I was sifting through my WiP folder and noticed all the AUs (which happened to be most of them? ahahaha /o\) and realized something I hadn't yet considered.
The one in which Danny somehow (either he is sick or dreaming or has been hit in the head, as one sometimes is when when works with Steve) and he "wakes up" in Opposite Land. Everyone is dressed professionally! At first Danny is like, "HMMM. That's odd," because Steve isn't wearing his cargo pants and Chin isn't wearing (yet another) truly amazingly confusing-to-the-eye Aloha shirt, but thinks maybe they're going to court or something where the judge tends to frown on casual dress. (Who knows, whatever, he's not too troubled by that, just you know, a little confused and, admittedly, part of him is deeply suspicious. Also, Steve cleans up nice, so whatever.) He gets increasingly twitchy (WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM) when the day goes by without any major incidents, just following up on leads and getting information for cases and it is all nice and pleasant and he'd almost forgotten how nice it was get through a day without someone trying to shoot him or those around him.
And then the next day is like that too! He is like, "I guess I should enjoy the peace while I can?" (He still keeps an eye on Steve though, because, well, Steve.)
The third day is when they end up in a shootout somewhere, and - wonder of wonders - Steve is not to blame for it! The bad guys were really just that paranoid and twitchy and also maybe on drugs, who knows. Somewhere in there Danny runs out of ammo and turns to Steve all, "I'm out!" because Steve is usually his go-to guy for extra magazine clips in all situations in which there are people trying to shoot them dead, right? But Steve is like, "This never happened in the SEALs!" like that is supposed to make any sense, right? Danny just thinks maybe Steve's had a rough time of it the past couple of days cooped up at HQ getting information and all that, so he shrugs it off and asks if Steve has grenades or other explosive devices on his person because hey, for once he would not mind if Steve did.
Steve is like "No, why would I?" But then he also has this look on his face like this is all Danny's fault, like maybe Danny ought not have have implied that that one guy wasn't so bright with his criminal masterminding and Danny is like. "Are you serious with this?" And Steve starts in about about how Danny is totally a loose cannon and going to get them all killed with his shenanigans. Danny just sits there, crouched down behind some crates with bullets whizzing past them and is like, "What the actual fuck is going on here?" and kind of like, "Oh, God, the irony of you, Steve McGarrett, lecturing me on how not to act like a crazed lunatic, it is to laugh."
And then their back-up shows up and saves the day and Danny and Steve are all kind of scowl-y and glare-y. And it isn't until they get back to HQ that Danny realizes how wrong everything is in his world! Earlier that day Kono was all, "But my nails! I couldn't possibly punch someone in the face!" right before the whole getting shot at thing, and Chin, okay. Chin was riding his bike because he's Chin, but he was wearing a helmet. :O!
The tipping point, however, into Danny realizing all is not right in the world is when they're dealing with the aftermath of the shootout and catching of criminals and Steve is in his office all focused on his paperwork, the tip of his tongue poking out as he makes sure to dot his i's and cross his t's and he's just really gung-ho about the damn paperwork getting done, which is. Odd.
After watching this for a while and realizing Steve's not just messing with his head because he's an asshole, Danny is just, "That's it! I've had it!" and then wakes up or whatever, still angry and confused only to see Steve and Kono and Chin sitting around his hospital bed looking all concerned-face.
Danny stares at them for a minute or two and then remembers being sick or hit in the head, whatever, is all, "Fuck you forever, L. Frank Baum!" because his life, okay, ridiculous enough without The Wizard of Oz thrown in, Jesus Christ. >:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
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