Apples and Seagulls
Tonight, I decided to take a chance.
As of now I don't know how it ended.
I suppose I should feel good about myself, but it all just hurts. The pain is real. The affection isn't.
I found myself thinking today about the people I was looking at in the cafe. The fact was that these people are closer to me than my 10 year old cousin will be. It's a strange thought, and I don't think it ever fully occurred to me how disconnected from his life I'd be. It was just one thought in the day, and more poignant and true than most today.
Sometimes when I'm alone, and I'm walking with my music so that I feel more alone than I am, I thing for a moment about how it would be if the music was playing like a soundtrack, and a camera was doing a flyby over my head. For a moment it spins around me and I see all the people, and then I look up at it and it takes off into the distance, and I'm left alone, looking up at the sky.
I couldn't get comfortable in Java's today. I was worried she'd be there. It's like I'm playing some sort of game of espionage with a person I can't fully remember. Since, I can't remember so many things about her, it's like she could come from anywhere. I don't understand though, since I'm not running away. I guess I'm just afraid I won't recognize her face.
I suppose though, what does a slight like that matter now.
People think I'm crazy cause I think differently. I live in some strange beautiful anime world where buildings jump out and take down bicyclists that are riding too close. Where the seagulls don't eat the apples, but the apples eat the seagulls. All it means though is that I'm just in my own little world. It's just me here, and I wish it wasn't.
As of now I don't know how it ended.
I suppose I should feel good about myself, but it all just hurts. The pain is real. The affection isn't.
I found myself thinking today about the people I was looking at in the cafe. The fact was that these people are closer to me than my 10 year old cousin will be. It's a strange thought, and I don't think it ever fully occurred to me how disconnected from his life I'd be. It was just one thought in the day, and more poignant and true than most today.
Sometimes when I'm alone, and I'm walking with my music so that I feel more alone than I am, I thing for a moment about how it would be if the music was playing like a soundtrack, and a camera was doing a flyby over my head. For a moment it spins around me and I see all the people, and then I look up at it and it takes off into the distance, and I'm left alone, looking up at the sky.
I couldn't get comfortable in Java's today. I was worried she'd be there. It's like I'm playing some sort of game of espionage with a person I can't fully remember. Since, I can't remember so many things about her, it's like she could come from anywhere. I don't understand though, since I'm not running away. I guess I'm just afraid I won't recognize her face.
I suppose though, what does a slight like that matter now.
People think I'm crazy cause I think differently. I live in some strange beautiful anime world where buildings jump out and take down bicyclists that are riding too close. Where the seagulls don't eat the apples, but the apples eat the seagulls. All it means though is that I'm just in my own little world. It's just me here, and I wish it wasn't.