Of nothing about everything
I turn to this for release. The pain is astounding and irrational. I try to understand what is wrong, but it's not that easy. I feel misplaced more than ever before, my purpose lost, and my drive stunted. I'm all in all a wreck once more.
The comforts of a meandering home are something not lost to the troubled refugee mind. When home becomes an abstract, a place to hang your hat merely to hold your laundry, and your identity starts to simultaneously disintegrate itself from you, it all crashes to abstract actions. It's a displaced misinformation creation of no elation. Something I can only hope to overcome through ignorance.
My happiness is fleeting, short lived, and dependent on my days events. Even then it's sometimes for naught.
I am alone. I am lonely.
I've stopped to brush my teeth. I was in the bathroom when it occurred to me how much I just really want to punch Jeff in the face. Then I realized this wasn't an appropriate response at all. I don't know why, but I'm upset with him as a person. Are my standards in people to high?
I consistently fall apart at 3 am in the morning. It's a problem. I need someone to talk to, but no one is up. The people that are don't have the answers, and talking to them isn't something I'd normally do. So I am alone in my pensive state hoping against hope that someone will respond.
I want to
I can't finish that statement. It's upsetting beyond all reason to not know what you want. Having a broken internal compass is something of a disaster. At the same time, I want to do absolutely everything. If going everywhere and nowhere simultaneously was a possibility, would you ever move?
More and more I realize I don't understand people at all. I hope to though.
The comforts of a meandering home are something not lost to the troubled refugee mind. When home becomes an abstract, a place to hang your hat merely to hold your laundry, and your identity starts to simultaneously disintegrate itself from you, it all crashes to abstract actions. It's a displaced misinformation creation of no elation. Something I can only hope to overcome through ignorance.
My happiness is fleeting, short lived, and dependent on my days events. Even then it's sometimes for naught.
I am alone. I am lonely.
I've stopped to brush my teeth. I was in the bathroom when it occurred to me how much I just really want to punch Jeff in the face. Then I realized this wasn't an appropriate response at all. I don't know why, but I'm upset with him as a person. Are my standards in people to high?
I consistently fall apart at 3 am in the morning. It's a problem. I need someone to talk to, but no one is up. The people that are don't have the answers, and talking to them isn't something I'd normally do. So I am alone in my pensive state hoping against hope that someone will respond.
I want to
I can't finish that statement. It's upsetting beyond all reason to not know what you want. Having a broken internal compass is something of a disaster. At the same time, I want to do absolutely everything. If going everywhere and nowhere simultaneously was a possibility, would you ever move?
More and more I realize I don't understand people at all. I hope to though.