout forming once more.
New Topic: YS & DJ fighting? Opinions please??????
As he read on, he realized that yes, the fans had noticed. They'd noticed and drawn the same conclusion that he had, originally - that Yoseob was mad at him.
They bandied about a variety of reasons for the apparent rift, some completely ridiculous, others more reasonable, none of them even close to the truth.
He hesitated for a moment. They weren't actually supposed to post with the sock puppets, just observe.
The need to do something, though, was overwhelming. The entire issue was worse than a splinter caught under his nail. It was driving him crazy.
iloveyangyoseob: hi! New poster here. ;_; I don't think they're fighting. If you look at all the clips and stuff of off-stage, they're still just as close as usual. I think maybe someone told them to knock it off.
Several responses popped back up to that fairly quickly, ranging from simple hello new poster~ to someone agreeing with him and adding links to a dozen little 'back stage' clips to prove the point.
Doojoon had to blink at some of them, wondering just who in the hell was leaking all these videos. At least one of them he hadn't thought anyone was there except the band itself.
Suspicious, he asked for the video's original poster and traced around until he eventually landed back at a familiar YouTube account. He rolled his eyes and made a mental note to tell Yoseob and Dongwoon to be more careful what they posted online.
When he flipped back over to the forum, the thread had exploded.
A petition had been formed.
He grinned and added his own 'signature' before switching over to his other account and adding it as well. Then, just because he could, he went through and added all the bands' accounts.
They were the ones who left their passwords saved in the computer. That was practically giving permission for their accounts to be used as anyone else saw fit.
Eventually, the furor died down a bit and the last trickle of signatures came to an end. Doojoon offered to give a copy to CUBE, saying he had a friend who worked in the building. He didn't think they quite believed him, but they gave him a green light anyways. Undoubtedly, they were making their own arrangements rather than just hoping he was telling the truth.
He was just about to sign off and head to bed when he got another message notice.
iheartdooseob: ^^ if you don't mind me asking, you're a dooseob fan, right? You just seem really passionate about this.
He hesitated again, but the anonymity was a siren's call.
iloveyangyoseob: I have 100% faith that Doojoon is madly in love with Yoseob.
Iheartdooseob: I know, right???? ^^v They're so cute~ Doojoon is so obviously devoted. I can't understand how everyone can't see it.
Doojoon grinned and shook his head as he got drawn into deeper conversation about the intricacies of how DooSeob was so obviously real.
He didn't understand how nobody noticed, either.
~*~*~
“You look like you need a nap,” Yoseob said, concern coloring his voice as he flopped down next to Doojoon on the couch. “What were you up doing on the computer all night, watching porn?”
“Yah, don't be an idiot,” Doojoon muttered, twisting around so that he could use Yoseob's shoulder as a pillow. “If I'd been watching porn, I wouldn't have been doing it when you guys were all home.”
Not when they all still gave Hyunseung crap about the one time he'd gotten caught watching some Chinese girl on girl stuff he'd found somewhere.
Yoseob laughed softly, trying not to shake too much.
Doojoon appreciated the effort as he snuggled closer and tried to doze a little.
It seemed like he'd barely closed his eyes, but he must have been at least somewhat successful because Yoseob was shaking him awake. “Hey, come on, sleepy head. Manager wants to see us.”
“Hmm? Oh...” Doojoon yawned and pushed himself up. He was going to have to make sure he went straight to bed after dinner.
Their manager wasn't an unkind man. None of the Cube staff they dealt with on a regular basis were and it made Doojoon glad that he'd landed with them instead of one of the bigger companies. When they slipped into his office, he didn't look so much annoyed or aggravated as he did resigned.
He waited until they stood shoulder to shoulder in front of him before leaning back and sighing. “It would appear that fans somehow found out that you were asked to stick to the choreography in Bad Girl.”
“Eh?” Yoseob leaned forward, all wide eyed curiosity while Doojoon just cringed and tried very hard not to blush.
The vague suspicion that had been leveled at Yoseob originally zeroed in on the band leader as he tried to look innocent. Their manager snorted and shook his head, tossing down the printed copy of the petition that Doojoon had slipped into his box that morning. Yoseob grabbed it up and scanned over the text intently. “I've been respectfully requested to keep my nose out of your freedom of expression.”
“Hey, isn't that-” Yoseob cut off abruptly, looking up and glancing between his manager and his band leader before finishing . “Interesting? I mean... That the fans would care so much about something so little.”
“Yes, isn't it?” The older man asked, his eyes wryly amused as he watched Doojoon squirm. “So, indeed. Feel free to 'express' yourself, Yoseob. As long as Doojoon doesn't mind, of course.”
Doojoon offered a weak smile and wished he could sink through the floor. “If that's what the fans want, who am I to disappoint?”
Yoseob laughed outright at that before grabbing Doojoon's arm and pulling him towards the door. “Is there anything else, Manager sshi?”
“No. Just try to stay out of trouble, please? I'd rather it didn't get out that Beast's band leader is hanging around the forums starting petitions.”
“I didn't really start it,” he muttered, blushing as a still-laughing Yoseob led him away.
They only made it halfway back to their own dressing room before the younger man whirled around and edged Doojoon up against a wall. “You care enough about this to get the fans behind you?”
“Umm...” Doojoon felt the heat in his cheeks reach new peaks as he shrugged. “They thought we were fighting... I was just correcting them.”
“And signing their petition. With all of our names. And don't think I didn't notice that old account because I totally did.”
“Well-”
Whatever excuse he might have come up with was lost as Yoseob kissed him, hard. It took a moment to process that it was actually happening, long enough for the blonde to hesitate and start to pull back. He wasn't stupid though, certainly not stupid enough to let go when Yoseob was brave enough to take that first step to giving him what he'd been wanting all this time. Doojoon wrapped both arms around his friend and held on tight.
He felt Yoseob's smile more than saw it as one kiss became two and then three. He'd have been content to stay there forever if the sound of a throat clearing nearby hadn't brought reality crashing back down on him.
They jerked apart, blushing when they realized their manager was standing there with a slightly pained look on his face. “Boys, can you please keep this sort of thing at home and out of the tabloids?”
“Sorry,” they chimed, neither particularly sorry about what had happened, only that it had happened somewhere where they could get caught.
Their manager sighed and shook his head. “Go ahead and take the rest of the day off. I doubt either one of you are going to be able to keep your mind on work today.”
The way Yoseob perked up, Doojoon wouldn't have been surprised to see puppy ears sticking up from his hair. “Thank you!”
Then it was Doojoon's turn to laugh as Yoseob grabbed his arm again and began dragging him away.
~*~*~
Dongwoon stifled a yawn as he stumbled into the apartment behind Hyunseung. It had been a long day and somewhere towards the middle of the end, Doojoon and Yoseob had completely disappeared. It wasn't that big of a deal - other than some daily practice, there hadn't been much group work to actually do. Still, he kind of wished he'd been able to skip out early too.
He paused for a moment, considering the pros and cons of going to the kitchen for food or skipping it entirely and going to pass out.
Maybe a nap, then a snack?
Pleased with his decision, Dongwoon didn't even manage a step towards the bedroom before Hyunseung stormed past him from the same direction, muttering something about inconsiderate jerkoffs and not enough alcohol in all the world as he headed towards their tiny kitchenette.
“Ooookay....” Dongwoon was curious as to what had put his normally calm hyung in such a huff but more than anything else, he just wanted to take that nap.
Yoseob-pitched giggles and a huskier laugh that could only be Doojoon reached his ears before he got the door all the way open and he sighed before backing away slowly and turning around to head to the kitchen.
Apparently he was going to be eating first after all.
~*~*~
fin
Length: one-shot
Author: M_K Yujji
Rating: pg-13 for implied theme
Genre: humor, crack
Pairing/Characters: Dooseob, Beast
Warnings: RPS, crack
Disclaimer: Though real people are used as characters, this fic bears no resemblance to Real Life and these people are not owned by me.
Comments/Notes: lol. I swear, these guys are taking over my brain. I've watched/listened to more Beast in the last couple of weeks than all other bands combined. The forum conversation is not real, just a parody of dozens of others I've seen over the years.
Summary: It was such a tiny thing, really... Too small to justify involving the fans, except...
~*~*~*~
The first time they performed Bad Girl and there was no hug or smack to his ass or anything other than the original choreography, Doojoon was perhaps a little disappointed, but he didn't really think much of it. The co-mingled dread and anticipation were worse than any random bit of skinship that he ended up being subjected to and Yoseob probably got just as much amusement out of watching his band leader twitch as he did the thrill of getting away with his whims in public.
The second time, he couldn't help but pout a little and wonder if Yoseob was mad at him for something.
By the third time, he was torn between concern and annoyance and moody enough to actually corner his friend about it.
Yoseob laughed off his grumpy questions and looped both arms around him. “Aww, hyung~ I didn't know you cared~”
“Brat,” Doojoon replied, trying to scowl but mostly failing as he relaxed against Yoseob. “Seriously. If you're not mad at me, what's up?”
“Management asked me to stop,” Yoseob said with a grin and a shrug, unconcerned but amused that it was bothering Doojoon so much. “They said I was giving the fans the wrong idea.”
Or the right one.
Doojoon squashed that thought down as ruthlessly as he knew how. Yoseob was an affectionate person by nature and that spilled out into his interactions with his band mates. He couldn't be held responsible for his band leader's perversions trying to make more of it than it was.
Someone at some point had decided that they were going to stand out by not relying on the skinship and fanservice that made some of the other bands popular and they'd all been asked to do their best to keep it in mind as they interacted.
Personally, Doojoon thought the entire idea was doomed to failure.
Six guys living together in cramped quarters, spending most of their time together with little to no privacy and no acknowledged girl(or boy)friends, day in and day out? That kind of closeness was bound to develop into something tangible and noticeable to anyone with eyes. Toss in the typical fangirl mentality and he didn't see any way their fans weren't going to think something was going on between at least some of them.
Hell, given enough time and isolation, he figured it was kind of inevitable that they went from being six friends to being three couples in some form or fashion out of sheer survival instinct.
But no one had asked for his opinion and he'd never been crazy enough to offer it.
“Oh.” Doojoon knew he was pouting, but dammit... he'd enjoyed trying to guess what Yoseob would do each time. And he'd liked the idea of sharing that little game with Yoseob in plain view of everyone. It was theirs. And that made it special.
Yoseob's laugh was fading and he got a considering look. “It really bothers you, doesn't it?”
Doojoon rolled his eyes and shoved the younger man playfully. “Please. As if I mind not being molested in public. I just thought you were mad at me. Which could potentially be dangerous since you know where I sleep.”
Coward.
He grabbed Yoseob by the neck and started rubbing his knuckles against the bright white hair, laughing at Yoseob's disgruntled shouts and flailing protests.
The wrestling match that followed - and was eventually joined in on by their bandmates, much to the horror of all their stylists and the resigned amusement of the rest of the staff - successfully distracted him from the issue for the rest of the day.
That night, though, sitting at the computer trying to go through his email, Doojoon had to admit to himself that it did bother him. Probably more than it should have.
It was such a tiny thing. Tiny enough that he shouldn't care.... Tiny enough that management shouldn't have cared.
Big enough for the fans to notice, though, and everyone who'd ever stepped foot on the stage knew that the fans were the driving force behind 90% of the decisions that ever got made.
Which made him wonder if they'd noticed the sudden lack.
Curious, he pulled up a new tab and signed into a sock puppet account he had with their b2uties's main forum. He grinned slightly at the name. When they'd first set the accounts up, he'd been busy doing something else and had left his up to the others. iloveyangyoseob was undoubtedly their idea of a joke and Doojoon had made all the appropriate noises of annoyance and had created a second account, but truthfully, he rather liked the first one and had never deleted it.
He scrolled through the topics, the grin softening at the encouraging words of their fans. It was always nice to see.
A thread caught his eye and he paused, a pout forming once more.
New Topic: YS & DJ fighting? Opinions please??????
As he read on, he realized that yes, the fans had noticed. They'd noticed and drawn the same conclusion that he had, originally - that Yoseob was mad at him.
They bandied about a variety of reasons for the apparent rift, some completely ridiculous, others more reasonable, none of them even close to the truth.
He hesitated for a moment. They weren't actually supposed to post with the sock puppets, just observe.
The need to do something, though, was overwhelming. The entire issue was worse than a splinter caught under his nail. It was driving him crazy.
iloveyangyoseob: hi! New poster here. ;_; I don't think they're fighting. If you look at all the clips and stuff of off-stage, they're still just as close as usual. I think maybe someone told them to knock it off.
Several responses popped back up to that fairly quickly, ranging from simple hello new poster~ to someone agreeing with him and adding links to a dozen little 'back stage' clips to prove the point.
Doojoon had to blink at some of them, wondering just who in the hell was leaking all these videos. At least one of them he hadn't thought anyone was there except the band itself.
Suspicious, he asked for the video's original poster and traced around until he eventually landed back at a familiar YouTube account. He rolled his eyes and made a mental note to tell Yoseob and Dongwoon to be more careful what they posted online.
When he flipped back over to the forum, the thread had exploded.
A petition had been formed.
He grinned and added his own 'signature' before switching over to his other account and adding it as well. Then, just because he could, he went through and added all the bands' accounts.
They were the ones who left their passwords saved in the computer. That was practically giving permission for their accounts to be used as anyone else saw fit.
Eventually, the furor died down a bit and the last trickle of signatures came to an end. Doojoon offered to give a copy to CUBE, saying he had a friend who worked in the building. He didn't think they quite believed him, but they gave him a green light anyways. Undoubtedly, they were making their own arrangements rather than just hoping he was telling the truth.
He was just about to sign off and head to bed when he got another message notice.
iheartdooseob: ^^ if you don't mind me asking, you're a dooseob fan, right? You just seem really passionate about this.
He hesitated again, but the anonymity was a siren's call.
iloveyangyoseob: I have 100% faith that Doojoon is madly in love with Yoseob.
Iheartdooseob: I know, right???? ^^v They're so cute~ Doojoon is so obviously devoted. I can't understand how everyone can't see it.
Doojoon grinned and shook his head as he got drawn into deeper conversation about the intricacies of how DooSeob was so obviously real.
He didn't understand how nobody noticed, either.
~*~*~
“You look like you need a nap,” Yoseob said, concern coloring his voice as he flopped down next to Doojoon on the couch. “What were you up doing on the computer all night, watching porn?”
“Yah, don't be an idiot,” Doojoon muttered, twisting around so that he could use Yoseob's shoulder as a pillow. “If I'd been watching porn, I wouldn't have been doing it when you guys were all home.”
Not when they all still gave Hyunseung crap about the one time he'd gotten caught watching some Chinese girl on girl stuff he'd found somewhere.
Yoseob laughed softly, trying not to shake too much.
Doojoon appreciated the effort as he snuggled closer and tried to doze a little.
It seemed like he'd barely closed his eyes, but he must have been at least somewhat successful because Yoseob was shaking him awake. “Hey, come on, sleepy head. Manager wants to see us.”
“Hmm? Oh...” Doojoon yawned and pushed himself up. He was going to have to make sure he went straight to bed after dinner.
Their manager wasn't an unkind man. None of the Cube staff they dealt with on a regular basis were and it made Doojoon glad that he'd landed with them instead of one of the bigger companies. When they slipped into his office, he didn't look so much annoyed or aggravated as he did resigned.
He waited until they stood shoulder to shoulder in front of him before leaning back and sighing. “It would appear that fans somehow found out that you were asked to stick to the choreography in Bad Girl.”
“Eh?” Yoseob leaned forward, all wide eyed curiosity while Doojoon just cringed and tried very hard not to blush.
The vague suspicion that had been leveled at Yoseob originally zeroed in on the band leader as he tried to look innocent. Their manager snorted and shook his head, tossing down the printed copy of the petition that Doojoon had slipped into his box that morning. Yoseob grabbed it up and scanned over the text intently. “I've been respectfully requested to keep my nose out of your freedom of expression.”
“Hey, isn't that-” Yoseob cut off abruptly, looking up and glancing between his manager and his band leader before finishing . “Interesting? I mean... That the fans would care so much about something so little.”
“Yes, isn't it?” The older man asked, his eyes wryly amused as he watched Doojoon squirm. “So, indeed. Feel free to 'express' yourself, Yoseob. As long as Doojoon doesn't mind, of course.”
Doojoon offered a weak smile and wished he could sink through the floor. “If that's what the fans want, who am I to disappoint?”
Yoseob laughed outright at that before grabbing Doojoon's arm and pulling him towards the door. “Is there anything else, Manager sshi?”
“No. Just try to stay out of trouble, please? I'd rather it didn't get out that Beast's band leader is hanging around the forums starting petitions.”
“I didn't really start it,” he muttered, blushing as a still-laughing Yoseob led him away.
They only made it halfway back to their own dressing room before the younger man whirled around and edged Doojoon up against a wall. “You care enough about this to get the fans behind you?”
“Umm...” Doojoon felt the heat in his cheeks reach new peaks as he shrugged. “They thought we were fighting... I was just correcting them.”
“And signing their petition. With all of our names. And don't think I didn't notice that old account because I totally did.”
“Well-”
Whatever excuse he might have come up with was lost as Yoseob kissed him, hard. It took a moment to process that it was actually happening, long enough for the blonde to hesitate and start to pull back. He wasn't stupid though, certainly not stupid enough to let go when Yoseob was brave enough to take that first step to giving him what he'd been wanting all this time. Doojoon wrapped both arms around his friend and held on tight.
He felt Yoseob's smile more than saw it as one kiss became two and then three. He'd have been content to stay there forever if the sound of a throat clearing nearby hadn't brought reality crashing back down on him.
They jerked apart, blushing when they realized their manager was standing there with a slightly pained look on his face. “Boys, can you please keep this sort of thing at home and out of the tabloids?”
“Sorry,” they chimed, neither particularly sorry about what had happened, only that it had happened somewhere where they could get caught.
Their manager sighed and shook his head. “Go ahead and take the rest of the day off. I doubt either one of you are going to be able to keep your mind on work today.”
The way Yoseob perked up, Doojoon wouldn't have been surprised to see puppy ears sticking up from his hair. “Thank you!”
Then it was Doojoon's turn to laugh as Yoseob grabbed his arm again and began dragging him away.
~*~*~
Dongwoon stifled a yawn as he stumbled into the apartment behind Hyunseung. It had been a long day and somewhere towards the middle of the end, Doojoon and Yoseob had completely disappeared. It wasn't that big of a deal - other than some daily practice, there hadn't been much group work to actually do. Still, he kind of wished he'd been able to skip out early too.
He paused for a moment, considering the pros and cons of going to the kitchen for food or skipping it entirely and going to pass out.
Maybe a nap, then a snack?
Pleased with his decision, Dongwoon didn't even manage a step towards the bedroom before Hyunseung stormed past him from the same direction, muttering something about inconsiderate jerkoffs and not enough alcohol in all the world as he headed towards their tiny kitchenette.
“Ooookay....” Dongwoon was curious as to what had put his normally calm hyung in such a huff but more than anything else, he just wanted to take that nap.
Yoseob-pitched giggles and a huskier laugh that could only be Doojoon reached his ears before he got the door all the way open and he sighed before backing away slowly and turning around to head to the kitchen.
Apparently he was going to be eating first after all.
~*~*~
fin